Bi men and aging

That’s how I feel and I don’t like to play games I’m 54 years old and I’m to old to play games

 

M/M hook-ups for older fellows should be straightforward and FUN.

No strings, no games, just hot, satisfying man-on-man action.

Of course, if an emotional bond(s) develops, it makes the sex that much more "bonding" and intense, at least IMHO............

 

Hookups for all men should be straightforward and fun... but that's not how it is anymore. What do we do to change this for ourselves because sitting back and waiting for the world to change is going to result in a lot of bisexual men not having the sex with other men that they need in their lives; what are you willing to do to increase your chances of getting some dick to play with? I realized a long time ago that when it comes to this, I am both hunter and prey... and at 68 years old, I'm still very much a hunter and I don't mind being prey all that much - but that never means that I'm stupid or careless about it, but I also learned that if you risk nothing, you gain nothing. Amazing that men are willing to put themselves out there to get pussy but when it comes to getting dick, eh, not so much...

 

KDaddy23:

Again, well said.

Too many "straight" guys cannot fathom the strong need that bisexual men have to "bond" (sexually and otherwise) with other men.

Personally, I feel that there are many "straight" guys out there who, deep down, really want to experience sex with another male, but (not surprsingly) are terrified of being labeled as "gay".

Just screw all the damn redundant and asinine labels and just follow your own desires and urges....it is YOUR life, after all.................

 

My wife and I personally love older couples, they have and are always teaching us so much. There are only a few things I don't ask about, hence why I came here, but not finding answers. I know someone in our group probably knows but there are some things I try not to get into. They definitely have a great deal of special insight though. As many of you have been saying, 'they know what they want, enjoy, are willing to do, it's all straightforward, and clear, no wasting time.' Younger couples are still trying to figure it out. We have been with many early on where the guy wanted cum, then didn't, then did, then didn't - oh my goodness - make up your mind! His wife got so frustrated with him she sort of moved him out of the way and we had incredible threesomes with her. Never had an older couple not suck, finish, kiss, cum everywhere, loving it. Never had an older couple not take us both, bent over, making us all orgasms many times. I am not a guy's butt fan but there is one older guy who is such a good... well you know what I mean that he is the closest I get to enjoying doing. And his wife is as good taking it anally being female making her my favorite. She is without a doubt the best dp - ever! My wife has gotten better with anal but is so good vaginally that there is no point in focusing on anal with her. She knows how I am about anal sex with the other wife and I also know how good the husband is at doing my wife (my wife said next to me, she'd F him all day, every day if it were possible), she is working on her own dp with us. Can't wait till she figures it all out. Again, back to the older couple, heck yes we love having sex the most with them over younger couples. I've never had a younger couple where the man said, "to fuck my wife the best, angle like this (moving me), then take her legs like this, and do this (helping guide me)." The older guys want us and their wives to get the most out of every experience. It's liberating and Fascinating!

 

How much do wanna bet that if there were NO FEAR of being labeled as "gay", that there would be quite a large number of mature/senior "straight married" guys finally saying to themselves: "I'm not getting any younger...... I'm finally going for it.......I gotta feel what its like for real to get it on with another guy."

"Labeling" has caused so much damage it truly is shameful..............

 

Earlier, KDaddy23 mentioned about being the "hunter" as well as the "prey".......regarding "hooking up" with other bi/gay men.

Do you older guys think of yourself more as a "huntter", or more the "prey", with men obviously trying to "score" with you?

Do you prefer thinking of yourself as the "hunter"?

"Prey"

Or both?

 

I, for one, still see myself as both hunter and prey. Hunting for and cock... is a pain in the ass these days but it's never really been easy and despite the explosion of men who are taking the plunge these days. Being prey, I would find out, is easier because you don't really have to do anything... other than be seen by other men and then hope that one finds you interesting enough to come hit on you. Or, usually, I'm minding my own business, not even thinking about sex either way and... some guy wants to fuck me or he wants to suck me off or he's asking me if I've ever sucked cock and there was a moment where I really became aware of this because I couldn't go anywhere without some guy hitting on me and, as I used to say, like I had a sign on me that only guys could see saying that if they wanted some ass or their dick sucked, I'm the guy to talk to because chances are good that I'm not going to say no.

