Ask a stupid Question.. Get a stupid Answer

No they have a tune for every day of the week!

Is there a bustle in your heagerow?

 

I don't have a hedgerow, I live in an apartment. And who wears a bustle anymore?


As long as we're on the subject, how much does a stairway to heaven cost?

 

It’s by donation.



Should I have been more sociable with my crack head neighbors?

 

they wouldn't remember anyway.




what's so great about romance novels anyway?

 

They help in reducing the tree population.



Is anyone else getting excited about Christmas yet?

 

My Christmas tree is out already! Okay, actually I haven't taken it down from 2006 yet.


Why isn't inflammable the opposite of flammable? Come to think of it, why isn't intuition the opposite of tuition?

 

inflammable isnt the opposite of flammable and intuiton is is not the opposite of tuition because both are the opposite of fireproof and the tuition words share a common ontology but not a common definition

why do fools fall in love?

 

Because fools go were brave men fear to tread.



If the TV series Gilligans Island was written as a soap opera would Ginger of seduced Mr. Howl for his millions? And would Gilligan have been a fugitive hiding from the law and the reason he messed up rescues was so he wouldn’t have to go back to the States and face charges?

 

None of that he would have sold his ass on a regular basis because he likes anal sex

the chorus would sing
Dick him dick him dick him

and he would sing
Oh my god its heaven being dicked for the love of it !

and then he would die

____________

so the question is -
For how long should someone growl at the beaver before leaping on top and stuffing it full of salami?

 

Well Canadian beavers have teeth so you can’t just grow at them then jump on them and stuff them with sausage – you have to sneak up on them from behind.



If Thing on the Adams Family was religious how would he have prayed?

 

with middle finger extended.



do you have any idea how happy i am to be watching ghost rider tonight?

 

Why yes, as a matter of fact I do!



Are nuns called nuns because that's what they get: none?

 

Maybe - but it could also be because when it comes to a fashion sense they have none.



Why did turtleneck sweaters go out of fashion?

 

global warming.



am i boring myself?

 

Not sure - but what I do when I bore myself is hide things then try to find them.



I have been thinking of making a career change – are there any jobs that having a knack for asking and answering stupid questions be an asset?

 

Why politics of course!



Is Paris Hilton getting sex in prison?

 

I really don’t think so because I heard she is trying to change her ways and found Jesus. She probably just sits in her cell and thinks of ways to improve the world.



If I do go into politics is it inevitable that my stupid questions and stupid answers will become corrupt?

 

inevitably.


why is a wedding ring a creep magnet?

 

Like attracts like.

How many times can you spin around before you're sick?

 

One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine...ten...
eleven...twelve...thirteen...fourteen...fifteen...sixteen...sevenBLAAAAAAAEEEEEERRRRRGHHH


Sixteen.



Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?