Hi all, I'm new here and I'd really like some help with some issues I face lately. Ok, so here's the deal: I think I might be lesbian because I have always felt attracted to girls in a sexual way, the way I don't feel with boys. I've always known this but suppressed it because I didn't want to deal with those feelings. But now those feelings become stronger and stronger to the point where I really want to have sex with the girl crushes I have at school. I always have girl crushes on girls I don't know, pretty strangers I like to lay my eyes on. I really fall for girly girls/lipstick lesbians who always seem to be happy. I'm a fairly girly girl myself in the sense that I have long hair and wear women's clothing, so no one really suspects me of being gay. Lately I have a crush on this girl I see regularly in the lecture rooms. She's so pretty and whenever I see her I just really have the urge to kiss her and take her to a room and %$@$#@ if you know what I mean . The thing is, I don't have experience with girls and I am really new with this and I have BAD gaydar. So how do I approach this girl and how do I know if she might be interested or not? What are the do's and the don'ts
Girl, I've been there. Middle school - high school, I was just like that (hehe, I kind of still am). But I've learned to kind of control these feelings over time, for better or for worse. In high school there was one girl I fell head over heels with. I'd imagine exactly what you do. Just taking her and just kissing the shit out of her. It came to the point of almost confessing my feelings to her but stopped just short of saying the actual sentence. She turned out to be 100% straight, and little freaked out that I liked her. So here's what I learned from that experience: 1. Don't over-read things. You know. When she looks at you, when she laughs with you, talks to you. Don't immediately assume she's secretly undressing you with her eyes. 2. Don't assume. When she says she never had a boyfriend and/or is not interested in boys, I wouldn't IMMEDIATELY be all like "LESBIAN. YES." Since it turned out her philosophy on dating was "God will lead me to the right person" and I guess she thought it wasn't me.... (T_T) My basic rule is to not assume every girl is gay, and to assume they are straight until proven otherwise. Like say, attending LBGT club meetings, or showing up frequently at a gay bar (although, apparently, straight girls go there too. Confusing) I'm not really sure how good that advice is though since, uhm, well I'm still single. I've never actually had a girlfriend....=( But hey! That advice has allowed me to control my urges to pretty much grab every pretty girl I see and kiss them 8D
Awww, I'm sorry to hear that she freaked out! I've never really made a move with a girl because I think I only fall for straight girls and confessing or making a move on them only makes it worse. I know this because they say they're straight and only like boys. Everytime I start to like a girl I find out she has a bf or she is completely straight and not into girls or fooling around with girls. So I guess I'm doomed... I met this girl in class who is insanely pretty and attractive. She has a bf unfortunately, but one time she said she found an outspoken lesbian she knew was very hot. Now I don't look like this particular lesbian at all because she looks like a guy, but do you think she might be bi or just curious? Because most of the time straight girls don't go around saying lesbians are very hot right? Or am I just imagining things, like always? I've noticed that I WANT to believe a girl is gay or bi because I think she is hot/attractive. Am I the only one or do you have that too?
A lot of gay people do that. A gay guy, who used to be my friend, did that like all the time and it was so annoying! He thought that almost all the guys around him were gay but that was just what he wanted them to be. So it's very good if you can distinguish reality from what YOU WANT things to be. Now about your issue, I think you should start going out to gay bars or clubs and try to meet real lesbians first. I don't know where you live and if it is easy for you to mingle with other gay people but that way you can learn about their experiences and get some helpful advice. Secondly, try to befriend that girl so that you can learn more about her but put the sexual desires aside as much as you can.
Fixed it for you. I know it happens to me with straight guys trying to force me into being with them. As has been said, make no assumptions - but my advice is to not let this stop you. A POLITE inquiry should not be an insult, just don't press if any womon says no.