I was used to being the hunter... when it came to trying to get into a girl's panties; I had enough male friends who were always game to have sex that we never had to ask each other if we wanted to - it was almost a given that we did. But it was shocking to realize that there were guys hunting me and I wasn't really aware of it or that, yeah, certain adults saw me as easy prey and having to face the stark reality that, yeah, I was not only easy prey but stupidly easy prey at that - but it all worked out for the good because I got to have sex with a lot of guys to go along with having sex with girls... but the reality, again, was shocking and not easy to accept... at first. I realized that I could be on the prowl for cock... and there were other guys hunting for someone like me like the one day when I had my eye on a guy and two guys approached me; one wanted to suck my dick, the other was looking for someone he could fuck and I was between a rock and hard place because I really wanted the guy I had my eye on - but he saw the two guys surrounding me and... he got away from me.

The good part was I saw him the next day and... I hunted him. He acted like prey, like he wanted to be caught but not so easily which made the thrill of the hunt more exciting and made taking him even more pleasurable for the both of us. The next day, he was hunting me since we had such a great time the day before and I understood that... this is how it has worked over all this time. Being prey isn't about being submissive or anything like that; it's about being available or of a mind to entertain the indecent proposals that may come your way; a gay dude looks me up and down and says, "Oh, baby, I'd suck you like no woman ever could!" and I said, "Oh, okay - show me!" He didn't quite live up to the hype but it was good for both of us but there were always days when I would "hide" from the hunters that my instincts told me were out to do me no good - but that's the risk you face and whether you're looking to have sex or not - and that when you trust your instincts and learn how to say no, to be able to run away from the hunter who was desperate to have his way with you and it's not going to be in your best interests.

I learned to be both... because it was the only way to get the dick I craved once I left my childhood behind...

 

KDaddy23:

EXCELLENT post; one of your best so far!

................If you ever decided to write a book on your sexual experiences (on both sides of the fence) with both men and women, either the book itself would have to be so thick it would be like a Webster's dictionary, OR, it would have to printed in a set of books with more volumes than the old Encyclopedia Brittanica!

 

It would take years to write and would be several volumes. It wouldn't so much be about the sex but what I learned by having sex, i.e., the shit you have to go through in order to convince someone that having sex with you is going to be worth it and they're not going to regret it; or convincing them that you're not going to fuck them over like the last person fucked them over or, yup, all us guys are dogs and the same and we don't care about anything other than getting our dick wet which, by and large, is true but it shows an utter lack of understanding about men and the libido that drives us.

Like, when you are the hunted and you're also prey, you get to understand how desperate guys can be to have sex since women - bless their hearts - have good reason to be stingy with the pussy and there's really no such thing as a free lunch with them: You want the pussy, you're going to pay for it in some way (including money). This puts a lot of men at odds... but I have always maintained that there isn't a man that I know of that doesn't know that you can have sex with another guy and men who are smart enough to know that you don't have to be gay to have the sex, either... and that every swinging dick you see is fair game and chances are you won't have to do a whole lot to get some guy naked so you can fuck his mouth before filling his ass with your hardness - then fuck him like your life depends on it and until you cum. In these things, age doesn't really matter; race doesn't matter; social standing doesn't matter and it's only illegal if you get caught - and not getting caught has always been a main thrust of the game (and the pun is intended).

You've not lived until there's a morally righteous guy on his knees and sucking your dick like it's the best thing he's ever had in his mouth when, twenty minutes earlier, he was 100% sure that it was a sin and he was most certainly going to die and go to hell... but his dick got hard in those twenty minutes and... needs always must. Always. There is no real sense of fair play in this, and I've had "saints and sinners" worshipping at the fount of my prick or groaning in ecstasy as they emptied their balls deep into my guts - and pleading to God and Jesus to forgive them. No, the book(s) wouldn't be so much about the sex but what I learned drives men to have sex with each other and, sometimes, more than we're driven to have sex with women.

