bf bisexual

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by TrippieHippie, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. TrippieHippie

    TrippieHippie Member

    So my bf recently told me he was Bisexual. I told him he should take some time to find out who he is and explore. I would be here for him when he was ready. I told him I would supportive. As long as he didn't cheat on me when he was with me. As long as I knew about it. I was fine with it. He told me he wouldn't do that and he wouldn't dream of being apart from me for a day. He said he has been in denial for quite some time and he is finally just accepting he is attracted to males.
    My friends freaked me out and told me, there is no such thing as bisexual, that he is gay and doesn't know it. Personally, if you don't have anything nice to comment back about this, dont reply.

    <3 confused
     
  2. Binky

    Binky Member

    Well I’ve had two bisexual b/f - and being bisexual isn’t an excuse to cheat, and they knew that so that’s great! And by the sounds of it your b/f dose too. It’s nice that you’re giving him his freedom and accepting him for who he is, it shows you really cear about him. Though I can speck from experience there is such thing as bisexual because I too am bisexual, and it’s not like I chose to like both girls and boys, I chose to accept in and to not be ashamed of it.
    But I do have one question, did he tell you this out of confidence, or dose he know you have told your friends who may pass the *gossip* on?
     
  3. Okay.. why would your friends say that to you.. its will change from person to person! there is a middle path...

    For me appearance is not a big thing…… only personality and.. I have not had any experiences with men... but if I meet ANYONE Girl, Guy or both that I have a truly amazing connection with, I will not stop my self because they are a guy, or a girl. if its a guy.. then its a guy who im attracted to .. its nothing about being attracted to "males" or “females” its about being attracted to the person for who they truly are.
     
  4. TrippieHippie

    TrippieHippie Member

    I am glad I have someone else to talk to about this. I want to be openminded. I feel that our society has trained my brain to think this is wrong. I don't want him to feel that. I want him to know that I accept it. I guess i'm just a little insecure still about after my friends tease me for dating a gay guy. Which pissed me off. Thanks for inspiring me by saying that its about being attracted to who he really is. Maybe I was just forgetting about how and why I feel so in love with him. I know it was hard for him to tell me that, and him telling me that in convidence was hard. I just wish I knew more ways to be supportive. if anyone has suggestions let me know.
     
  5. TrippieHippie

    TrippieHippie Member

    I even told him, I would be willing to swing with him to make him feel more comfortable and expeirment with our sexualities. He didn't go for that.
     
  6. missfontella

    missfontella Mama of Da Assassins

    If you can handle that, good for you

    I, personally, couldn't deal
     
  7. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    if you realized one day that you were bi, and you told your bf whom you love that you were. would you want him to tell you to go out and find a girl to experiment with?! i would feel rejected and confused in that case. i wouldn't tell my bf i'm bi so that he would get sexually excited and/or push me away. i'd tell him b/c i love him and i want to be able to share my deepest feelings with him. about everything. if he says he doesn't want to be with anyone but you, just accept it and him for who he is. he's a man who loves you. he's attracted to both girls and guys... you wouldn't want him to go out experimenting with other girls would you?...

    i guess i can understand how you could possibly encourage somebody with recently relaized sexual feelings to experiment with them. but not your bf... it doesn't seem like he was telling you to break up with you or to propose expermenting with guys... he just wanted to tell you, a person he loves, that he has realized something about himself. a revelation if you will.......

    aaaaanyway, my bf is bi and i've known from the beginning. i also know that he has no deisire to be anyone else be it guy or girl, and i wouldn't want him to. unless of course we were having some kinky fun or something.... but that's beside the point really.


    i hope i was some help.... and didn't come off too harsh or anything...
     
  8. TrippieHippie

    TrippieHippie Member

    NO you helped, the reason i told him to take a break and explore, was because, when he told me he said he wanted to open new doors to his sexuality. He said the way he found out is, he got drunk with some good friends and slipped out that the two other guys he was drinking with, that they had been together. Zane realized that he should accept his sexuality. For days he wouldn't tell me, what was bothering him, he just kept saying he had to talk to guys before he could tell me soemthing he has been meaning to tell me for a while. He kinda made an ordeal out of it and i think thats what bothered me. For how close our relationship is, that he had to tell them before we talked about it. He spends all of his time with this other guy so I worry. We were talking about trying new things sexually, and he was saying how he thinks about being with a man. (in the bedroom only) I told him I supported his decision, ( or so I was trying to) and he said he wouldn't be comofortable doing that unless I was there and made him feel comofortable. ( I am also his first gf and first kiss and take a his virginity) So I can understand why he might be nervious. I just want to ease things for him.
     
  9. tigerlily

    tigerlily proud mama

    hmmm i see... i guess one thing i lucked out on is that my bf has done plenty of experimentation with guys already... so he has no feeling of missing out or anything...


    well i suppose if you're okay with being there for him to experiment and all then it should be great for him... he has the love and support of someone and he gets to discover more about himself. but i wouldn't advise pushing it... it might make him uncomfortable...
     
  10. Binky

    Binky Member

    I think I’m kindda the same, only I’m on the flip side. I came out (being bi) last year to a b/f that I have been going out for a year’s time. Before him I had only had one b/f who took my virginity and I was with him for 2 years. Well the one year b/f decided this was his chance to get a 3sum, but I didn’t want that because I see that as cheating, that ended up breaking us up, because he kept preshing me into wanting 3sums. Soon after my male friend of 8 years admitted to liking me and we decided to date, then to go out exclusively. I had never had the chance to sleep with a woman only to kiss. Do I wish I could have slept with a woman? Yes, but do I want to now? No, because I love the guy I’m with and I’m a one person girl. He knew that I was bi and haven’t had the chance to experiment yet, and he gave me that option but I didn’t want it. If things don’t work out then I will have my chance to explore, but right now I’m happy were I am, And I don’t cear right now cause I know we will last a long time.
     
  11. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    Trippie i've gone thru the same thing as your boyfriend on his side... i must say you handled it really well and I would like the same reaction from any girl i was seeing... that whole thing about your either gay or straight is bullshit... trust me.. ignore those fools.

    He's lucky to have an open minded girl like yourself...

    I dont think he'd care if you told him he could have time to explore... in fact thats the sort of thing I wish girls in the past would have said to me when I was younger and just starting to realize things.

    oh & if your into threesomes this is an opportunity for you.
     

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