Being Ugly Blows.

OMGosh, I know of that group. I know someone in person at work that is in that group. And after I heard about it I spent pretty much a whole day one day watching videos of people in that group, MGToW. OMGosh. I am so like trippin' right now. I am giggling and laughing. OMGosh. OMGosh. Lol! This is awesome. I am so excited right now.

I feel connected. I don't why. I just love knowing things and I love that I know it. I get excited.

Anyways, I think he he was joking, though. I don't think he is actually in that group.

Knowing me and my track record of fucking around with old guys, we will sleep together. Because I'm lonely and deperate, and he is... a jerk, maybe? I mean if he is in this group, and he is sleeping around with an innocent little girl like me, then of course, he is a jerk.





















































































































The above post was a complete fabric of the writer's imagination. Please, do not contact the writer of this post. She is sleeping.


No joke, I have heard of that group, and watched a few videos about them. So, I did honestly get excited over that.

 

Speaking of "ugly" internal beauty...

.. I always, without fail feel like a shitty person when I end up thinking someone is "ugly" because of "their insides". It's because for the most part... I tend to not notice or care for beauty, both internal and external, and I think everyone is beautiful. But, sometimes... someone does something or says something horrible, either to me or someone else, that makes me think they're ugly. Then when I think they're ugly on the inside I proceed to think they're ugly or at least average on the outside. It's annoying to be that judgemental. Like seriously, go fuck yourself, aoabai... you ain't all that on the inside either, bitch. Thankfully, it only happens rarely, but when it does... I have to take a step back and chill the fuck out.

Calling, or in this case... thinking someone is ugly on the inside isn't any better than calling someone ugly on the outside. Basically, there is a difference between not being attracted to them vs. thinking they're ugly for whatever reason. No one has that right. Or at least I don't think so, even though people clearly have that right, anyways, lol. Yea, everyone has the right to judge. You don't want to be with said person because they talk too loud. Fine. Move on. Go away. Someone else will want them. But, you can't be judgemental. You don't have the responsibility to judge someone's value, worth, integrity, everything that make someone a human being. Therefore, going back to that example... you don't want to be with said person because they talk to loud (judging) due to the belief that someone that talks too loud is an attention whore (judgmental).

It's a thin line to cross. It hard to notice when you cross it, and be able to not cross it again.

 

I don't think it ever ends. There is a difference between having a relationship that last decades because you're used to one another and too scared to find something real, vs the real thing.

 

So having a romantic partner is the be-all end-all of existence, and if the world is cruel to you you are worthless?

I'm not 100% certain you need the love of others in order to love yourself. But then I'm not aware of a situation in which anyone has ever received absolutely no love from the entire human race. This guy does receive love, though, obviously. He is receiving love in these comments. He won't die if a woman never loves him, and his existence will still be worthwhile, in my opinion.

 

People indeed have worth outside of their romantic/sexual relationships. While it is true that external validation will boost our self confidence and feeling of self-worth, and that it is the primary source of validation during most of our youth, there also exists another source called internal validation. An intelligent, mature, healthy individual can draw from an internal source of validation even when the external isn't available. When you factor in the cultural and biological influence on perception you begin to see a much wider, flexible definition of human value, bigger than any one found in any single culture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xrp0zJZu0a4

There is also something called 'Socratic beauty', which is the origin of natural beauty, with subsequently alters/influences cultural perception of worth.

 

It seems to me people often tend to either belittle or exaggerate this topic of conversation.
You're exaggerating it, lol. You know it's not like that.

You're right, though by default that most people have experienced love. That proves my point, though... that the ability to love yourself came from having these other experiences with love. Do you honestly think that someone who has never experienced love would love themselves? And what I mean by love is also acceptance and positive psychosocial interactions, such as people liking you, wanting you as a friend, family member, etc.

