Bi guys----thoughts when you first "crossed the line"

After your first encounter with another guy-did it "strike a deep chord within you" when you really found sex with another guy just as satisfying (or still greater) than sex with a girl?------------Did you try to "shy away" -regarding your guy-on-guy fantasies/urges (thinking it wrong)-or was there "no looking back"-and just enjoyed sex with both genders? ------------Did you think that you were "wrong" in feeling as you did? Or-you just went "full ahead" and just enjoyed sex "on both sides of the fence"? How did this effect your dating--------pre-"wedded bliss"?

 

When I first had sex with a girl, seriously: Who knew that's where my ding-dong can go and that it could feel good putting it there? I sure didn't and I was off and running with it. Then, I got introduced to dick and, well, I don't know why everyone says that boys doing it to boys is bad and evil, but this feels just as good as having sex with girls! There was always that understanding that having sex with boys was wrong, bad, evil, pick a word... and I didn't care. Now, at the age I got started, there were no fantasies; there was only being around a bunch of boys and girls who weren't afraid to have sex and in almost every combination our fertile and impressionable minds could latch onto. While guys were growing up and leaving the boy-sex party behind, hell, no: I wasn't giving it up because I had... found myself. I would understand that having sex with boys was... actually pretty normal if you didn't pay attention to what religion had to say about it and my thought that it had to have been normal for men because there's a rule against it. That and if it was okay for a girl to suck my dick, then it should be just as okay for a boy do to it.

I was... smarter than the average bear. Used it to my advantage, too.

Dating. I dated girls/women. Men... hooked up or got together or just met up. Still very much about the sex in either context for me and it didn't change after I got married because I understood that being married didn't have a damned thing to do with my sexuality, which is a constant with me or, sure, a wife can come and go but I will always be bisexual with a wife or without one. From my first "official" day as a bisexual male, I have spent my life defining and refining my bisexuality; I've had what some people would call a stupid amount of sex with both men and women... because sex is fucking good to have and there's no such thing as too much sex in a lifetime and, yeah, you'd better get it in while you can.

Crossed the line? More like I found the place where I belonged and thanks to how sex can really be between males. No regrets. Zero guilt or shame. No fear. Been there, done that, I own the fucking T-shirt company. If there's a way to have sex with someone, I've probably done it and more than once or twice and if there's something I haven't done, it's because I didn't want to - but I had the chance to. I don't have a bunch of preferences; I prefer to have sex - period. Be of legal age to consent to sex; be healthy enough to be having sex; don't be my idea of an asshole. Keep it simple and as uncomplicated as possible and make it easy to get laid, not harder.

Is getting some dick better than getting some pussy? Not for me; females are inherently and clinically insane, but nothing is better than pussy but getting some dick can be just as good and satisfying... if you ain't afraid to get some dick.

 

Well said KDaddy23!

 

I've pretty much always have had my head screwed on right about being bisexual, understanding it about myself and getting to understand it in others as well. The moment I got disabused of that religious stuff, I was able to look at sex as a very human thing to do and understanding that humans will do whatever they have to do in order to have sex, which is why we have rules... and not everyone plays by them. When you can look at it and see it for what it really is, there is no crossing the line; it's just being able to do what humans are capable of doing and not discriminate against someone for being male or female because sex is good with both.

 

KDaddy23: Your response-in a word-EXCELLENT-----WELL said and QUITE "adult"------thank you for sharing here your honest and open thoughts-------You-clearly-are a fellow that KNOWS what he WANTS------WHAT appeals his your tastes---- and ENJOYS sex with BOTH genders-----without any feelings of guilt and wrongdoing; being TRUE to YOURSELF is a HUGE factor here-----------screw the bigots and just plain jerks who are too opinionated to think "outside the box; again BEING YOURSELF is what it is all about------it is YOUR life good friend-----and it is YOURS to ENJOY while ignoring those who cannot face the TRUTH about sexual feelings/relationships/encounters with BOTH genders--------again-THANK YOU for sharing here your honest and open thoughts-------

 

I know a lot of guys have a hard time figuring this out; I know a lot of guys tend to follow the crowd in these things. I had to figured it all out on my own and via trial and error when having sex with both sexes - never genders and I am old enough to know the difference and smart enough not to get caught up in the quasi-political nonsense of including gender as a part of the definition for bisexuality because transgenders can be bisexual if they wanna be - or not. I just wish people would stop bastardizing the definition of bisexual like this because it only serves to confuse things even more. Gender is the act of being male or female and there are roles that are assigned to each act and I get that people aren't feeling the traditional roles or feel as if they were born into the wrong sex and want to change some stuff - but this doesn't have anything to do with bisexuality as a sexual orientation except anyone can be bisexual.

