bein suicidal n wishin ya was dead

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by dilligaf, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. dilligaf

    dilligaf Banned

    is there a difference tween the two ?
    are they just one and the same?
    can ya just wish ya didnt exist n not be suicidal?
     
  2. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    I think they're totally different. I've been really mad or upset about something and wish I was dead, but have no desire at all to take my own life. So yeah, they're different.
     
  3. turnthepage

    turnthepage Member

    no difference at all. both are immature mindsets of spoiled brats scared of life and responsibilty.
     
  4. dilligaf

    dilligaf Banned

    mmmm not really meanin a just wish i was dead moment but a constant life long wish ya was dead,,,,

    n is that depression as society labels it or is it just something more like survival of the fittest and bein where we are in the world today,, these folks somehow manage to survive where as in earlier days n times they wouldnt have
     
  5. dilligaf

    dilligaf Banned

    ah turn i spose i hafta somewhat agree there ,,,, that some folks just have different mindsets and think on different levels and plain dont wanna face life head on and take responsibility and make themselves a victim,,, for by doing so it removes oneself froma ll responsibility and decision makin
     
  6. old_crone

    old_crone Super Moderator Super Moderator

    I stood before the looking glass and asked the Devil why she did the things she did. She looked at me with such love and purity and replied , “Someone needed to play this role.”

    Then I stood before the looking glass and asked God why she did the things she did. She looked back with such love and purity and replied, “Someone had to play this role.”

    I have become my own heavens, and hells, and the roles I play are asking me to find my truth inside, and to be one inside the whole. This is where hope and love are. When we choose to Be in our center, and not just inside the roles we play.
     
  7. dilligaf

    dilligaf Banned

    but for some is it a choice??? i used to be very firm in the belief that it WAS a choice to play roles and now i dunno ... maybe it is just me and questioning oneself

    old crone,,,,, iffin yer still here..... what this all gets down to n mebbe you would be able to grasp where i am coming from...
    when a person wishes they was dead, to me that is like they no longer have any spirit or soul almost to them,,,, and me,,,, tis like they are a walkin body and no matter what is done they aint happy , cant or choose not to be happy,,,, and therefore it makes it hard to deal with since no matter what is done it just dont matter,,,, almost like they are in essence draining me of my own energy by just being in their presence,,, vampirical in a strange sense... and i know that one cant drain without allowing it,,, but in an everyday situation where you live with a person like that,,,, how do we block against it and work toward something positive ,,,, even though the person doesnt really care cuz they have no desire to be alive in the first place
     
  8. no there is no difference, i just wish people wouldnt mope around saying that their going to kill themselves for sympathy
     
  9. old_crone

    old_crone Super Moderator Super Moderator

    I do understand. I have been there. As a child huddled in chains broken body, spirit, and soul. As a woman who woke in intensive care with a broken neck, and finding her life forever changed again, and her heart left alone without even her children to hold. As a friend where your trust was used not treasured, and you felt that familiar slide into the "Nothingness" that screams inside you.

    I have heard the words, "Just get over IT, this is the way things are." Asking where the hell is the love and the compassion. Where is the saving grace. Yes their is a difference between wanting to be dead, and not wanting to exist. Does not mean one will take the action to make either happen, just means we are facing places inside of us that strip us of our shells asking us to go deeper in the quest for what living, and dying means.

    Some times you play little games in your own head, and heart until you can start to see the light again. Sometimes you forget how to [play these words out, and forget how to save yourself. Sometimes you just need to try long before the feelings catch up as to why.

    The only real help, and healing must come from within a person, as anything outside is like putting a bandaide on a festering boil. Someday the wound will again open asking have we really faced who we are. Can we live with the choices we make, and are we seeking the cowards or victims path, or looking for the courage to begin again. No one including love can save us from ourselves. We are who, and what we make of the experiences, and lessons we draw our way.

    Someone once told me I just did not need to be where the energy was if I was not happy. Tried that, and like the bandaide the energy always made me want to fear its coming. Then not long ago I stood in a crowded bar where my daughter was bar tending, and watched the dance of energy as if the deeper magic was not in the fearing of the energy, but of embracing my own light so that truth would speak for itself.