Point is that I think every time you have an experience in which someone loves you then you love yourself more, just like you would love yourself less when you experience someone not loving you. I think for most people, it's a happy balence of being accepted and rejected, love and unloved. But, for some people it's not that happy balance. Some people get accepted and loved more than they ever got rejected and unloved. Same thing with people who have been unaccepted and unloved. It's more than the average person can handle. That's where the feeling of worthless comes in. Also, you don't know whether or not someone actually called the OP worthless. I know many people called me worthless over the years. Told me to go die because by their standards I wasn't suppose to be alive. That can also contribute to the feeling/thought/being of worthlessness. You don't know how the OP was treated to due to their looks. I know I was treated badly over the years because of mine. Same thing, that can contribute.

Again, you're right... everyone gets love, but it's not the same type or level of love.

On another point, I really don't believe in rock bottom, the be-all-end-all, etc. Life never has an end point, unless you're talking about death, which we don't even know if that is truely the end. Basically, life always can get worse, and for some people it does get worse.

On a final note, there is no love in this thread. Come on, lol. For all we know, the OP is trolling.

 

Beautifully put...and so true. I ran out of likes for today, so you got my praise instead....

 

I agree with that. And it's beautifully put. But, again it's putting too much praise on the individual, when it's a balance.It's about being able to find validation within yourself after you had a big fight with your "bae", but also being able to go to friends and family that would validate you too.

It's a societal thing for people to think they have done EVERYTHING on their own. Individualism is just the most important thing to a lot of people.

 

Shiiiiiaaat nigga. You lay down the cash for that rail ride and I'll sit there next to ya like whuuuuu????

 

I did not watch the video....but his words that seeking inner validation struck a true cord with me. there have been many times in my life....where the only validation I could find was from myself....and it took inner strength, searching and seeking....
Sure, a kind , genuine word from someone is very nice, to have, too....I am not denying that.

 

No, I've always loved myself more.

 

Looking for outside validation is what always makes us feel like shit. Yeah I can go on and preach "love yourself more' but when you feel ugly you just ARE UGLY. I wouldn't give a fuck about it to be honest. I had a hot bod, good looks, nice hair, blah blah but was still used by men. Now I am butt ugly and fat trolling the internet for online sex. Not how I pictured my life but whatever. Unless you're after "tail" then I understand why you care about what people think, but honestly, fuck em, who needs em. Get yourself a nice career, nice place, and just jerk off the internet like most people do anyway.

Cheers!

 

Fat is a personal choice, at age 54 I decided not to be fat, and now at age 60 I'm totally ripped (but unfortunately still aged 60).
That was down from over 90Kg, to 75Kg ....... waist down from 42" to less than 32" .... I look better now than I did 30 years ago.

 

Very true. I'll stay fat. My personal choice.

More ho ho's for me (Not Santa's)

 

Boi, you got life all figured out.
I sure as hell don't.

All I know is that all this... what is happening right now is meaningless. Tomorrow, the day after that, and so on will be the same. It's all meaningless. My life, who I am is meaningless. I'm worthless, and everything about me is worthless. It's because everyday is a struggle. Lol, I'm thinking of that song that says, "Everyday I'm sparkling". I guess it's like that. Some people have a life that sparkles, or better yet sparkles more than goes dim. While my life goes dim more than sparkles. It's the the big things like being harassed on the bus the other day because of my looks. And the little things too, like being insulted in a thread I made. It's everything. Basically, there is more negativity in my life than positivity. And I only have so much self validation, reliance, and the thrive to survive. On top of that, I'm not getting enough from others to "recharge" for lack of being wording my own inner strength. So, all in all... i'm fucked. It's either keep living this shithole, or die. Which odds are, I'll die. I know myself. I'm going to kill myself when enough is enough. It's my only choice.

 

You gotta change stuff ........ nobody will do it for you.
Everything seemed bad for me at age 52, being fat and unhealthy, the love of my life divorcing me and sleeping with the gardener, losing my house, losing access to my children, being chased around by the police.
You gotta decide not to put up with the stuff you don't like and change things. Everything is possible with the will to do it.