When you go from being indoctrinated as straight and become bisexual, there's more to consider than having the sex; there are real-life implications involved that calls for what society is saying and thinking and being aware of these things - but to never, ever, get caught up in the dumb shit because if you do, the meaning of bisexuality gets diluted and that just makes this even more complicated than it already is.

 

KDaddy23: Again-an EXCELLENT posting-one in which both truth and clarity are basking in the spotlight ;again-I think that it is when a bi guy (or gay) allows "straight" opinions and bull***t to further alienate these fellows-pushing these guys further and further away into their own little "ghetto"-----------great indeed is the "internal destruction" that bi and gay guys fight with each passing day-------again--------BE YOURSELF and be TRUE to yourself (if straight society has little understanding of a gay lifestyle-rest assured that they know still less about the lifestyle of bi guys)----------------

 

It's bad enough that people are still trying to equate bisexuality with homosexuality and some who are trying to promote it as a final destination for bisexual men; we don't need any more complications added onto bisexuality. One thing I will say that I noticed about your post was that it presumed that one crossed the line (as you put it) as an adult... and I didn't because I wasn't an adult when I crossed over into bisexuality or, as I like to say, got tossed into it. As such, the difference is that I've had almost 60 years as a bisexual to think about all of it and what it means when you strip away anything that's not part of the truth or only serves to, again, take something that was already complicated as fuck when I came along and make it even more complicated to do, let alone understand.

It's not only staying true to myself but staying true to what it means to be bisexual without any other bullshit added on. I still believe that it's a serious problem if I tell you that I'm bisexual and the only thing you're paying attention to is the sex I'd have with men and then assuming that I like men like I do women and, honestly, not just me but doing a disservice of this kind to any bisexual man; leaning more toward gay is not being gay. Obviously, you don't have to be a gay man to have sex like one but do not ever make the mistake of thinking that because I can have sex like a gay man that I am a gay man, leaning that way, or anything else remotely resembling being homosexual.

I am bisexual. I'm not the only man who is. Recognize and don't get it twisted. And don't be a lemming and follow the crowd off the edge of the cliff; learn to be the bisexual you need to be and as a part of your whole life.

 

And this line you mention is a social construct and not one created by nature. We were designed to have sex... and not just with women. That line is arbitrary at best and socially, it's considered to be a mistake to cross this line and while it is for some people, it's not like that for everyone who dares to be different, i.e., not content to just be straight or just be gay. You wanna rock the boat? Be bisexual; be greedy and want the best of both sexual worlds; the only thing you need to commit to is yourself and how you choose to live your life and get your rocks off; we pursue love, sex, and relationships like it's an all-inclusive thing and the truth is that it never way - it's yet another social construct that seeks to create shame in anyone who knows that it's not all-inclusive, that all of those things can stand by themselves if need be... and they don't always need to.

And I'd like to point out that every last one of us and regardless of sexuality are chasing the same things in life. We want and need to be loved or can do without it; we want and need to be in a relationship because we are a social animal and we're better together than alone... but some of us do just fine without a relationship; we definitely want and need to have sex and those who say they don't want or need it, well, that's a shame and not my problem. I learned that it doesn't matter if I have sex with a man or a woman... because it's still sex and despite the anatomical differences, if I can do it to a woman, I can do it to a man: Foreplay, oral sex, and intercourse, vaginally with women and anally
with both.

So what lines are really being crossed? And if we are crossing some arbitrary line, why try to shame us for doing so because there are those of us who choose not to be totally heterosexual or homosexual? I didn't so much choose to cross the line - I got tossed in to sink or swim... and I've been swimming my ass off ever since and I thought, then and now, that going both ways really is the best of both sexual worlds and the reality that says it's only one sexual world - just one that we've drawn lines in the sand about.

