Sex for us is just finally coming back after nearly 12 months as my partner is nearing the end of the change .During this time her appetite for sex has waned some what and I have been very patient and supportive towards her and with some help and advise from certain close female friend . So we as a couple will be starting again from the beginning and we will be having a safe word drill towards end of the week , hence this thread . This I will expand as I feel is necessary . So just a quick reminder of what BDSM is ,well what it means to me . BDSM is basically any other type of sex other than what is termed as Vanilla( plain) with the use of accessories . These accessories can be something as basic as a tickling feather . We like it as we decided to put fun into our bedroom sessions and in the past we have be very proactive Role Players. I think we are someway off that again at the moment but we will get thee again. On a scale of 1-20 with 20 being extreme. I would place us no more than a 5 . We like a bit of slap and tickle but nothing more extreme . We do 12 monthly surveys on each other to establish our boundaries and I will be doing a Thread on this subject in due course . With all this in mind we set up a safe word system based on a traffic light . This is very simple and is adopted by many . And works to my KISS principle The Safe words are therefore as follows RED =STOP immediately ,un restrain . This means something has gone wrong or the other person is having some difficulty . AMBER = Ease off ,you near my limit . The partner in this instance should ease off but not stop . If it gets too much then RED will normally follow . GREEN = Everything is Okay . I usually ask my partner infrequently and gives the reassurance as BDSM is all about Trust .
Other Safety tips for BDSM are as follows 1) Gags - I dont recommend the use of these in beginners . However experienced people will have some sort of hand signal or equivalent in place of the safe words 2) Under no circumstances leave your partner fully restrained and blindfolded and leave the room . This is very scary and dangerous . If you need to take a toilet break then free a hand of your partner before doing so 3) Never exceed your boundaries . 4) Never try something new without talking to your partner first. 5) If you have a new hitty implement such as a riding crop, try it on yourself first . If it hurts yuo then its going to do the same to your partner . 6) Make sure all implements,toys etc are fully cleaned with a proper toy cleaner before using them 7) If you have young children consider placing a bolt on your bedroom door ! 8) Something that is often overlooked . If you have thin walls with your neighbours ,just take care as regards noises etc. 9) if doing Anal ,make sure a douche session is done before hand . Remember The most important rule of all PLAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN
Great post. And very important for couples just beginning to experiment with bondage. In every day life I enjoy being in control of things. I like to think that I'm a good leader. So it feels so good for me to be able to mentally relax and not have to be in control. When it comes to sex, what makes bondage so very exciting for me is the ability to completely give away my body to my partner for his sexual pleasure with the knowledge that even though when I'm completely vulnerable, defenseless, and physically exposed, I'm in a safe place. That implies that my partner knows me well enough to be able to tell when my light is red, yellow, or green. That comes with practice and getting to know your partner.
