Aversion to "tranny chasers"?

Discussion in 'Transexual and Transgender' started by The Lone Wolf, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. The Lone Wolf

    The Lone Wolf Member

    In my interaction with transsexuals and crossdressers on the internet (I've never met any IRL), I have encountered a certain distaste for men labeled as "tranny chasers". It's as if they are creeps to be avoided at all costs.

    Is this the prevailing attitude among the TV/TS/CD community? I would think admirers, men who prefer to date/have sex with "trannies", would be valued rather than shunned.

    For the record I'm not a chaser myself, but I have found quite a few MTFs very attractive.
     
  2. jia

    jia Member

    I've always been attracted to androgynous members of either sex so I definitely can see the appeal. However, if someone is attracted exclusively then it could almost be a paraphilia in which case a healthy relationship is not likely.

    Also, and this is just my guess but I think most MTF girls are looking for men that are attracted to them because they think they're a beautiful woman, not because they think they're a beautiful transsexual.
     
  3. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    I do not identify as transsexual, but most others would label me as that. Personally, i would not get involved with a "tranny chaser" because for one, i do not see myself as a "tranny", and secondly, i want to be in a loving relationship with a man. I dont want to be someone's "fetish". Getting involved with someone who's only real attraction to me is that im a "transsexual" would not be a recipe for a healthy long lasting relationship.

    You have hit the nail on the head there. I cannot speak for anyone else, but i am female, and that is all ive ever identified as. If a man is attracted to me, i want it to be because he is attracted to me as a woman, not that he is attracted to me as a transsexual. I realise that this limits my chances of ever finding a decent man to have a loving relationship with. But id rather never be in a relationship, than compromise myself and my dignity in such a way. I want to be loved for me, and that is simply a woman.

    I for one would never even entertain the idea of doing anything with a "tranny chaser". If that means i have to stay alone forever, then so be it.
     
  4. moonandstars

    moonandstars Guest

    Personally I like crossdressing because it makes some men want me. I could never be a woman. I'll only ever be a feminine, girly, sexy guy for tranny chasers. I'm happy to be their plaything, coz that's what I want too. I'm not a woman trapped inside man's body. I'm just a guy who likes to be feminine for men who like feminine guys!
     
  5. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    Yes, i think only transvestites would be happy to go with a "tranny chaser". Any heterosexual woman born in the wrong body would not be happy with it, because we want to be loved as women. Not men in drag or "transsexuals".

    I dont think it's rocket science really why women who were born with the wrong bits would have an aversion to tranny chasers. I see myself as purely a woman who had the terrible misfortune of being born in the wrong body. I think tranny chasers have their place, but women born with the wrong bits are not going to want anything to do with them, and i think its pretty obvious why.
     
  6. Many tranny-chasers are men that are married, and I consider that off-limits for me.
    But if a man is truly attracted to my self and body, and is single, I might give him a go.
     
  7. Flanagan

    Flanagan Member

    I totally understand why a MTF transexual might prefer to date a "normal straight male" and not a "straight male tranny chaser". If somebody is not happy about having a penis, then it certainly could be uncomfortable to date a person who is attracted to that penis. However I think this problem is not unique to transexuals but exists in a range of scenes where people have "special" tastes. For instance a chubby chaser might be really turned on by a woman's belly and want to stroke it and be playful with it, whereas the woman might be very self-conscious and want to avoid any attention directed toward it. The term "dysmorphia" comes to mind here.

    The other issue with tranny chasers is that they may identify socially as straight and may not want to bring a MTF tranny into their social sphere. This is an unfortunate aspect of a culture which is in many ways closed-minded about sex. One can see promising alternatives in, for example, the relatively greater social acceptance accorded to the Kathoey in Thailand, or the gender-bending attitudes of the glam rock / Warhol Factory scene in the 1970's.
     
  8. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    The difference is the Katoey are "ladyboys", people who were born in the wrong body are not "gender benders". The fact is, "transsexual" women (or at least ones who have always felt they were born in the wrong body) were never male to begin with. Gender and physical body sex are not the same thing, they are entirely seperate of each other. Its just a lucky coincidental fact that most people's gender corresponds with their physical body setup. But gender is entirely dictated by a person's brain structure, nothing to do with physical sex. It has been proven that at least some people are born with brains more resembling the female brain, even though they were born with male sexual organs.

    So, some people are literally born with a body that doesnt match up with their birth gender. People like that, including me, will not accept labels such as "trans" "m2f" or "tranny". We see ourselves simply as females born with a hideous congenital birth defect. People like me will never go with a tranny chaser because we not only not see ourselves as trannys, we are literally not trannys either. We do have "body dysmorphia" in a sense, but that is because our sexual organs dont match up with what our brains are telling us should be there. Seeing as i only identify as female, and heterosexual, i would only ever date a straight heterosexual male. And only once id got rid of my horrid incongurent bits, and have something that at least somewhat resembles what i should have been born with in the first place. Being with anyone who saw me as anything other than simply a woman, would not be acceptable to me. It would feel wrong, horrible, and completely unnatural for me to be with someone like that.
     