    So I came home inside, and went back to face the chains, the pain, and the expectations of the trust I had built around me. Yes their are those who make a conscious choice to give up on themselves. Yes their are those moments when the spirit is broke, and yes their is the moments when escape seems preferable to facing the moments where we are standing. The truth is we will come again, and again to these places until we learn to heal the small self, and reach inside the higher self for the reason we are here at all.

    Where we let our thought dwell, how we speak inside our own hearts, and heads, and what actions we search out, or seek to be a part of is a choice. The wisdom comes from not fearing, not getting attached emotionally, no being co-dependent, and learning to embrace that we are spirit having a human experince that will take everything we are with no promises, and allow us to grow into what we choose to become. Some come through with the nature, and past baggage and will hit replay again, and again in their lives until they come around the moments, and others will learn to shape shift the energy, and move beyond what they have always known finding a courage in the BEING. This is where our center is.

    I have also stood in the light of hope. Stood in the center of purity, and love, and embraced the making love to the energy of spirit while becoming love. I have watched myself change inside my own steps, and been willing to let go of all that seemed real so that I might Be real inside, and true to me. I found trust must come from within, and the healing must come from wanting above all things to be whole. I have walked, crawled and cried beyond tears up the spirals that took me higher into the essence of wonders, and places I never dreamed. I just put a post in old crones place titled Remember the Dance. Sometimes we foregt the walls around us are not there to stay.

    We become our own islands as we embrace other lands with the courage, and adventure not to the quiting, but to the beginning again. Only the individual can ride that ship to new shores. Thats when we find we were never alone just wandering Spirits enjoying the connections we made along the way without fear, but with honoring what we sought to learn from the opportunity before us. We are lights in a sometimes dark place not the dark in the light of things. How we see matters to the heart and spirit. Yes there is a difference.
     
  10. shameless_heifer

    shameless_heifer Super Moderator Super Moderator

    When your wishing that you are dead you are hiding from yourself, your ashamed for something you have done or said, subconsciously. When you wish to be dead you are bringing death closer to you then you know. As you put it out to the universe you put it in motion to happen by mearly wishing it in to exsistance.
    There are some people that can't deal with winter and get the blues, some to the brink of insanity. They feel caged or traped from lack of sunlight, some feel like crying as the weather drips with rain and turns cold. Most of the time it's from a nutritional deficientcy, lacking in vitamin C, and the B's.
    You may benefit from a liver cleanse to break up stagnat energies blocking you from you harmonic flow.Try sitting under a sun lamp for a few minutes a day. Do some streching and breathing excersizes. Train your Brain.
    To speak the word is to put in motion the event. Try some recomformation verses. For freedom from bondage: I cast this burden on the Christ within, and I go free.
    For Faith: As I am One with God, I am One with my good, for God is both the giver and the gift, I cannot seperate the giver from the gift.
    For the right Condition: Divine Love now disolves and dissipates every wrong condition in my mind, body and affairs. Divine Love is the most powerful chemical in the universe and dissolves everything that is not it'self.
    Try putting your mind in the place you'd like to be in the most, think of yourself being there and having joy. Saying your joyful will bring joy to you, saying your unhappy will bring unhappiness to you. Again these are choices you make for yourself. If you know you could move mountains with the spoken word, you'd be careful what you said, same goes here. You think doom and gloom and you will become doom and gloom. Change your way of thinking, think of good things and find love in everything and don't lose your sence of humor. Tell yourself you are perfect and live in a perfect way, soon you will be, if you stick to it. I promise this will be so If it's God Will, and it is Gods Will for us to be happy and have what we need in abundance.
    If you Don't believe in God then you have no faith and that is what plauges you and bring you to thoughts of death, for a world with no faith is a doomed world with no love and who wants to live in a world with no love. Love yourself and be loved, give what you want to recive. You make your own circumstances. Paint a brighter picture and you will feel brighter. We are love Love is All. You can move mountains if you choose. Brightest Blessing and know you are loved.
     
  11. very very different. you can wish you are dead because maybe you think the next world will be better then this one or something but not be suicidal at all.
     

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