Being a guy who doesn't get girls

You said it yourself you didn't want to have anything to do with this thread anymore. You said it was going in circles, and that you didn't want to see my pictures.

Okay, then fuck off. There's no need to hang around and keep being a rude little asshole to me with all your little sarcastic stabs and insults.

You also seem to be out of tune with what other people think, though you seem to think you speak for everyone. When you said "we aren't interested in seeing your photos", you obviously didn't speak for everyone. There were more people who wanted to see them then who didn't want to. Then you said nobody sympathized with my situation. Again, I think you're only speaking for yourself. Not that I'm trying to get people to feel sorry for me, I'm just pointing out that you seem to be an asshole who thinks everybody agrees with him when he makes a rude insult towards another person. So you fucking off gets my vote.

 

The question is OP, are you looking for a 10/10? But you don’t feel you’re remotely a 10/10? That seems to be the case with many people in general. They want a man/woman who is physically hot, super successful and has an amazing personality but they don’t offer any of that, themselves. Because truth is, there is someone for everyone but maybe your expectations aren’t realistic.

 

i support this message. when in doubt, do whatever the fuck you want and give zero fucks.

 

Actually that's not even remotely the case. Great personality is much more attractive to me than a hot girl with the personality of a toaster. Of course, I have my ideas of what makes a girl physically attractive, but it's not necessarily the supermodel look (whom I usually never find very attractive). I'd say my standards are very reasonable.

 

Okay. Well, my best guess is that your self-defeatist attitude shines through, so it's probably ruining your chances of getting the attention of some women, without you even realizing it. It is hard to change, but if you work on that part of yourself, you might start having better success with attracting women. I think it's your own attitude that's in your way right now.

 

Where I work I see extremely gorgeous girls all the time. For a second, I'll look at them and think God I wish I could do x y and z with them, but then I quickly realize that I don't think I would be happy with any of them. Most of them seem very high maintenance, and very shallow, and very not fun to be with for the long-haul. I get the vibe that I could be myself around them. I think I would be miserable with most of them. I'm looking for a girl that knocks my socks off personality-wise.

 

Well, most women want that, too. Not a guy who thinks the worst of himself, and she constantly needs to build him up. That can be tiring. I think your main problem is your view of the situation, you seem to think that most guys have all the luck, and that you're just not lucky. Once you stop watching life go by, and actually change your thinking about yourself and take some risks, you'll see your dating life change. For the better. Good luck to you, though. I hope you find happiness.

 

Ok........What's stopping you from posting your picks then?

 

post pics, OP

 

You guys are too much.

 

aha! there's the spirit and the spunk. Fight, boy. fight back. and the first target... your first enemy - your self-loathing.

Look, you talk about bad genes and inability to find a mate - I'm going to call bs. Don't get your hackles up yet, son. Here's why - in high school, I knew a guy named Richey. Severe hydrocephaly, rickets, scoliosis and severe dermatitis. I'm gonna be frank.. he looked like he'd been legit mangled through a combine. He married one of my exgirlfriends, who happened to be a leather fetish model, even (so way out of 'everybody's' so called league) - because despite how he looked, and the problems he had, he didn't let it bring him down for long. He had his low moments, and with an IQ literally on par with Forrest Gump, he had reason to be, but he said it best when he said 'I'ma ugly, and I ain't too bright. Must be God thought I was badass enough for hard mode'. Side note, they've been together for ten years, and still going.

You can do the same. I mean fuck, Danny Devito gets laid, and he damn sure ain't a prize either. Ok, so you've got some troubles.. Did you know that scarred or deformed animals that survive into adulthood tend to have a /better/ chance of mating, because their survival DESPITE their handicaps actually says 'I'm a tough motherfucker, I've survived all this, and I'm still sucking air. My offspring'll survive too.' It's like the feral cats I often rescue. they're usually runts, abandoned by their mother, weak, sickly, etc.. and more often than note, when they mature, they are the biggest and strongest badass bastards I've ever seen. Almost every one of them got strong, and got tough. You've known adversity, you've known the cold bite of failure and what comes with it. Bite back. Fight.

Here's the philosophy of it - do what you can with what you've got. do you have jacked teeth? fine, polish those fuckers. I can guarantee that along your family line before you, there were people on both sides that you'd look at and go 'how in the fuck did you ever get laid?' but they did.

And here's a piece of advice that nobody's given, and it's probably gonna make me unpopular here - but your need to hear it means more than whether people here like me or not. I've got plenty of people that wish me ill anyway, so what's a few more?

Go see a psychiatrist about your depression. Seriously. That one factor alone is one of your biggest enemies, because it's too easy to listen to the self-loathing bullshit your mind can crap up on your doorstep. Take it from someone who was emotionally in the same place as you years ago. You may or may not have to use medication, you may or may not need therapy, but its your enemy.