  9. Flanagan

    Flanagan Member

    Wow, you really might want to come up with a more positive spin on that one. When life give you lemons... you know, have lots of crazy sex with someone who's into lemonade. Plenty of dudes are hot for your ass just as it is now. Unfortunately we don't always get to be liked for the reasons we want to be liked. I might want to be liked as a tall skinny sensitive artist but that is never gonna happen. People like me as "Booger" from "Revenge of the Nerds" so who am I to complain?
     
  10. TheMadcapSyd

    TheMadcapSyd Titanic's captain, yo!

    But, everyone who is anyone can have tons of crazy sex with tons of people if they were really willing to fuck anyone that would do it, but generally people don't want tons of crazy sex. You have to think of the psychological aspect, even if it's in the nicest way, someone attracted to you because of specifically the fact you're a transsexual is just a constant reminder of what you don't want to think about.
     
  11. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    Yes, people like me fight their whole lives to just be seen as normal people. We just want to be seen as our true genders, and being seen as a "transsexual" really doesnt tie in with that. It's a label that ties you down to a gender that you never were in the first place. And being with someone who's only with me because he sees me as a "transsexual" is like me accepting I'm something that I've never seen myself as. I've spent my whole life struggling to be seen as the gender i know I've always been. And being seen as anything other than female, is just never going to be acceptable to me, because I've never seen myself as anything other than that. If other people want to see me as a "transsexual", there's not a hell of a lot i can do about it. But i know I'm not that, and will continue to reject that as a label for what im suffering from. Seeing as I'm not a "tranny", being with a guy who is a "tranny chaser", is just something I will never ever do. And why do something if it doesnt feel natural, or right?

    I want to be liked for ME. I cannot see why i shouldnt want, and indeed expect that from other people. A tall skinny sensitive artist IS NOT what you are. Female is what i am, there's a world of difference. I just want to be liked and loved for me, not for someone im not. So that comparison is just stupid. Besides, im not interested in "lots of crazy sex" for the wrong reasons, and certainly not while i still have a body i detest with all i have. Why should i compromise my dignity and my feelings like that? I'll just end up disgusted with myself. What you are basically saying, is i should sell myself short just to be with someone for its own sake. Im sorry, i would rather stay alone forever than to do something that feels so inherently wrong and unnatural to me. And being with a man who saw me as anything other than just a woman would be exactly that. I want a companionship, a loving relationship with one man. But just because of the way i was born, i'll probably be forever denied that. Everyone is different, and just because some people are happy to be seen as "chicks with dicks" or "trannys", doesnt mean everyone labelled as that is going to be happy with it. Besides the fact those people were not born in the wrong body. So its stupid to compare the two things.
     
  12. Tooutpost

    Tooutpost Member

    Hi all! I have been reading carefully your opinions and respect them all, but allow me to give mine about it.

    I am straight, or at least that´s how I consider myself. All of my relationships have been with women with female bits.

    Since age 15 sometimes I felt planonic desire for femenine like guys (not regular guys). But since there were not many around, so I went to find love in the other half, girls.

    However, the fantasy of a romance with a MTF was always around. I felt attracted to them for the same reasons I was attracted to women: Femininity.

    Do I see them as gay men? No way. Am I attracted to the male bits? Not in particular. If that was the case I would be looking around for some dicks and, believe me, never did. Do I find sexually attractive the fact they look like "chicks with dicks"? First, if I like them, they look like a girl (I like girls). Second, I understand some of them were born with the wrong sexual genitalia, BUT that is not a problem for me. I try to understand the anxiety and pain of having the wrong body and what comes with it. I admire the courage and strenght that you have to build. BUT, excuse me, if I fell in love with a MTF the last thing I would want for her is to go to surgery. To me that person would be already perfect, the way she is. Other way I wouldnt be in love. Unless, SRA surgery were something she needed to feel like a woman. But, for me, She Already Is a Complete Woman. As far as I am concerned, any (serious) MTF is already a woman.

    After a not related to the issue divorce and still quite young I wanted to explore the possibility of finding a MTF partner. But, where to start? Unfortunatelly, if your are not gay and dont hang around gay bars and so on, there is no chance to meet any. Then, hang out in gay bars? Very wild. Soon you discover that if you want o meet any, you are going to pay for it. And then you become a tranny chaser.

    So what to do? How does an straight guy meets a girl with or without the wrong genitalia? If you look for them, you are a tranny chaser. But if you dont look for them, you wont see any unless you hang out in gay places, which is exactly the kind of places a MTF will not dream to see a potential love, since they look for straight guys.

    Hope I used the right words and didnt offend anybody.

