Ask a stupid Question.. Get a stupid Answer

almost as thick as mr bush

why is lemon juice in a bottle fake and real lemons used in washing up liquid?

 

because they want us to put washing up liquid on our pancakes? bastards!

why does an iron iron but a building doesnt build?

 

because it has a really good union

why cant i find a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle?

 

because they are buried 1257 feet in to the ground.

where will i find a hard worker?

 

In the porn industry.

Why do women feint at the sight of blood ?

 

because they are vampires on a diet and they cant take the stress of being tempted


if i try to fail and i succed, which have i done?

 

arghhhhhhh, eat a sandwich.

im lying. am i telling the truth or not?

 

neither, you are mearly a figment of your own imagination



how does a fool and his money get together in the first place?

 

at a singles bar

the sky is blue; but how do we really know what the colour "blue" is?

 

Coz blue sounds better than poo...


But how do you know that blue's better than poo?

 

Cos poo stinks and blue has no smell. (unless you have those blueberry scented markers)

why can i never think of stupid questions to ask?

 

cause you try to keep an air of intelligence about you



whats an intelligence?

 

Steed from The Avengers.


How many Beans make 5 ?

 

3


what's air?

 

the stuff in the gap between me ears

how does one walk on sunshine?

 

by having her laydown first.


how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
(though i'm not sure you have those over here)

 

1,472. I counted once, really I did


If God exists, why did he wire men and women so damn differently?

 

cause he made us when he was drunk

how come E=MC2 states that light is a constant when it isnt?

 

it states that lightspeed is constant in a vacuum which it is ... what it's doing in my vacuum I have no idea

Why does Britain turn upside down when we get a cold snap?

 

be careful about starting to count, you might not be able to stop

so men and women are not the same