Plenty of good stuff to do which doesn't involve 'face to face' with other people.
Cycling, running, swimming, cooking, reading, tv, movies, internet, online gaming to name just a few.

Don't like showing your face?, pretend to be Muslim and wear a Burka ..... or personal air filter ......
If you live in a cold climate, hoody and scarf.

 

Agh, fat people. I hate when people who are fat try to relate to me being deformed. Or worse, someone that isn't fat talking about being fat, and relating that to me. Or even worse, a totally beautiful woman... and men (It had happened) trying to relate their insecurities about their looks to me being deformed.

First of all, I'm not fucking insecure about my looks. Don't get me wrong, I am fucking insecure. But, not about that. I'm completely fine with how I look. It's everyone else. History has never been kind to people with deformities. So, this isn't just about feeling ugly and having that insecurity. It's about discrimination, prejudice, and thinking anyone that has deformities or really looks different being lesser than. For a good two years or so, I was a shut-in because I was scared to go outside due to the harassment. Because sometimes it's downright fucking scary how some of you people are. And if Trump screws up everything, and we have a falling of infrastructure, and we go to civil war... I will be one of the groups of people that gets lynched. Well, more like ganged raped and then hung. And no, that joke that women who are ugly want to get raped because they never get any and now they are is not true.

I wholeheartedly respect and I guess to some extend understand anyone that has insecurities involving their looks. But, I'm not one of them.

 

Like I said, you have it all figured out. But, I do like that you mentioned being chased around by the police. It's shit like that, that happens to me pretty much on the daily. Not that I have ever been chased around by the police. But, you know those weird ass shitty things that only happen to a rare few. Like if you were to make a thread about it, no one would believe you and they all will think you're trolling. That kind of stuff. It's not normal shit like you breaking up with your longterm partner and starting over. You figuring out what you will do with your life, career wise. It's fucking weird ass horrible ass events that carry out in my life. It's completely good people doing something horrible to me, but they're nice to everyone else. It's police involvement due to someone else doing something wrong, not particularly me. Unless, you count that one time I went to mall jail for shoplifting, but other than that I have never been involved with the police. It's physical and/or mental abuse. It's terrible things.

Enough is enough at a certain point. People even fucking joke that I have a cloud over my head that follows me, or "It only happens to..." insert my real name" Fuck, who cares? My name is Cynthia. There. I doubt you guys will do anything I haven't already dealt with. Not that I think you guys would. But, you know.

 

Nothing wrong with Cyn .......... at least it's original.

 

Go fuck yourself.

Lol, I have a habit of insulting someone AS A JOKE when I get a compliment. It's so bad. I need to just stop with that shit. I've never had anyone get upset with me, because usually when I'm insulting them I act playfully, so they know I'm not actually insulting them. I have done it online as well, and the person just knows that I'm playing around because we were fine just a second ago, so why would I just suddenly insult them? Basically, they have the logic to know that I'm joking, because no one is that bipolar. Not even people who have bipolar are that bipolar. So, the reason isn't because I have gotten in accidental arguements with people. It's just I watched this video about how women never accept a compliment. They don't outright insult people like my weird ass does. But, they usually will disagree with the compliment in some way, like say that it's only the dress that makes them look so good, point out something "ugly" about themselves when you call them beautiful, etc. And even though my issues aren't the same as a typical woman, the video resonate with me. It actually made me cry, Because they're so many beautiful women, both on the inside and out. And they don't realize how beautiful they are, and how powerful they are because of their beauty. There was another video, I think it was actually a commercial in which it showed all these women running away or hiding from pictures, while little girls love to have their photo taken. That also made me cry for the same reasons. Woman don't need to think that they're hot, and constantly take pictures of themselves to show off. I just wish women knew how beautiful they are. Beauty isn't being hot or sexy. It doesn't need to go on display, and it's everlasting, so it doesn't need to be preseved. Beauty is power and light. But, so many women and men don't see that. Anyways, I don't know.