Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

Coz it likes to sneak up on you when you're not looking.



When I follow another truck around the M25 London Orbital road-is he 80 yards ahead of me or 112 miles behind me?

 

Neither. London is not in an orbit.


Why do people live?

 

cos they would'nt like ta offend people by dyin'

why is the ground so near ?

 

Because it's been grounded.

What are spaceballs?

 

testicles cooked in outerspace.

what is the purpose of leg hair?

 

tenticles ta ward of invaders

what are hairy mollys ?

 

bald mollies in disguise.


how does Teflon stick to the pan?

 

cos its sticky

whats teflon ?

 

a typo for telephone.


what is a gin and tonic made of?

 

a slice of lemon!

Why do Revels insist on putting the coffee one that no-one likes in their mixture?

 

cos they want people ta buy them just ta throw the coffe one in the bin

how do they get the figs inta figarolls ?

 

They Dont, its all part of your imagination.
Why would anyone have sex with a mongoose?

 

they dont,its all part of your imagination

why are mongooses called mongooses when they look more like ferrets than geese ?

 

Because they hide in bushes to lure geese, calling "'mon goose!"

What is it in school paste that is so appetizing anyway?

 

it resembles cum.

why is lava so hot for?

 

It has a great fashion sense, a hot body and a great personality.


What happens if you poak an oak?

 

you get your conkers squeezed.


When the pope buys stuff on ebay,does he use his papal account?

 

I'll ask him on facebook.

Does a double dog dare scare a triple threat?

 

Certainly not.

Does a chicken have lips?

 

I hope so....or else I was kissing a beak.


Is green the opposite to red?