Been married two monrhs to my hubby and we still haven't had sex....

So my husband and i got married a little over two month ago well he was/is a virgin well anywho we still haven't had sex yet he says he is scared and worried and just nervous and doesn't feel comfortable for some reason. It isn't like i haven't seen him naked or anything so i don't know why he is so scared about having sex granted he is only 24 but i have never heard of any guy doing this before. I am just really unsure what to do and i am not sure how to approach him about this. He works out a lot and we waited for marriage because he is a Christian. Has anyone dealt with this before? Advice? We have gotten as far as oral and then it stops.... He isn't circumcised. And another thing we always seem to fall asleep together but when i wake up in the morning he is on the couch for some reason.

 

can't read his mind but I would think there is something on his mind that he is having a hard time with.

I am a survivor or sexual abuse and from my past I want to do anything to please my woman because my "abuser" made me do that to her. I wasn't allowed to "finish" and it's made me who I am today. I can have sex without orgasm and it doesn't bother me.

You need to sit him down and talk about it. If you guys have done oral then you know if it works for him but I'd say he is hiding something important.

 

It could be something like what mudlife said.

And also, I really hope you don't take this as an insult or that I'm trying to be mean in any way or what not because I'm not.... But just wanna say the first thought that went through my head when I read your post was... "He's gay".... more specific the long thought was "He's gay and he married you because he's a christian and feels bad/guilt about it and would like it not to be true..."

In any case, of course it may not be that. Just an idea.
If I were you I'd be talking to him yesterday.... last month... you get the point. Tell him you want to be understanding and he can talk to you about anything but that this is not normal and he's gonna have to work w you and tell you what is going on. Tell him you will help him w it but you cannot do so if he does not tell you what is going on. And how you waited for him because of his faith but that you've been married two month and this is past ridiculous now so he NEEDS to talk to you now!!

 

I know he isn't gay. Will try talking to him again. I don't know if he was abused or not I could ask his twin sister I suppose.

 

Yeah... I think maybe he's gay. If he is 24 and has never had sex before, it is fairly odd that he didn't rip your dress off on the way to the hotel room on your wedding night.

You need to have a serious talk with him, and maybe get some couples therapy if you can't figure it out on your own.

 

An uncircumcised Christian...will wonders never cease...
Must be a convert...previously Muslim perhaps?

 

Only Jews circumcise.........

 

I texted his twin sister she said he was molested at a young age. But I am no expert so i don't know how that could affect him honestly.

 

So do Muslims, not sure if it is something done in all sects of Islam or not. A lot of Christians, especially in the US, are circumcised as well.

 

If this isn't a troll post and you're telling the truth, his sister is a total piece of shit for sharing that knowledge with someone. Also, the fact that you aren't aware of this does not bode well for your relationship.

 

I totally agree.

Those are the types of things that if you know them about someone you don't tell other people. If anything his sister should have told you (the op, obviously) that you should talk to him or something.

 

seduce him?

 

I second this. I've seen it in real life. A friend of mine from school tried to become straight because of his church. His parents pressured him to get a girlfriend and get married (I am friends with his ex also). He didn't have sex in school or after marriage. He literally destroy his ex when he finally admitted he was gay. She feels that a lot of years of her life were wasted.

Btw, his parents wouldn't let him move back home because he came out of the closet.

 

I guess his parents didn't want to.

No troll but it seems like you contradicted yourself his Sister is an awful person for telling me this,then my relationship is bad because i didn't know about it. Interesting

 

Uum, no, most American Christians are circumcised.

 

I'm confused as to what him being or not being circumsized even has to do with ANYTHING and why it was brought up anyways....



And also just because it does not bode well that he didn't wanna talk to you about any abuse.... that doesn't mean it was the sister's place to tell.
If anything, what she should have done was... if you came to her expressing concern, she could have instead mentioned to him that she thinks he should have a talk with you about things and open up to you himself.

 

Yep.

That shit happens more often than some people would think.

What made me think that with this thread was specifically that he is that much of a christian... that into his faith in a literal sense to wait to have sex until marriage. There are some devout christians who do that.... but I'll tell you that the straight ones, the ones who are straight and wait until marriage....they aren't still waiting two months after marriage.

 

I didn't want to leave anything out while seeking advice.

That is just a topic that hasn't ever come up. And I had no reason to even suspect anything wrong.

 

Well, yea, and if his sister was being honest it's something he may not want to talk about... but, I happen to be pretty certain that if someone holds something like that in and never shares it with at least someone (when they're older) it has a way of festering. Without going into any details of my own about who and what I will say that I've had someone share something with me before that they had never told anyone....ever, not as a child OR as an adult. And I could see it benefited them to finally talk to someone about it. Often it esp. goes against men's instincts (for lack of a better term!) to talk about things like that, but it's unhealthy not to.

 

Don't even know where to go with that now that i know honestly. He is closer to his twin sister then just about anyone except me.