Bi men and aging

It's not over until it really is.

 

KD23:

And how right you are!

 

It's like this: If you're already active as a bisexual, then it's... business as usual; you get your pussy and cock when you can. If you haven't taken the plunge yet and you're older, um, well, what have you been waiting for? "Maybe one day" isn't going to cut it because that "one day" may never arrive for you. Is it risky? Yes, because trying to have sex with someone - and then having it - has always been risky; could you possibly ruin a marriage or relationship? Yes, it's possible if you get caught. If you out yourself to your wife/girlfriend/lover and she rips you to shreds, um, shit, sorry about that but you already knew that telling her was going to be risky and more so if you've been a member of this - or any other - forum that discusses male bisexuality.

Is it worth this risk? A great many men believe that it is and a greater number of men - past and present - have also decided that it was worth the risk because it's better to try and fail than to never try at all and if you never try, whose fault is that? Not your resident female's fault by any means - she's just the excuse that's available to justify your failure to do what you know you needed to do. Now, I don't advocate cheating on your partner - I just know that men do and with and without success... but this has always been a crap shoot but even I know guys who have said, "I don't want to be on my death bed and thinking that I should have sucked cock... and now I'll never get the chance to."

And they went forth to suck dick - and sometimes, the cock they sucked was mine. And even when it was some other lucky guy who got to break them in, they've come back to me, have shared what they did with another guy, and mention, I don't know why I never did this before now..." and, um, maybe they blow me, maybe they don't but the point is that plans are not actions and time, at this stage of things, isn't your friend or in your favor. And, if by chance or pure bad luck your dick doesn't really work like it used to? It's like an older guy told me about his problems with this: "My mouth and ass still work..."

At the end of any day, you do what you have to do, and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. But if you're one of the guys talking about how badly you want to suck cock or feel a hard cock twitching and jerking in your ass, well, whatcha gonna do and when would be a nice time for you to do it? Just asking.

 

KD23:

Once again, yet again, your post indeed speaks many volumes, spoken with both common sense and intelligence.

And, of course, when you're MORE than horny.......and your urge for some hard, throbbing boners and tight male tail is driving you crazy.....well, don't let any more grass grow under your feet!

 

How horny do ya have to be?

 

KD23:

I think you've answered your own question, my friend!

 

I've always known the answer, but the question was for those who don't know the answer yet.

 

KD23:

Too bad that more "closet bi" or "bi curious" men do not joining HIP Forums, and read of your extensive experiences (literally a lifetime!) of highly-charged sexual encounters on both sides of the proverbial "fence"...........

 

Yeah, too bad...

 

KD23............

Think of the intense and thorough "education" you could give these guys!

Man, talk about being "a master at his own craft"!

 

I've educated a lot of guys over the decades. A "master?" Hardly; I know what has worked for me over all this time and I know what other guys have found to work for them; I know to separate the truth from the bullshit and I've educated guys (and quite a few gals) to look for the truth of things and don't believe shit coming from people who may not be bisexual - but they think we're gay so that's close enough for them.

Just like in "The Matrix," I can show them the door, but they still have to walk through it; it's not as if they don't know that the door exists but as it's said, he who hesitates is lost and worries and fears over stuff that can be mitigated, eliminated, or just done away with keeps many a "budding bisexual" from walking through the door. Sometimes, it's about "tough love" in that, okay, you're afraid to do this and you're grown and have to make the best decisions you can but while you're sitting in your closet feeling the need and denying yourself, I'm out there sucking the nut out of a lot of guys, watching them suck the nut out of me, and even putting some in their backsides.

Does that sound like something you might be interested in?

I might even be able to tell them exactly what they need to do (depending on their situation) but they still have to do it... because I can't do it for them. The guy I'm currently educating went from the shock and awe of a gay man taking him in a room and giving him the blowjob of his life and got him to touch another man's cock for the first time. We found each other and he had questions... and I had the answers and six years later, he's a card-carrying bisexual in good standing, he's got a gay FWB bottom for a lover and the two of them are magic together - and he enjoys encounters with other men and women. He still has a lot of shit he needs to deal with and learn but he's made amazing progress, and I've pretty much taught him everything I know.

