Bi men and aging

It is also sobering (to say the very least) to think of how many families have been brutally torn apart by the very subject we've been discussing.

So much is at risk; marriage, family, self-respect........sad that, without a doubt, that there are many bisexual married men who have experienced this nightmare personally........

 

Personally, I think that when a bisexual male gets married, he had better have done his all his "homework", and considered ALL of his options, BEFORE tying the knot.

This, I feel, could serve to derail a major-league meltdown in the family at a later date, if his "secret" sexuality is discovered by a "vanilla" wife, who has been totally in the dark..........

 

Recalling now, certain appropriate expressions:

"The shit hit the fan"

"All hell broke loose"

"A clusterfuck"

"A bloodbath"

From accounts I have read here, it would seem that these expressions MORE than hit the nail pn the head, regarding a bisexual husband revealing his true sexuality to his unsuspecting "vanilla" wife.

God help all involved..............

 

Also, "Apocolypse Now"...............

 

Just was thinking......

When a wife says to her husband: "You know you can ALWAYS tell me ANYTHING", something tells me she is NOT counting on her spouse coming out to her as bisexual..........

 

Probably not and that's when you find out whether or not you can really tell her anything. Well, hold on a second: You can tell her anything; the problem may come about her accepting what you just told her and then how she's going to react, what she's going to say, what she's going to do...

 

KD23:

Exactly:

The bisexual husband has NO IDEA whatsoever as to HOW she will react, when he reveals to her his "secret desire" to have sex with other men........it can go either way here, for certain........

 

My desire to be with other men is increasing. At 62 divorced no wife to worry about, or have sex with either.

Desire for sex is high. But I don't get as hard as often and sometimes find it difficult to cum.

As for age..younger in both sexes is hotter..so I d say 30s or older..and other like/desire...large uncut shaved cock (I know it wasn't asked...but don't ask may not get!)

 

Well that's exactly why I said nothing about my cock sucking & cum swallowing past when xw said I should have to suck cock, make a guy cum in my mouth. I just hoped if she meant it, she'd set it up and I'd suck him and make him cum. And when I finally asked her to feed me my cum I was concerned about her reaction but I was really horny and cum hungry!. Thanks KD.

 

That's the scary part: Not knowing how she's going to react. And, yes, the exact reason why so many bi guys won't tell the wife because the horror stories about such a confession going sideways are true but, at the same time, she could be all for it and could very well give you the permission to get the cock you want and need (under certain terms she might lay down).

 

KD23:

Indeed, a VERY sensitive, "hot button" situation such as this CAN certainly go either way, and, NOT knowing the reaction of the wife HAS to be rough as hell on the husband, not knowing if he will still have a marriage or not, after the truth is revealed about his "dark side"...........

 

I wouldn't call it a "dark side" since many a man who learns that being intimate with a man has finds that it has dragged them into the light. Since we're talking about being bi and older, there's the possibility that he could tell his wife who is a woman who, being slammed with her own sexual issues, might not care if hubby likes or wants to throw it down with a man because (a) he's not bugging her to have sex or (b) she knows that he still has his drive and his needs have to be taken care of and, well, as long as it's not with another woman.

Or another horror story gets created. Many a man has asked me, "What should I do? How do I tell her?" and I've felt powerless because, fuck, I know what I would do... doesn't mean you should do it. How to tell her? Just say it and let the dice fall where they may or if you have fears and/or reason not to put your marriage at risk, don't say anything. This is the part where you could be fucked if you do and fucked if you don't - and I do not even mean in a good way.

You can blame society and its strict adherence to the "norms" it created and means for all of us to live by. I still don't know how all of this can be visible to us, and we don't change or adapt from those outmoded ways of doing things.

 

KD23:

For certain, society and its VERY strict adherence to "the norm" has, IMHO, fucked more than a few men (especially married men); think about it.....just WHAT constitues "normalcy" these days?

What MIGHT be "normal" for somene else is NOT "normal" for others.

Then again, HOW can "mormal" be truy defined?

Billions of people walk the face of the Earth, and NOT ONE is TOTALLY "normal", even though they may appear so.

Why, then, the much-used term, "vanilla"?

Myself, I would think that "rocky road" would be far more interesting (after all, VARIETY is SUPPOSED to be "the spice of life")......................

 

Which is why I didn't react negatively when she brought up me sucking cock hoping she'd set it up, then we could go from there with my desires...and her permission..and not only might we still be together BUT my bff who taught me so much, whose cock I sucked for many years now lives less than 2 miles from where her & I lived way back then. Never know what life may have in store...

 

"Normal" has been defined for the longest time; humans are the only creature who'd assume that the meaning of the word didn't apply to them. Yet, we do wind up defining that which is normal for us, don't we, even when it may defy the meaning as set by our social contracts. Normal for me is what I say it is; there are those who'd say that it's not normal for a man to be a cocksucker and not be gay - but they're not likely to be a man who is a non-gay cocksucker because in their version of normal, men do not suck cock. Ever. Anyone who doesn't eat pussy, in my view of normalcy, isn't normal at all. You get the picture, don't you? "What is normal" winds up being a bit of a circular argument because there's what it means socially and then there's what I say it is... versus what you'd say it is and based upon what's normal for you. It's one of the reasons why we can't agree on what normal is because it's different for every last single one of us. But, for shits and giggles, go look the word up in a real dictionary, like Webster's or Oxford.

People who use the term "vanilla" to describe either the sex they have (good old missionary position every time) or their sexual mindset (firm believers in the way it's supposed to be) or just living a life that has little or no excitement in it probably never had Madagascar vanilla, which is among the best fucking vanilla you could ever put in your mouth. Or the Tahitian variety. "Vanilla" denotes blandness, a lack of variety or diversity or the same old shit everyone does every night of their sexual lives without varying it one iota which is why such relationships get to a point where some... spice is needed to up their vanilla game to the next level, like the difference between cheap vanilla extract and the real-deal kind of vanilla that will knock your socks off. Or the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla bean ice cream. And, by the way, the #1 ice cream in the world isn't chocolate - it's vanilla.