And I'm pretty sure I couldn't find an outlet to sell the book(s) because of the very explicit sex I would write about...

 

KDaddy23:

There used to be a lot of "adult" stores in the Times Square area (NYC) that had large gay/bi sections that would not have been be able to keep your book(s) in stock, especially if they were illustrated!

All kidding aside, you mentioned "saints and sinners"..........ya gotta wonder how many "fire and brimstone" holy rollers have secretly jacked to "hot and heavy" m/m fantasies, or have, contrary to their intolerance-rife, hypocritical religious blustering, have actually been on both the giving and receiving end with another man.....and not just on one occassion.

"Facades" after all are only-in most cases-false walls...................

 

Secretly jacked, have secretly partaken of man-flesh because why fantasize about it when you can do it while invoking the name of God to justify their wickedness? For them, it's never about how many; it's about the fact that men like them do not practice what they preach and that they aren't as immune to the pleasures of the flesh as they're supposed to be because, after all, they, too, are only men and men have needs and just like such men have a need to keep up appearances but what happens behind closed doors stays behind those doors.

It's not just what I've done; it's what I've seen, too, let alone what I've heard along the way and from reliable sources and all in my lifelong pursuit to answer a question: How can something that everyone says is so bad feel so good? The answer is: It feels good because it's supposed to and learning that men will do whatever they have to do to in order to have sex; by any means necessary, fair or foul - now it's all about how it's being justified by those who, let's say, aren't all that polite about it - and if you expect other men to be polite, nice, and caring about your feelings, guess again; if you're running around trying to have sex with men like you'd go about with women, there's some shit you don't understand and beginning with the obvious: Men aren't women and even gay men are not women even when they act like women.

I figure that by the time a guy gets to be my age, he would have stopped looking at bisexuality with rose-colored glasses and really understand that which drives this whole thing: Sex and getting as deep into the depravity of it as we can stomach; I just happen to be one of many who learned these truths before I was an adult and in a time when society wasn't so PC about men having sex with each other and, yeah, to them, it was all homosexuality and, to me, proof of how stupid, naive, prudish, and clueless our society is about a great many things and especially a man's need for sex and what he's willing to do - and endure - to get it.

Fuck the rules; I'm not straight and I'm not gay; I am forever bisexual and I do not sugarcoat what it can really mean to be this way; I've seen the best and worse of male bisexuality...

 

KDaddy23:

IMHO, "sexual desire" and "lust" go hand-in-hand.

A man's sexual drive is a most FORMIDABLE force, and, why do you think a "straight" guy (who ain't getting any from the wife, will let another guy blow him, to relieve his acute case of blue balls?

I have read fo a lot of "straight" male celebrities (and other males holding high offices) over the years who were notorious womanizers, who, when a women wasn't available when they were REALLY raring to go, wouldn't think twice about letting another guy go down on them.....ANYTHING to bust a BIG nut!

A man's sexual drive, indeed, is raw, lustful, and primitive, perhaps the strongest link to our ancient Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon ancestors...........

 

Oh, I know why he would... since I've made a lot of straight guys... less straight. You know you're preaching to the choir on this one. So many straight guys willing to do anything if I'd suck them off but we - men who enjoy sex with other men - might be the glass a straight guy breaks when he can't get any pussy but once he's been with a man, well, why fuss trying to get pussy when you know a guy who'll blow you and swallow your cum without complaint? As a young man, I learned these things; as an older bisexual, I understand the older guy who's at his wit's end because he needs sex and can't get it from conventional sources - and I'm here to let him know that it's okay to get some dick; try it and like so many of you, maybe you'll like it... if you're not afraid.

 

KDaddy23:

Personally, I think that "straight" is yet another redundant label.

Like you picture two macho "straight" guys both plowing the a woman in the SAME hole at the SAME time.......you're gonna tell me that these "straight" dudes aren't feeling INTENSE poleasure at having thier hard shafts grinding against each other in such a tight space??

