Attracting the wrong women.....

I love being a man!

It's only bad being a guy if you need to fuck lots of women for validation- which is the source of my bitterness toward...women? No, existence.

So...what can I do? I feel bitter...I can depart from that reality. I'm helpless to dispel that bitterness by means of rational thought.

What I need is the moment depicted in my sig pic. That is what will dispel the bitterness...and certainly make me able to love women (a woman?) again.

Until then, I'll simply watch my bitterness...through its changes. Like Bill Murray is doing at the bar... Now a pang in my chest, now an internal rant...But remaining aware of what it is: the need for validation.

And not react to it. Not try to rationalize it away. Simply feel it and live with it until the bitterness changes as my life changes. Which it inevitably does.

Above all, I will not seek validation by jumping through hoops to get laid as I did in my 20s (and that is what seduction is...I don't care how smooth it looks). That is the origin of the bitterness anyway.

To be complete without female validation- that is the goal. Nota bene: Bill Murray at his most helpless...as soon as he resigns himself to his LACK of validation; at his LEAST seductive and masculine- OPENS UP.

To his environment and the people in it. To something greater and riskier than validation...and is rewarded for it with true intimacy.

 

hey, man, bitterness helped me fight my way out of an old way of life and into a wholly better one. i think all emotions have their place, as well as other people's reaction to them, but still, when you old way of life does nothing but chafe and burn and piss you off, it's the first step to moving on to a better one.

so, good luck.

 

Yes. I've always been like this too, I either like someone or I dont. What this person does or doesnt do, has or doesnt have has no effect in me liking them. It's the person's essence.

I always get so bored when I have to listen to my friends talk about several guys they like and kinda compare and contrast to see which ones they "pick".
I always let them know that I dont know why they're having that conversation with me, because the whole thing seems so wrong to me. Im like which one you like? And the conversation turns into a oh, he has money, so it's better, or he doesnt have a car, so it's bad.

I say blah to all that. Competing for another person is ridiculous. You either like me or you dont and I wont do anything to make you like me, I might tell you that I like you, but that's about it.

 

Maybe good people attract the wrong kind of person because it fulfills that urgency or need for validation.

 

Everyone attracts the wrong kinda people, but whether you get involved with the wrong kinda people depends on the choices you make, which comes down to how desperate you are to be in a relationship, given the opportunities that present themselves.

You gotta learn to live with yourself and love yourself before you can love someone else.

 

Yes! I knew you would understand.

I've been putting SHITLOADS of effort into my life, lately. It makes me feel like I'm both the happiest man in the world and ready to commit suicide--- simultaneously.

Just not drinking for 3 months has added so many layers of maturity. I'm AWARE of so much more that I would escape in the past via the bottle.

 

right on, man. keep it up.

 

Funny, I can't recall anyone ever saying that to me. Sure old friends inquire as to my marital status if we've been parted for some years but one would expect that sort of question.

 

Put it this way I seem to attract women that seem like normal decent women but then turn out to have boatloads of issues. My last g/f had Borderline Personality Disorder and was an alcoholic.