BDSM getting started

Just to echo what @Captain Scarlet said, as someone who enjoys this lifestyle, there are common misconceptions about BDSM that people think it has to include pain and spankings. It can, and yes I enjoy that too, but it doesn't have to. It can just be about submission and restraint and control, and sex acts both people will enjoy, with little or no pain. I enjoy this a lot too. A blindfold and cuffs are a great place to get started, using anything suitable (e.g. a tie, scarf) for cuffs if you don't have any.

 

I agree. Growing up I thought BDSM was all about pain and bondage. I've used blindfolds for a long time, as part of submissive role play, but at the time never considered that to be BDSM. So I guess there is a broad list of acts that fall underneath the BDSM umbrella. After getting into bondage and spanking, I realized then I was a practitioner, but now I guess I've been into BDSM for quite a while.

 

Where or how did you meet her?

 

I want to try Brazilian waxing not for the result but for the experience. Would that count as a bdsm starter experience

 

After our kids moved away, my wife and I had a conversation about expanding our sex life. We both began by talking about fantasies we may have had (or still do), but had not discussed them with each other. Rules were set that we could bring up almost anything without the other person making any type of judgement comments. Severe pain, potty stuff, etc were off limits. We even drew low card to see who would go first.

She 'won' and began relating her fantasy of being chased down, caught, stripped, and tied up in front of a group of men and then forced to have sex with them. While this was an extreme turn on for her, she also stated that the reality of that fantasy would be way too intense, but would like to incorporate some of the elements into our play time. As MasseurNatural stated above,

and this was her starting point. We planned out a scenario involving just her and me in our backyard. It went so well that she has expanded it to include more of the BDSM aspect.

Once she realized that this type of activity is not all about pain, whips, and spankings (as many others previously stated) it became more comfortable for her. She is the one who now requests us to go further and comes home with new devices to try out. She related to me that what helped her so much were my affirmations about how trust and communication has made our activities so incredibly erotic and sexually charged.

 

why would anyone want to be punished for having sex. I thought sex was enjoyable,

 

It isnt .

That is actually a misconception often associated by Media Hype .

BDSM is basically the introduction of any form of accessory into the bedroom . This can be in the form of a simple blindfold designed to highten the other senses especially touch .

 

right, but I like to see what I'm doing and also see what is being done to me,

 

There are other activities as well

Ticking feather
Food play
Ice play
Wax play
restraining
Role play
Using toys ................................................

Basically anything other than vanilla sex ( sex without accessories)

 

Is DDLG and Femdom considering beginner?

 

The former is not something I would want to encourAGE

The latter can be done as beginners as its a nice change for the woman take control of the bedroom

 

Agree with both comments. Other (older) age role-play can also be fun. Plenty of experience of FemDom, great for role-reversal role-play, adds a whole new dimension to BDSM.

 

running ice cubes and blindfold her is a good start. you have to talk to her first what you like and perhaps watch some porn or go to a sex shop and you will find out.... Have fun

 

hello captain
i don’t know how to message yet unless i get one i have alot of questions and u maybe just the person to ask
Angel

 

My intro to BDSM was with a very intelligent and beautiful woman who unfortunately had been sexually abused by a "trusted friend" of her family when she was a child. We loved each other, but she would seize up if she approached having an orgasm during a "normal" sexual experience.

She needed to maintain control. So, I let her dominate me. This often involved her being dressed, and me ending up naked and following her instructions about how we would proceed. That way she could control the pace of stimulation she was receiving.

The first time under these rules, she instructed me from a distance of 6 feet in her living room to take off all my clothes, fold them, place them on a chair, lay down on the polished concrete floor, and masturbate in front of her to completion while she sat in a chair observing. After some initial inhibition on my part, I finally was able to drop my self consciousness, appreciate this power dynamic, and build up to an orgasm so strong that it left streaks of semen on her floor, with me laying there panting and flushed.

After my breathing slowed down she calmly instructed me to clean up myself and her floor, get dressed, and go home. I followed all instructions but was not sure if she would ever call me again.

At the end of the next work week, she did call me. We continued a relationship that lasted for almost two years, going out on normal weekend dates, and ending many of those evenings with me ejaculating in a way that controlled the amount of stimulation she was receiving.

 

I want to try BDSM but want to find the right person. Need direction.

 

Sounds like fun!

 

Start slowly and mild. It worked for us. Blindfolds, toys, tied spread eagle to the bed with a blindfold and noise canceling headphones. Throw in some ice play and candle wax! Just no spanking.

 

Only time I tied my girlfriend up spread eagle. Was to give her oral until she couldn't stand it any more. The torture was making her wait for me to slide my dick in her.