    Some opinions? :)
     
  13. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    Okay...I'll pick up on a few of the points you've made:

    Well, this is the thing. Someone truly born in the wrong body, will not class themselves as a "MTF". Like me, ive always seen myself as female, so MTF doesnt apply to me, because ive never been male in the first place. Your last point there, i completely agree with. SRA doesnt make you a woman. Anyone who thinks they need surgery to "become" a woman, is having surgery for the wrong reasons, and probably isnt trapped in the wrong body. I see myself as female, and always have done. I want surgery simply so i can feel a degree of comfort in my own skin, as at the moment i feel like an alien inside my own body. And im disgusted by the genitals that ive always known should never have been on my body. No woman would want a penis and testicles on her body, so why should i be any different? So by the same token, "Trannys" are not women. As they are happy with their male genitalia. No real woman would want male bits, so people like that are not women, and are not trapped in the wrong body, and i think that is a distinction that has to be made. There is a huge difference between men acting like women, and are happy with their male bits, and females born with the wrong bits. The former are what i would call trannys. The latter are simply females born with a congenital birth defect. Yet lots of people class those 2 sets of people as the same when they clearly are not.

    The only "girls" you'll meet in gay bars are trannys, and true MTFs. Anyone trapped in the wrong body wouldnt be seen dead inside a gay bar. People like me are pretty anonymous, and just wish to try and blend in with society as our real genders unnoticed. I present myself as purely myself, and female to everyone i meet. If you are a tranny chaser, it shouldn't be too hard to come across a "chick with a dick" who will quite happily entertain you. Someone like me though would only ever go out with a straight guy, and could only engage in any kind of physical relationship once my body feels right, and i have gentilia that at least somewhat resembles what they should have been in the first place. To me, the idea of having sexual relations with bits that dont feel natural on me is just horrible.
     
  14. billyjean305

    billyjean305 Member

  15. Tooutpost

    Tooutpost Member

    Nice pic of a pretty girl, is there a meaning?
     
  16. billyjean305

    billyjean305 Member

    shes a he.:) and by far the best tranny i seen make a str8 go gay for that bitch
     
  17. Tooutpost

    Tooutpost Member

    She is a SHE and the fact that you have sex with a tranny doesnt make you guy. Again, it depends if you are attracted to the female or male form.
     
  18. Tooutpost

    Tooutpost Member

    I meant gay, not guy. Sorry :)
     
  19. Invisible Soul

    Invisible Soul Burning Angel

    This is one point i failed to pick up on before.

    If you're saying you would no longer love a woman who went for surgery, then really, it was never love to begin with. Love is about far more than just someone's physical appearance, and if just that would make you fall out of love with the person, then it would only ever have been lust to start with. Not love.

    I don't believe gender is something that can be chopped and changed. Gender is something imo that you're born with, is inbuilt in your brain before birth, and cannot be changed. I've never considered myself a "MTF", and in my opinion, anyone who would class themselves that, is not really female at all. To accept that as a classification for yourself, it's basically saying you were "once male". For all people genuinely trapped in the wrong body, they've only ever seen themselves as female, and therefore the label "MTF" does not apply to people like that. As far as i am concerned, you either are female, or you're not. You cannot "become" female, it's something that you either are, or you're not. I'm changing my body to become more womanly, so it fits with my brain set up, which has always been female. Anyone who thinks they can "become" female, is kidding themselves. Your gender, whether it be male, female, or even ambiguous is what it is, and can't be changed.

    So contrary to what you've just said, a "MTF" is not truly female. Not in my eyes. If other people have been/are seeing you as male, that's a different matter of course. But if you've always identified as only female, then that is what you are. People like that will not label themselves "MTF". Men and women have different brain structures, so gender and body sex are really not mutually exclusive to each other. In the vast majority of cases, the 2 things match up and there's no problem. The problem occurs when the brain structure/genetics (or both) conflicts with the person's body sex. The question has to be then, is someone born with male sexual organs really male, even if their brain structure suggests otherwise? Of course, my answer to that is no. Gender is all about emotions, and feelings, and sense of self. Something that is totally seperate from sexual organs. Although obviously, having the physical outer body of the opposite physical sex is a horrible and painful thing to have to live with. As i know only too well. I've only ever considered myself to be female, and i think if you've ever considered yourself to be male, then you will never be, and can never be female.

    So, "true" MTF's probably don't really exist. As i personally, do not believe you can change genders. Nor indeed can you "choose" your gender. Someone that was once male, at least in mind, can never be female in my opinion. You can change your physical body set-up (at least to a degree) to match your gender. You cannot change your gender. And for me personally, i just cannot understand why any female would choose to have, or be happy to keep male sexual organs. I've always hated the fact that my body is conflicting with my mind and soul. People who do themselves up like women, but are happy keeping their male organs are only pretending to be women, and will never ever be female.
     
  20. Tooutpost

    Tooutpost Member

    Hi again!

    Well, about your first note, I meant that, when in love, I would go for anything my partner needs to be happy. No need for me, but if it is surgery, ok too.

    Your opinions are very enlighted ind interesting, althought I also try to understand a variety of sexual identities as wide as it needs to be.

    Gosh, I like joints ;-)
     

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