Whether they admit it or not, you KNOW they are feeling a TREMENDOUS amount of stimulation, with their hard members rubbing against each other in that tight hole!

Again, if it were NOT for the "drilled into your head from boyhood" crap that ANYTHING even REMOTELY "gay" is WRONG, I will wager that far more men would be experiencing sex with their buddies (and other guys as well) with no looking back............

 

It is bad enough that both gay and bisexual behavior is labeled "abnormal" by those with narrow minds; ever wonder what their secret fantasies are?

Are some "straight" (male) bigots (and this, of course, includes "holy rollers") secretly lusting for other men, and their bigoted "I hate gays! Two men having sex is vile and immoral!" attitude is only a facade, a front, a false wall that is displayed to the world, so no one will suspect what his long-denied desires are really focused on?

It is a thought worth considering, to be sure................

 

You see, it's not about the labels; it's about the nature of the sexual beast men are and were designed to be. Morality was invented to control our behaviors and to focus our efforts into a better survival mode but as such measures of control tend to be, there's more the stick than the carrot or do as I say... or die. People - men and women - resisted this control and at the risk of their own lives and the resistance continues even unto today and with more men and women coming to the conclusion that morality isn't wrong - it just isn't telling the whole truth and a truth that, as a bisexual, I learned and as we all do.

Is it abnormal? No, not when you consider the human nature aspect of things; morally, it is abnormal and is the basis upon which abnormality is established; yet, how many guys have I introduced to this form of sex who have told me, after the fact, that what we did felt normal? Um, my dude, it felt normal because it is normal - you can't keep drinking morality's Kool-Aid that says it isn't, not once you find out for yourself. Bigots come in many forms - and sexualities - and we must be careful not to confuse things here but I have encountered too many gay men who has hated on me just because I'm not a homosexual and... if you're not like us, you're against us - and this is100% human nature and something that our so-called civility has never been able to rid us of.

So. I was told that boys having sex with each other is wrong. A man had sex with me and, okay, he shouldn't have taken advantage the way he did but the point is moot because he did and I fucking loved it. Right away, what I was told was proven to be a lie and as soon as the very next day, I kept proving that having sex with boys wasn't all that wrong and, oh, yeah, it feels pretty good, too. Not quite the same as having sex with girls (which I wasn't supposed to be doing either) but both things felt right to me. So while a lot of my peers bought into the lie - and under pain of great punishment by parents who also believed the lie - so many more of us were losing our minds doing the unthinkable - but not like our gay contemporaries were doing and especially the more effeminate ones. Like I say at times, gay men haven't exactly done bisexual men any real favors because their behaviors and antics can make the most intelligent people I know forget that I love women and pussy.

It about belief and perception over the truth. The truth is that I happen to be a guy who loves to be involved with women emotionally and sexually... and I don't have a problem being that way with men albeit more sexually than emotionally - but I recognize that it's never off the table. The social propaganda that has been around since before I was around continues to put unnecessary shit in the game to dissuade us from learning the truth and to divide us by creating differences which make no real difference as far as the labels go and when you consider that regardless of sexuality, we are all after the same things in life: Love, sex, and relationships and, no, these three things are not mutually inclusive - they just work very well together.

Now it becomes a matter of what you're going to believe: The hype the truth. Do I ever wonder what the secret fantasies are of the narrowminded? I happen to know that some have had the fantasy of having sex with a man and in ways that can even make me cringe so what, if anything does it really mean? Absolutely nothing since you're morally wrong for even having such impure thoughts. Again, I've long since lost count of the number of men who firmly believed that men having sex is vile and immoral and, well, they don't think like that any longer.

All this angst we talk about and that you've mentioned doesn't mean a whole lot when you know the truth about men and sex and not all of it is pretty and like we somehow want to think that it is and should be. Once you learn the truth, it becomes easier to see the lies. The labels are what they are - they're just placeholders that define certain proven behaviors. Bisexual means what it means but we all must determine and define our behaviors in this, and not make up shit about what the word means when, duh, the word is damned near self-explanatory and, classically, ya like men and women for romance, sex, or all of the above. You decide the path you're going to take and you have to be able to do it while ignoring the social bullshit.