I may or may not mentor someone else, but I've tried to impart the things I've learned to those who wants to learn them. Here's the door; it's not a bowl of cherries on the other side so disabuse yourself of the bisexual fairy tale you've been hearing. You've been warned about the good and bad of this and now, it's your decision to cross over the threshold... or to stay on the other side of the door.

 

KD23:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

KD23:

What would say was the "toughest nut" you had to crack, regarding trying to induce a bi-curious (but still reluctant)guy (married or single) to finally "give it a try", regarding m/m sex?

 

It's always trying to convince a guy that it's not going to mean he's going to be gay if he does what he says he wants to do. It's the guys who say, "Yeah, but..." because they know what I'm telling them is the truth... but every objectiton they can dream of comes to the surface and right along with all the social bullshit, stereotypes and misconceptions; it's really. dealing with any guy who's been sorely afraid of giving it a try and letting their fears control their inaction. It's always trying to introduce logic to the conversation and not let emotions run things.

If I tell you that I've been sucking cock since I was nine - and despite that and being willing to fuck a guy in the ass as well as be fucked in the ass (and more times than I care to admit to) - and I tell you that I'm not gay, why would you continue to believe that if you let me suck your dick, you're going to turn into the dreaded flaming fag? But you want to know what it's like to get sucked off by a guy since you heard that guys do it better than women? It's always trying to undo the ignorance they've been taught to adopt. If you're worried about your wife, family and friends finding out, well, the first thing is why are you here talking to me about this? Next, if we were to do this, the only way they're going to find out that we did is if you tell them but I get it - you want to do this and it's making you paranoid and, GG57, I had to learn to... just walk away from the tough nut cases because if I can't convince you to do something that you're telling me you really want to do, then no one can or will.

With this one guy, it took me a month of day-to-day conversations (and often repeating myself) before he decided to take the plunge because he trusted me - and making me feel some kind of way to think that, up to this point, he hadn't trusted me. The big day comes and he's so nervous if I had some Valium, I would have given him two; he wants to rehash everything we talked about for the last 30 days; hemmed and hawed, cried, almost threw up and this was before we even got naked. I knew that major baby steps would be required; there would be no stripping down and going right for the blowjob with this guy and I have never, in my life, seen a guy be so terrified over something he kept insisting that he wanted to do.

I had to tell him that if we can't touch each other, chances are good that he's never going to get to do it and after about an hour and a half, I was finally able to blow him - and I volunteered to do him first to show him that there's really not a whole lot to it and with the understanding that when I make him cum, he's done for the day. He came in two minutes, and I was again amazed at how a guy getting sucked off by a guy for the first time can bust such huge nuts but he did and he went down on me - but not before I had to convince him that "cumming too fast" is okay and it happens to the best of us - until I told him I was going to cum - three times - and he didn't stop so you know what happened and... he threw up all over me. If I tell you exactly why cum is an acquired taste, well, okay - I guess there are still some things a guy has to find out the hard way.

One of the moments that taught me that there's a point where I should just stop trying to convince a guy that if he wants to be a cocksucker, then he should do all he can to become one. If I tell you from experience the good and bad of it, there's not much else I can do and you're either going to believe me (and we're going to do this) or you're going to keep believing the dumb shit you've been told and we won't be doing this and, yeah, maybe you need to do this with someone else.

 

KD23:

Another excellent, right-on-the-mark, "tell-it-like-it-is, man!" response!

IMHO, it would seem that both MATURITY and TRUST go hand-in-hand together, in such situations.

And, as you've correctly stated, getting past all the stereotypes and useless "PUB" spewed by society is ndeed a major hurdle to be overcome.......that, alone, has to require a lot of patience, on both sides........

