Ask a silly question ... get a silly answer

Because you are a CLEVER penguin and know all about duotone '4-point abstract' fabrics,you smarty,you!


Aren't you just SO proud of Pen for knowing that? Eh?

 

I have rarely been proud of what i know.

WAAAAZZZZZZUUUUUPPPP???

 

Well,at the moment my temper and the chances some prick around here is going to get a MIGHTY slapping.
[by 'around here' I refer to my vicinity,NOT H/F...you're all totes SOOPER!]


Anybody mind if I have the last biscuit?

 

all yours, i want the bagel.

should i eat breakfast, lunch or dinner, for 3 meals a day for a week?

 

Yes.


How come Waddles [one of my pooches] can hear me starting to eat an apple from 6 rooms away?
{She's just arrived as I was biting in...and I fkn KNOW she was at the other end of the house}

 

Waddled has her hearing aid turned up too high.

Why is gravity so much greater at the surface of my bed in the mornings?

 

dreams are heavy

Why does the octopus need that many tentacles?

 

Well if it had one less it'd be a heptapuss...which is a SILLY name and could embarrass it!


Should I wear the pink wig,or the rubber nose,to the vicar's teaparty tonight?


[I am NOT actually editing this...I just wanted to see my name down there.....#sigh#]

 

buy a suit instead.

how long do I have to walk tell I want to walk less?

 

Weeell,your toe bone's connected to your foot bone,your foot bone's connected to your ankle bone.
When one/some/all of them start moaning...you've walked too far.


Does this nifty Hawaiian shirt suit me?

 

no, but the purple people eater one is just up your street...

what end does a worm eat its dinner?

 

The wrong end, that's why they live underground.

Is there anything else that would live better underground?

 

Chud's

Who was the first one to name a band a silly name?

 

I'd say the bloke who named his band "We're really famous!"...that nobody has ever heard of.


Why can't I buy a left-handed pencil???

 

You can only get them in china.

If so much cheap shit is made in china then where is fine china made?

 

It's made in China too but they just stamp it as "made in England"

What do the English do best?

 

Buy cameras to spy on innocent.

Why would anyone want to move to the north pole?

 

It's the fault of those BLOODY noisy penguins all dancing-y'can't get to sleep!

What's happened to all the ashtrays now so many people have given up smoking?

 

They sit in thrift stores making it look like they have more for sale than they actually do.

Dont most people just use empty beer cans as ashtrays?

 

Until someone takes a swig from that beer can by mistake.

What do you suppose this dog is thinking about?