I stopped listening to the social bullshit a long time ago because I had learned the truth about being human and having the need for sex and other comforts.

 

KDaddy23:

An EXCELLENT post, to be sure; I have read editorials and articles in newspapers and magazines that were nowhere near as profound, thought-proving, and as professionally written as what you just posted here.

If you are a male and consider yourself "straight", and, for whatever reason, you start thinking about what it would be like to have sex with another man, why should you feel guilty, and try to erase the thoughts from your mind?

NO REASON at all to feel guilty whatsoever.

Sex, indeed, with males, can indeed be passionate and "bonding", but it is also almost "primitive", raw, unbridled, and LUST-driven.

We men ALL lust, regardless of what (or who) turns us on.

It is indeed the instincts of both the hunter and the hunted, the naked, raw lust that makes sex between males so intense and profound............ENJOY what gets you hot, and screw the ignorant naysayers, who haven't got a clue as to what the "real deal" is, sex-wise................

 

We "don't know" what makes a guy get into his late 40s/early 50s and decide that now it's time to find out what it's like to have sex with a man, that it's time to gather up all the fantasies and stray thoughts about it and make them real - but in the face of inaccurate social rhetoric that tends to confuse more than anything else. Sexless relationships get most of the "blame" for guys migrating to getting some dick but that's... easy; what gets lost is that a lot of men who continue to enjoy sex with a wife/girlfriend are also wondering, "Hmm, what's it like?" because there must be something to it if so many men are into it - and they're not gay, which is important since what I call "The Specter of Gayness" continues to haunt and hang over male bisexuality like a wet, moldy blanket.

My now-40-something protege asks me why guys my age are so cool and laid back about having sex with men and I said, "Because most of us don't give a fuck what anyone has to say against it; mind your business and stay out of mine and the only reason why you should be saying something about me sucking cock is if you want me to suck yours... and you're ready to suck some dick, too. We get to a point where we're too old and sick and tired of playing the sex games that we've been playing since we were teenagers and, well, I know that I stopped giving a fuck before I got old but, yeah, we just get to a point where we don't care what anyone has to say about it - and we need to get to doing it before our time runs out."

He didn't think it was really that simply but as he, himself, approaches 50, he sees that I wasn't bullshitting him about not giving a fuck; if you wanna do it, then get off your ass and do it and more so when the only way you're going to face some flak about it is if you tell someone what you've been doing with the fellas. They say that us guys reach our sexual peak at 20 or thereabouts and... that needs some major revision because I very much remember reaching 40 and being hornier than ever and into my late 60s, it's not let up yet and I'm clearly not the only senior citizen who can still get it on and still has the fires burning hot and bright and the "advantage" I've had all of my life has been not being totally dependent upon women and pussy for my sexual pleasures as well as the other "advantage" of not having to figure this out approaching middle age.

I can tell you that it's nice not having to figure out what to do about "the call of cock" that seems to summon a lot of men in the 50s to 60s age group and, seemingly, out of nowhere; it can be a great struggle to shrug off decades of heterosexual behaviors and beliefs so that one can find out that having sex with men ain't all that bad and the only thing it changes is that you just learned about another way to have sex and, forever and ever, being gay has nothing to do with it since, duh, gay men obviously aren't the only men who are into sex with men - and then we get to the point where the labels lose their ages old meaning and the lines between straight, bi, and gay start to get blurred because, um, you don't have to be bi or gay to enjoy being in a 69 with a guy or to find out what it's like to fuck a man and/or be fucked by one:

You just gotta want to do it. If you hear the call of cock, find a way to answer it because tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

 

KDaddy23:

Again, VERY well said.

It's like the old joke, where, while a rooster goes: "cock-a-doodle-doo", a horny gay/bi guy goes: "ANY cock'll do!"