Whoever said that variety is the spice of life... probably lived a vanilla (the cheap kind) existence. The rocky road presents obstacles to be dealt with along with varying degrees of chills, thrills, and spills but if one lacks a sense of adventure, the rocky road appears to be more of a risk than anything else and... they're not totally wrong about that. I will say that once you've been on the rocky road, taking a break from all the bumps and jolts... gets pretty fucking boring so it's back on the rocky road as soon as humanly possible and then wondering why I chose to travel it again and knowing how it can shake your whole life up and not necessarily in a pleasant way all of the time.

I can't imagine what it would be like to have my wife suggest that I should suck a dick. I told my first wife that I was bisexual before we even got married and, well, we got married which says that she didn't give me any grief about it. Ditto for my second wife; I told her during our third conversation before our first date and, well, the date happened and we got married and in either case, if they had objections to my sexuality, we would have never married. But I know about the trap of being bi and married and being stuck between a very hard rock and an even harder hard place or, really, it's just not being married that's the killer - it's when you get into a relationship with (a) a woman or (b) a totally gay man who doesn't believe you should be bisexual if you're gonna be with him.

Which, by the way, is normal behavior and based upon what society says normal is supposed to be.

 

I didn't forget you in my last comment, but I wanted to ask you how you were thinking and feeling when she suggested that you become a cocksucker? The other thing that I can't imagine is a wife being bold and daring enough to suggest to her hubby that he becomes a cocksucker when, uh, he's straight and has shown zero interest in such things unless it's her sucking his cock, of course. One thing I do know is that I've known guys whose wife suggests that, you know, it wouldn't be all that bad if he were to suck a dick - and it would spice up things in the bedroom - and she brought it up because even though he did his best to hide it, she knew that he was, at the least, interested in it or found out that before they met, he was sucking cock like it was going out of style.

How did she know? A lot of guys subconsciously out themselves; their behavior changes as well as their daily routine; they have a new male friend and when he's never mentioned really having a friend - or he's got a few new friends. I've had guys out themselves to me in this way and didn't know that they did... because I never told them that if hadn't known before, I know now but, yeah, sometimes, it takes one to know one.

So, um, if you choose to answer that question I asked, that'd be cool and very much respected - and maybe other guys could learn from that specific moment, too.

 

Hey KD, No worries, hope you're well.
She brought it up a couple times during sex when I wanted a bj or to cum in her mouth. As she didn't really like giving oral and if she let me cum in her mouth she spit it out as soon as she could. I was thinking how I'd love for her to set it up. How I'd love to suck cock for her and make him vum and swallow. I also wanted to tell her of my past, however she had a problem with what she shared with friends neighbors our parents etc. So I feared telling her would 1) potentially get a bad response and 2) insure everyone knew including those I'd never
want to know.

I can think of none of the possibilities you shared being it. I did try to spark interest in a three some both ffm & mmf but never happened. When she was drinking the idea was discussed a bit but nothing more.

So and I don't recall if she talked about me sucking cock before or after I tried to get her interested in the mmf.

I honestly think she disliked sucking cock and swallowing cum to the point she said to me "You should have to suck a cock and make him cum in your mouth".

Even getting her to feed me my cum was after the above things. More ? Let me know. Thanks.

 

Where in VA?

 

I understand and thank you for sharing this. So, I'm guessing she said it and in that "You try it and then tell me how you like it!" kind of way that I've heard women say but, eh, not really giving him 'permission' to suck a dick - but not understanding that by saying something like that, her guy just might go find out why she doesn't want to suck him off and one way to find out is to suck a guy off and see if you like or dislike it. I get it from a woman's point of view; you get 'sick and tired' of guys wanting you to blow them and get them off in your mouth and I don't know a woman who didn't have a guy swear to God he wasn't gonna cum in her mouth - and came in her mouth and now, any guy after this fool would be lucky if she sucked him and a miracle if she sucked him off.

I always say that being bisexual taught me a lot about why women don't like to have sex with us since I learned a lot of the same reasons that they learned. I learned the hard way what it feels like to be sucking guys off when I really didn't want to but I did it so they'd leave me alone and stop begging me to suck them off. On the plus side, I got to suck a lot of cock and when girls/women would turn guys down when they asked for a blowjob, well, that was more for me. On the downside, a lot of women wonder why we'd cheat on them and especially with another guy...

P.S.: I am well, thanks for asking!

 

I heard that ( then you try it ) from my wife long ago. I had gone down on her after cumming in her, but I never took a direct shot in the face or a mouthfull of my huge ejaculations. The occasion came along where she was giving me a great bj and she stopped to stroke me until I shot off. I told her that I wanted to finish in her mouth, then she could spit it out or whatever. Her suggestion was if I thought it was so great, then I should try a mouthful myself. I had to carefully think about what I was going to say. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, I thought about it and said OK. I knew what it tasted like, so I didn't think it was a big deal. Her face lit up like she just received a surprise gift . With a pillow under my back and my drouling cock hovering over my nose, she sucked me for a little bit then stroked me until I came. Most of it went right in my mouth, but her stroking me to get the last cum out of me got a lot of it all over my face. There were two ways to go. If I said she was right, it would be"See, I told you so".
I decided to say "Wow that was fun and not bad". I have been the recipiant of my own cum ever since. It also led to bi adventures with our friend. I guess it turned out like an Even Steven deal .The tradeoff was and still is rewarding. Sorry, I couldn't go through 54 pages of posts before posting