"The asshole that causes the most trouble in my life watches me brush his teeth in the morning." Seriously. You can be your own best friend, or your own worst enemy. You can lay down and die, which you're finding isn't working so well, is it? Or you can get up, dust yourself off and say 'What /can/ I do?'. Focus on that. You 'can' perform as a functional human being, you 'do' have a job, you 'do' have friends and social connections.

Figure out your interests and do the shit that 'you' enjoy. You've got the right as a human being to exist. Fuck what anyone else says. And I'm gonna say this point blank. You deserve to be happy. Forget all this shit about being 'not good enough' or it being 'morally wrong' for you to be with someone. Fuckin Hitler had a girlfriend. Charlie Manson? he did too. They're far more morally bankrupt than you could ever be. So knock that shit off.

I'm gonna make this short from this point on. Your looks ain't what's holding you back, son. It's your attitude. Your outlook on life. You can fix it, or you can sit there in the same misery you have been.

It's a quote from bojack horseman.


true af.

my source for all this? having lived it myself. grit your teeth, and fucking HOWL, boy!

 

I don't want to change or turn my life around. The ship has sailed. I'm done with it. I just want to detach from the world and live off the radar.

I'm unworthy of women. I'm not a "real man". I see "real men" every day. They're with women. Women do not look at me that way. They simply don't. That's just the way it is.

The idea of me being with women just doesn't seem right. I'm not meant to do it. It's just not something I'm supposed to do. I'll die a virgin. That's just the facts. That's the way it should be.

 

Even if I wanted to, it's too late. I have NO prior experience. Everyone my age has been through NUMEROUS relationships, had tons of sex, likely have been married even, and many have kids. I'm so behind the curve that it would be impossible to make up for it all. And the women out there who are inexperienced like me are almost certainly undesirables like me who would make terrible mates. It's a shit world, full of shit. I don't want to live in it anymore.

 

Then that's all you'll ever be. It's a shame you still have a lot of potential, and you're throwing it all away just because you're pretty much, and constantly and consistently, hypnotizing yourself into believing otherwise.

But, it's your choice. You've made it. Might as well rock that new style then.

 

Girls don't seem to like me either, and I'm okay with it. Why and how, though, I'm not sure.

I guess after everything I've seen I'm just not that impressed with or fascinated by women any more. The thrill is gone, the mystery is deceased. I barely have a sex drive left. None of these things bother me, though, and I don't know how to tell you how to not let it bother you so much. Maybe it helps to know there are others of us out here like you.

Which do you think it is, though, women have no interest in you or you have no interest in women? Not calling you gay. Like me, for instance, for the most part they just don't live up to my standards. I have high standards. The last time I was so interested in a girl that I wanted to actually go up and ask her out was many, many years ago.

 

and that's the long and short of it. and it's because you're lazy. It's hard to change. it's easy to sit back in a pool of self-pity and despair and say 'I'm not worthy'

I did it for about a decade. So let me clue you in - 'real men' as you call them are not born. They're made. Through experience. Through adversity. Through getting their shit kicked in til they're puking blood.

For it being 'too late'. Son, I just turned forty, and I'm not thrilled with my current state of dry crotch and empty bed, but it's not gonna last forever. I can guarantee you there /are/ women that look at you that way. You've smeared so much shit in your own face about how you're loathsome and horrible, you don't see it, and you're being a selfish ass.

But hey, in about ten yours when you've grown up a bit and you quit being a petulant child (because you actually are. you're just here to bitch and whine, and not actually willing to do a thing about it) you'll look back on this and cringe.

I'm just trying to save you the ten years or so of bullshit I had to go through - because 15, 20 years ago, I could have written all this. all the 'I suck, I'm horrible, I'm useless, worthless, blah blah blah.'

and see, I know your dirty secret - you're doing it because you /want/ attention. you want people to talk you out of it. But you're being the penultimate in selfishness. You're refusing to take care of yourself and your own needs, in this case psychological.. in the hopes someone else will step up and take care of them for you. That's a childish thing. And it's beneath you.

Bandage your own booboos, boy. Gather your dignity, and stand.

Or don't.

See, if you were willing to actually /try/ (and in line with that, fail a few times as an obvious matter of course) I'd be willing to stand with you and help you.

But you're not willing, and not my place to force you to change your mind. That doesn't mean I'm obliged to stand with you, or help you.

You're capable of so much, but as it sits now, you're a toxic little psychic vampire of a person. You're a total drag and a total downer. You talk about how much shit is wrong in your life, - hey, fine, everybody needs a bitchfest now and again, but you have to be the one to fix it, and if you don't, who will?

no girl's gonna read your crap and go for you out of pity, and if you want to get into the dickswinging contest of 'who's got it worse' I can easily win.

