Ask a silly question ... get a silly answer

I keep the curtains closed so it can't see women walking past!

So,tell me about that Leopard tattoo....

 

I knew you weren't looking properly!!!

So how did you get that ladder in my tights?

 

Ah-I 'rung' you to say keep the bed warm as I'm on my way...[smirk]

So-what did you think of my gimp mask?

 

Oh ... is THAT what is is? I thought you were offering ma a mink ... *gasp!*

Are you sure you know better than my SatNav?

 

If you are talking about driving around my house I do.

Why did 409 pick those 3 numbers to name their cleaner.

 

409 represents the number of harsh chemicals in the cleaner.

What happens if you accidentally inhale while blowing glass?

 

One tastes the last sight of life

Who is the one/s that will eventually 'Trump's wall'?

 

Builders merchants
Liverpool rd
Manchester...

You ever find something you were convinced you chucked away?

 

My Heart(?!?) - although sadly. soon lost again

Why is the Motorway (/freeway/autobahn ...) full of unnecessary cones?

 

They are waiting for my whippy to break down

What's black and white, and red all over?

 

Well I would say a Newspaper - but thanks to the inter-web they've lost their appeal - so Ill go for a wounded Zebra

With No 'Natural' predator around, is there a Godzilla hiding in the deepest of jungle?

 

Nope...the bypass really pissed him off with 25/7 traffic,so he moved into the flat under morrow's.

Are my bottom-burps,as succulently sweet in flavour,as they are beauteously fragrant???

 

Depends if you like ugly fruit...

Laces, what's the use of laces when you can have a zip?

 

Ah,they come in really handy when a chap can't find his handcuffs-as you well know,you little tease!

What's the point of taking photos of a 'Black Hole' that's so far away it's hiding behind a big grin?

 

People are always in a hole at some point in their life

How do you make a malteser roll down a hill??

 

Threaten it with a Smartie Gun!

Is it ok,for my loins to burst my zipper merely at the mention of morrow's name?

 

She is a fine lady, so no!

What do you throw in a pot of cooked rice that still has too much water?

 

PASTA,me old mate! Rice 'n' pasta cookies-you'll make a FORTUNE!

Is it right that my erection just won't go down,just coz I saw morrow's naked thigh???

 

Morrow's naked thigh will kick your erection down.

Is the sky going to fall tomorrow?

 

I had a chat with some feller named Bond-he said Skyfall's already been done, so you're safe!
...where did I leave my beard-can't find the dashed thing anywhere!