 

KDaddy23: Another excellent and QUITE insightful posting; all I can say is that I agree with you 100%; it is indeed refreshing when a fellow like yourself speaks both HONESTLY and INTELLIGENTLY; you are right on target-----we are designed to enjoy SEX------and it does not translate into enjoying it only with the opposite gender------if you enjoy sex with BOTH genders-----DO SO------and ignore the jerks who think otherwise----------it is YOUR life-after all-----------

 

Papa: I know you indeed walked along quite a few rough roads in your "journey" through the years---------but it is indeed a wonderful thing that you finally "found yourself"-----and are now thankfully at peace with your "position in life"(and let happiness be yours!) KDaddy23: He has indeed contributed great input-insight-and opinions here which truly enlighten us all; he is a fellow who KNOWS just "what's what" and refuses to be associated with labels and the ignorance of others------indeed-his input is always honest and right "on target"------------

 

@thepapasmurph, it's good to be here. One of the things I learned about developing as a young bisexual is that the environment you're in can play into how you accept this new "thing" going on - living in the city compared to living in rural areas and other such conditions. It helped that I was "insanely" curious and needed to know why sucking dick, swallowing cum, and having my butt crack creamed felt so incredibly good when, supposedly, it was the worst thing ever. Living in an urban city environment, I had a lot of very horny friends who were just as interested in sex as I was so we learned a lot from each other. The whole thing suddenly didn't make sense and I grew up to understand that kid logic just destroyed the whole religious argument against boys having sex because, um, lots of boys were having sex with lots of other boys.

I literally had country cousins who, obviously, figured it out in their very rural environment and living on farms and/or the closest neighbor was a mile or more away and they may or may not have attended a school and being around male peers. Still, even they knew that boys were supposed to only have sex with girls and the line between straight and homosexual should never be crossed; while many of my peers heeded the warning, well, um, not all of us did and going both ways... just made all the sense in the world and the more I delved into being bisexual, the more I learned about sex and life and that boys having sex with each other is actually pretty normal and for me, totally debunked the religious stuff.

I got tossed in and over the line to sink or swim. I swam. Not all of my peers were able to; the learning never stops. I've had guys say that they wish that they had grown up with me and I laugh and say that if they had, they would be just as okay about their sexuality as I had become because they would have been up to their eyeballs having sex and like the rest of us were doing - getting our heads screwed on right by getting screwed, sucking dick, all that good healthy sex stuff.

 

In discussing bisexual guys----------------------I cannot help but to recall the old Wrigley's ads that so were popular back in the 1960's:"Double your PLEASURE-double your FUN!"--------'nuff said!

 

I remember those commercials... and you can double your pleasure and fun... if you don't get all weird about having to cross a sexual line to do it. So many men and women cross the line and wonder why it took them so long to cross it; they wonder what they were really afraid of; having sex in the same-sex way of things feels right and normal but why wouldn't it when having sex is right and normal?

It's just that we got mindfucked into believing that not being straight is a very bad thing and it instills a lot of trepidation in those standing at that arbitrary line and trying to decide to cross over it and see what's on the other side... or to stay on the straight side. It's just that I learned that there is much more to bisexuality than having amazing sex...

 

KDaddy23: Again----------------well said and yours truly is quite certain that your words will "ring true" for a lot of bi guys on this board; and FINALLY discard with those ridiculous and useless feelings of guilt and just allow your "natural" feelings and urges to flourish--------------

 

When you keep asking questions, you keep getting answers and you get to see the unvarnished truth about men, sex, and sexuality. You learn about our social norms and the conditioning we all receive that's designed to make us straight and stay that way... except, it doesn't really work all that well and the proof is... bisexual and homosexual men. Guys who grow up straight but as fully grown adults, find that not being straight is what really works for them and crossing that arbitrary line isn't a problem for them since they can't indulge themselves without crossing that line... and why would you feel some kind of way about it when you wanted to cross that line? Some guys do it and regret it; let's face it - having sex with men isn't for everyone and it's okay for it to not be your cup of tea so it's back behind the line and with the understanding that you did try, which is way better than not trying.

When you're bisexual, you don't as much cross a line as you have that line pushed back so that your boundaries are expanded and, hopefully, your experiences will be expanded as well... if you're not afraid and you're not paying attention to the stigma and other bullshit that gets heaped onto bi guys.