I was born to a mother that has all the maternal instinct of a rabid stoat, born a boy, which was failure one.. not the perfect little girl she wanted, I was also blamed for not saving her marriage, because she cheated on my legal father and got knocked up (3 yeas after he'd had a vasectomy because he didn't wanna be trapped with batshit crazy histrionic martyrdom) I have celiac, rheumatoid arthritis (since I was 13), I was supposed to have been dead by twelve by my own immune system. my own mother ran over me when I was 8. I was the genius kid in school that everybody fucking hated. I was bullied by my FRIENDS. constantly physically attacked by my enemies, to which every. single. adult. turned a blind fucking eye. I didn't date until I was 22. oh, I lost my virginity when I was 10, though, because my 'best friend' got me drunk and sodomized me until my asshole bled for a fucking week, but my first consensual sexual experience was when I was 23.. and it was shit because, turns out, she was fucking my best 'friend' too. I've been shot, stabbed, struck by lightning, had baseball bat beatings, fallen off a 60' rock face, drowned twice, survived pneumonia, scarlet fever and MRSA cum sepsis, where I coded out twice on the operating table while they were clearing the infection pockets, I'm ugly as fucking sin (I look like old man Kratos, but chubbier. I'm working on changing that) I'm jobless, (currently a college student just to get a skill and get some money in) single, and have three people I'm in constant contact with enough to call friends. one is my roommate, one lives in kuwait, the other lives in england. because of my specialized diet, I smell. bad. like 'meat and predator'. I live in constant pain in my joints and muscles, I'm an ex pill-head, (at one point I had a thousand dollar a week oxy habit. I wasted nearly a year of my life and 50 grand on that.) and opiates do fuckall for me anymore anyway. The only thing that does anything at all is pot, and I live in one of the most draconian states in the US for it.

you sit here and whine like your problems are the end-all and be all, and you're worthless as a human being because of them? no.. you're /making/ yourself worthless because of your attitude. something you 'do' have some control over. You're not being ignorant. you're being /stupid/

Ignorance means you simply don't know any better, and that's easily forgiven, because anyone can learn. Stupidity is knowing there's something better and refusing to engage it, or learn. It's willful, self-inflicted ignorance.

And I've wasted all the time I care to on you. I offered help and advice to someone who obviously /happy/ wallowing in his own misery and self-pity, I've done my social obligation in the attempt. I say /happy/ because you keep throwing up reasons you're not interested in changing. as you said you 'don't want to'

then don't. But don't expect sympathy either. I offered empathy, because I know how fucking tough it is, and you rejected it and veritably spt in my face, so I'm giving you back a whuff of dragonfire in yours.

Anything that happens is up to you. It always has been. I just tried to give you a little hope, but now I don't care if you're mocked or shamed, because you have, indeed, brought it upon yourself, and i have zero patience for someone whose life is objectively several orders of magnitude better than mine bitches about how horrible they have it.

Until you've hunted rats and pigeons and camped in a dumpster because you're homeless, you don't get to bitch to me that it's horrible. You have a home, and a family. You have a job and friends. You have the possibility of a social group instead of crippling social anxiety and ptsd that keeps you awake at night because otherwise it's either neverending nightmares, or dreams of being in relationships, of being loved and accepted as a human being that you would quite honestly rather die than wake up from.

In short - fix it or be silent about it. those are your options. If your'e going to bitch, at least have the courtesy to the rest of us with our own struggles in life to /try/. Because we are, and you're not a special snowflake that's exempt from that.

Git gud, scrub.

 

Why is it that it's wrong to say any girl is not a "real woman" (feminism) but we can just throw about "real man" like it's nothing? All men are real men. You have a dick, you're a real man. You're gay, you're a real man. You're straight and women don't like you, you're a real man.

My only standard for someone NOT being a "real" man or woman? Talking about what constitutes a real man or woman. If you were so secure in your masculinity or feminity you wouldn't need it to be bolstered by such bullshit.

 

Not the way I view it. "Real men" possess particulr traits that make them desirable to women, and vital in life. They have certain looks, confidence, and are usually strong. They don't necessarily have to be good-looking. They just have a "way" about them. I do not have that. I've got the strangest, ugliest looks, I'm weak, I'm stupid, and it's impossible for women to like me.

 

None of which makes you "not a real man." I've got news for you, men have been through all of this shit a million times before. They lived hard lives and went to their graves. Sometimes sex-crazed egomaniacs, sometimes virgins. But to strip them of their status as "men," especially when many of them sacrificed so much for others, is sacrilege.