Avoiding people

kokujin is just bitter that girls don't text him back.

 

A cell phone doesn't have to be a leash. PR said he put his phone on airplane mode so I don't think he ignored the texts, he just didn't get them until much later...but even if he did ignore them that hardly makes him a dumbass. There is no rule that says you must respond to every text message as soon as you receive it

 

this is partly the reason i got rid of my Facebook and cellphone....
i'm the same; i'm friendly enough at work, but i really don't want to hang out all that much.
i've just explained to people that I'm a homebody, a loner, an introvert, and i prefer to stay home and read. most people get it.

 

Translation, you spent half the day eating pizza and jerking off

Well, in your case, half the day not eating carbs and jerking off

 

he saw them,
said he ignored them
then later put his phone in airplane mode so he didn't have to hear more alerts.

:|

so he doesn't have to respond - then he shouldn't come here whining about how he feels guilty. Pretty simple, bud.

 

and you're bitter that I'm still here. Yeah butthurt half a year later -- good one, mate.

 

it's responsibility.

 

What is?

 

I don't think it is right for people to feel obligated but I also do think that if mutual effort is not put into friendships they do not tend to survive.

There is nothing wrong with stating that you want time alone and it can be done in a positive manner. That way there tends to not be hurt feelings and expectations.

 

I think you should only give to people when you feel you want to give, and have something to give. If you want, like Garbo, to be alone, that's really a very reasonable thing.

Often, I feel I have nothing I wish to share with others, including my time. Some people may think that's weird, unsociable etc. But if they are real friends, they will understand, and it won't make any difference.

You don't exactly maximize a friendship by intruding on people's private space.You have to respect others right to have time alone as you would want them to respect your right.

If some people are just junkies for the attention of their particular crowd my advice would be leave them to it.

 

Many people wrongly accuse avoidant people of being anti-social. Those two behaviors are different.

People who are avoidant in-person may be very social online. There are people who have a hundred friends online that they maintain well but may be avoidant in the real world with few or no friends. It suggests that it's not completely an issue of not wanting friends or not being able to make friends. It has something to do with the venue.

People can come and go as they please on the web and choose to not be around without it offending people nearly as much as it would in person. The web also allows one to be highly selective with who they associate. Out of a billion people, the web permits someone to find a hundred people on a specialty website who have very similar feelings. That's much more difficult to do in the in-person world. The real world usually requires more discipline and a person's behavior has more direct ramifications. A person can take a dump in the punch bowl on a forum and not get thrown out of the club, punched in the face, charged with a criminal offense, relegated to the night shift at work, or fired.

 

I think the OP point was not so much questioning his own actions as he was questioning whether it's right or wrong to put his needs above other peoples'. Specifically in that moment in time.

Said question simply makes him a good person who is questioning his right to solitude in that moment in time, not a "moron" as you so maturely put it.


<3 Bunnie

 

Thats one I agree with.
TBH I'm pretty astonished by the consensus of the advice here.
PR pts out that he loses a fair number of friends. He identifies a potential source of problems ie not texting people back.

What does he get?
A load of pats on the back for ignoring his friends.

I *think* PR wanted advice on how not to fall out with friends.
My advice would have been to text them. Infact, I think most people (in the offline world!) would say that.