best line you used when caughting cheating with another man/woman

i was in a restaurant with another chick and my girlfriend at the time, catherine happened to walk in and i told her, "catherine, this is my sister margie"

true story, even the names have not been changed to protect the innocent

 

did she believe you?

 

Honey, it was the strangest thing, I was walking down 3rd Avenue and my penis fell into this woman's vagina and I can't get it out!"

 

hunny i always knew you were curius about a threesome so

look what i did just for you

 

That's an amazing picture right there, Soaringeagle.

 

hehe thnx but im thinking i need to change it its taking every thread i post in off topic

 

yea when i first saw it i was like, "woah. those are some long ass dreads." mmhmm.

 

no but she thought it was so funny that we kept on dating

 

what a weak person your gf must have been

i would kick my boys ass to the kurb if that happened to me

 

How about a haircutarty: muhahahaha

 

Oops

 

Tell her you're starting up a dowsing service for singles. You're trying to find single women using your penis as a diving rod.

 

i have never cheated. never even came close....whether through lack of interest or lack of motivation, i dunno.

 

Sacrilege!

 

i just say, "i dont remember" or "hold on, let me just think" oh and then the flat out lie, "it wasnt me, i didnt do it"

 

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor

How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

How you can grant the woman access to your villa
Trespasser and a witness while you cling to your pillow
You better watch your back before she turn into a killer
Best for you and the situation not to call the beaner
To be a true player you have to know how to play
If she say a night, convince her say a day
Never admit to a word when she say makes a claim
And you tell her baby no way

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor

I had tried to keep her
From what she was about to see
Why should she believe me
When I told her it wasn't me

Make sure she knows it's not you and lead her on the right prefix
Whenever you should see her make the giggolo flex
As funny as it be by you, it not that complex
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs
You know she not gonna be worrying bout things from the past
Hardly recollecting and then she'll go to noontime mass
Wait for your answer: go over there
But if she pack a gun you know you better run fast

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor

How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

Gonna tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
I've been listening to your reasoning
It makes no sense at all
We should tell her that I'm sorry
For the pain that I've caused
You may think that you're a player
But you're completely lost
That's why I sing

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor

How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me

 

Sweet Jesus, I haven't thought of Shaggy in ages.


Mr. Bombastic was a great song.

 

"come on!"
when said in the right tone of voice, that pretty much works for anything

 

I could never take Shaggy too seriously.

He somewhat offends good taste.

 

A cool line would be "hey, baby I'm glad you're here! this chick just broke in, overpowered me, and forcibly raped me. Call 911


Hotwater