 

Personally speaking-this fellow has no idea why "being bi" (like being gay) is often not fully understood-or tolerated (of course-religious teachings are of no help)------So a bisexual guy likes BOTH guys and ladies------is this so earth-shattering that the world will suddenly end? Will society sink because a bisexual fellow enjoys sex with BOTH genders? Hell no! I also wonder how other races/cultures look at bisexuality (let alone gay) Black? Hispanic? Asian? Sadly-yours truly has read on the cruel prejeduices-intolerance-bigotry-------and often-----far worse consequences-regarding gay or bisexual guys in other cultures and countries; hatred-and intolerance-of ANY kind is not only cruel and ignorant-but also----just plain STUPID--------if we could only-----FINALLY------learn to ACCEPT each other for WHO and WHAT we are-the world would be a far kinder place----of course-this would be hoping for a Utopia-----thankfully-I was not only raised to be "color blind" (regarding one's skin color) but also-to ACCEPT others as I wish to be accepted; "hatred" is truly a serious disease-----if only we could find an innoculation against it------------

 

It would appear that "straights"-as a general rule-think that only GAY guys are attracted to other guys; that-IF a guy has a wife-he is NOT inclined to seek out others of his gender for sexual relationships; could it be that quite a few "straight" guys find that they DO harbor deeply-hidden curiousities about sex with another guy-but-society has long dictated that such feelings are wrong-AND-knowing nothing about TRUE bisexuality-they do NOT wish to be thought of as "gay"; why a guy (with a wife or single) should deny his true urges and desires just because of what society intones-is really screwed up-----and does NO ONE any good-------------

 

Bi isn't understood... because it's not gay and it's not straight. We understand straight and gay; we have this thing about one man/one woman and not being greedy and definitely not wanting more sex than what being straight or gay may provide. Gay has always been been the great evil; there has been a centuries-long smear campaign against homosexuality that has shaped minds and opinions about what being gay is and what it means... except being bi isn't being gay and enter a lot of confusion, being singled out as greedy and all the other shit you hear about bisexual men in particular and, yes, including on the way to being gay.

I've said that it's so bad that people hear "bisexual" and automatically think "homosexual" because that's the thing we understand; it doesn't make sense that someone would want to be involved with both men and women and here comes "pick a side" and the premise that choosing to be in the middle isn't picking a side. The lie that all gay men hate women when the truth is they like women - they just prefer not to have sex with them, but some gay guys don't mind getting some pussy and still consider themselves gay. Ah, but gay propaganda and its agenda says that if you're gay - male or female - there cannot be any opposite sex hanky panky and don't you dare even look like you'd be interested in said hanky panky - once gay, always gay and there is no going back to anything else. I know gay men who have said that they could never have sex with a woman because of X, Y, P, W, and, at the same time, they admit to have never come close to having sex with a woman so it begs the question of how you can hate something that you don't have any actual experience with?

And now maybe you understand how the hatred and prejudice keeps itself alive. Straight folks who say that they could never have gay sex, not because they tried it and didn't like it but because they were told not to try it or even think about trying it and if you do think about it and find the thought exciting, well, you must be gay - and gay is still to be hated in 2023... because the bibles of the world says it is to be hated. But being bi isn't being gay.

The truth is that a lot more people understand bisexuality today than at any other time; it's that the social stigma continues to hang around and the religious prohibition against homosexuality doesn't carry much real weight but continues to be a part of the sexuality conversation. It's not really that hard to understand why we continue to be prudish and weird about bisexuality or why I've caught more hell about being bi from gay dudes than straight and then consider that from the start, we are not ever told the truth about sex and how inclusive it is and that attraction doesn't mean what we've been told it does and it's not all about being in a relationship and as religion and social norms continue to mandate and... we have not learned anything. We are slowly learning to be better about such things but it's hard to get rid of the old hate and prejudices and that anyone regardless to sexuality can bring their own perceptions and prejudices to the table that only serve to make understanding any of this harder than it has to be.

Bisexuality really isn't rocket science. You like men and women for love, sex, and relationships and not necessarily all of the above for those three things. Most bi guys are in it for the sex while others are in it for more than the sex and there is no wrong way to be bisexual but go into the forum and really pay attention to what the membership is saying and thinking about being bisexual - then tell me what you see. We can't even agree on what the definition of bisexuality really is and that only serves to keep muddying the waters because we are human and if something can be fucked up, we can and will fuck it up.

A man or a woman takes a look at their life and... there's got to be more to this than has been experienced to date. Maybe they've been feeling the pull toward the duality of bisexuality or they are looking for more or "better" sexual satisfaction or even a better and different romantic experience and one that you could get just being gay but not of a mind to give up being straight. That leaves bisexuality and it's so confusing because we've made it that way until you take the plunge and only then does it become clear and really undestandable.