 

It can be rather simple. You're horny right now and while you could wait to do something about it later, we can do something about it right now if you're game. I can suck you off and you don't even have to suck me off in return but if you want to, I'm not going to tell you not to. I've been doing this for a damned long time so I know what I'm doing and all that good shit and if I didn't think that it was safe for us to do this, I wouldn't allow it to happen and no matter how horny you are or how blue your balls are getting.

It's sex. The only difference between me sucking you off and some babe doing it is that I really want to do it and all you have to do is pull your dick out and tell me to go for it - oh, and I'm a guy but if you believe that only gay dudes suck cock, well, I'm about to prove you wrong since I'm not gay - I'm bisexual and we can talk about what this is and what it means... or I can make that erection you have in your pants go away and in a very pleasant way... so what do you want to do?

If you say no, it's no big deal; I can ask and offer and you reserve the right to say no and for any reason you care to think of; all I'm saying is that if your balls are aching, I can help you with that right now and if you think you're gonna be able to go home to (a) jerk off or (b) hope your lady is going to want to fuck you, cool - it's really not a problem. But if she doesn't or you find that jerking off didn't do anything for you, just remember I offered to get you off in a time-honored way and you said no. Now, what were we talking about before this came up?

Trust is important; maturity teaches you about trust but it also teaches you that trust can be implied without maturity being a factor and as evidenced by me and my young friends back in the day weren't all that mature... but we trusted each other just the same and we had amazing sex with each other and of a kind that grown-assed men dream about, jerk off to, and are afraid to trust someone to do for them. Not everyone is trustworthy and if you're not a good judge of people, well, you could wind up learning some hard lessons and the hard way - but we all do so it's not really that big of a deal and for us bi guys, we put up with shit from women and despite the hard, nasty lessons we learn about dealing with them and trying to get in those panties, we keep trying to do it and embody the current definition of insanity.

Who are you going to believe, a guy who's been bisexual for 60 years and has been there and done damned near all of it... or are you gonna believe the crap you see on social media or, dear Lord, watching porn? At the very, deepest root of this, GG57, it's not about sexuality: It's about sex. Sexuality is a way of life that dictates how you have sex but, again, you don't have to be a gay dude to suck dick with a guy and, honestly, you don't even have to be bi like I am:

You just have to want to do it. When I say this isn't rocket science, it really isn't but just like anything else that has to do with sex, we make this harder than it has to be; we can what-if this whole thing ad nauseum and until all of the cows come home and all that does is make us overlook the obvious and defies simplicity. If it takes me a month to convince you that it's okay for us to blow each other, that tells me that there's something still very wrong going on...

 

KD23:

I have long believed that in sexual relations (or, for that matter, most situations in life) things are often made out to be more complex than they really need to be; if your horny, you just want to get your rocks off, period.

So what's so difficult about that?

IMHO, all of this bullshit-spewing social media crap, combined with the views of too many narrow-minded bigots, can indeed make a bi-curios man's desire for same-sex encounters all the more complicated, when it certainly does not have to be.................

 

What's so difficult? Re-read your last paragraph. I will then add that a lot of guys are looking for that ideal thing: The ideal man, place, time, what's to be done, how it's to be done and... this ain't Burger King all that much. Being too willing to "follow the crowd" and a crowd that I don't think knows where it's going when, ideally, you make your own path and way through bisexuality (or homosexuality). Playing the wrong version of the "what-if" game. Guys today not really understanding that if they're afraid, they're afraid of the same things guys were afraid of 60 years ago... and 60 years before that.

Think about that one for a moment or two.

 

KD23:

Exactly.

WHAT is so DIFFICULT?

I's all so BASIC.......it's SEX (for getting your rocks off!)

You are HARD, HORNY, and rarin' to break out of the starting gate.......why make a situation complex when there is NO NEED?

Duh!

Then again, all of the negative taboo stereotypes, still spewed by the misguided, certainly does not help matters, never seeming to fade away, even after so many damaging decades............

 

The older I get the more I realize just how many men my age are bisexual