Are You Versatile?

Far from me being charismatic I recognize that integrity cannot be had lest you share it with others. We find those most agreeable whom we agree with.
Regardless for those who feel they deserve special consideration, nothing you do will ever be good enough.

 

When I rented the tuxedos for myself and my groomsmen for my wedding, they gave me a coupon for a free suit as part of the deal, so I spent a couple hundred dollars extra and got myself a nice suit. I use it as motivation to not gain wait, because I intend to wear it to every wedding and funeral for the rest of my life.

 

I like to think I fit in.

I like to THINK it ... but that ain't to say I'm not deluding myself. LOL

 

Do you actually get enough time in an elevator to "treat" a person in a certain way?

 

I like to think I'm pretty socially versatile. I honestly haven't had a chance to hang out with really wealthy people, but I can get along with just about any dirt poor or blue collar or middle class person.

Its not being fake, its recognizing that money doesn't somehow make someone superhuman, or that lack of money doesn't make someone subhuman.

 

I'm versatile about how the left and right can be ill-informed about the environmental failures of human beings; one side believes in governance contracting as good ideas in industry, and the other judges the people from the knowledge the rich and poor can get from the necessities of fiscal and monetary policies (I mean the poor think of it as the ordinary at home budget and work efficiency suggestions). Of course there is also the "right to fail" actual to stranger capacities to point out that we mean good: the government as opposed to governance wants the acceptable faith in oneself for the education we got.:smilielol5:

 

Fuck I wrote wait instead of weight and now I can't edit...

 

i'm kind of socially awkward in any situation. but, i can get along with pretty much anyone; they just see me as that decent-but-slightly-awkward guy.

even most of them are alright, as long as you don't get into politics with them. just have a normal conversation, and they're generally just like anyone else.

 

It's also sometimes about being a little more open-minded and adventurous, willing to take a step or two outside of your comfort zone, and have a positive attitude about it. Sometimes, people appear to be afraid of things that are not really big risks at all.

Not too long ago, I saw a couple that was taking an older relative out for dinner at a really nice restaurant. The old woman wasn't used to going such places, and didn't recognize anything on the menu, so she ordered a burger. The waiter was amused, but still polite. They didn't offer hamburgers on their menu, but he said he was sure that the chef could handle the special request. She asked for ketchup when the food arrived, and dumped so much on there that she couldn't have possibly known what the meat tasted like, even though it was surely the highest grade of ground beef available anywhere, with premium seasoning. Then she loudly complained to the younger couple that it tasted no better than what she could get at McDonald's. She ate about half of it, even though it surely cost them $20. The couple looked miserable.

Whenever you're outside of your social comfort zone, a good rule of thumb is if you look around the room and don't see anybody else doing something, it's probably better if you don't do it either. Why draw attention to yourself and embarrass the people you're with, if they're trying to be nice to you?

What was the worst thing the old woman thought could happen, if she ordered something off the menu made from chicken? None of it is going to kill you. You might not love the exotic taste (or you might!), but it's surely going to be better than anything ever served in a public school or in the Army, and there are plenty of starving people in the world who would love to get anything fit for human consumption, so just shut the fuck up and eat it! How hard is that, really?

I know this is an extreme example, not one that you see every day, but I frequently see people doing smaller things to make cultural differences a bigger problem than they need to be. Not having money is not an excuse to be an ass. And god knows, we don't need any more things in this culture to divide us.

I think this may be a more common problem in parts of the South that have made drastic economic gains in the last 50 years. So many well-off middle-aged people here have parents who grew up in poverty, and so many of the old folks absolutely reject anything that is different from what they're used to.

My mother was one of those Southerners who got well beyond her upbringing, and she told me about a strategy that she used many times. That advice has served me well, over the years. She said that whenever you're in a place where you don't fully understand what's going on, unless you're dressed inappropriately, you're not going to make a fool of yourself by simply existing there and breathing the air. Don't do anything until you've figured out what you should do.

It's not rocket science, but it works.

I could have given an opposite example, like from a beer party or a sex party. The people who have bad experiences are the ones who are too quick to jump in and show their ignorance.

You might be surprised at some of the extreme ways many Americans react to celebrity encounters, however brief. Or you might not.

Unfortunately, a lot of them love to bring up controversial issues. If you don't respond, they take that as agreement.

 

I am not versatile in explaining religion as the subject for the worldly realties people are trying to be confident about. Rather I'd be less confident and more versatile in myself representing being religious or not.

 

You can find a biography of the co-founder of the Green Berets @amazon: From the OSS to the Green Berets.

Aaron Bank spent his youth & early adult as a world traveler; a bon vivant. He worked as a lifeguard @the Biarritz resort. He joined the U.S. Army when he was in his late 30s. "Too old" for combat, he volunteered for the newly created OSS: it was canvassing for people w/ language skills.

He worked alongside & trained French resisters in France, & later, in Indochina, he came to admire Ho Chi Minh, who had battled first French, then Japanese, occupiers.

My personal favorite "versatile" was my college academic adviser, who taught German. Son of a Bronx cop, he served in Korea; then attended Johns Hopkins & Harvard on the G.I. Bill. At the southern state university where he taught, he recruited poor but bright students from all over & landed them scholarships. On weekends, he recruited his language students to go help fix plumbing, roofs, & lives of folks on the "other side of the tracks." During the week, he could lecture for 3 hours straight w/o notes, talking about the socioeconomic times of a particular writer.

I left grad school to work as a hospital orderly; then joined the Navy for education purposes. Worked in a research lab w/ psychologists & diving medical officers; then went to officer candidate school. I had some troubles but was eventually commissioned.

On the ship, I found enlisted personnel far more enlightening than my fellow officers, who seemed to avoid the people that worked for them. (This sorta thing has only increased, not just in the armed forces, which are now just about obsolete, but in the so-called private industry: the schism, the chasm betw. management & work force: Obama is the latest example of the aloof manager; this is Walmart for the past 20 years.)

I've caddied @an exclusive country club; smoked dope in a church in Hamburg, Germany; & happen to like McDonald's. I've now worked for the same fed. agency for more than a decade: the latest round of managers pretend I'm not there & my peers come to me surreptitiously for help.

It's an odd & cockamamie atmosphere, & it's apparent to me that the notion of versatility is in the same category as "jack-of-all-trades; master of none." I'm deep into middle age now, & my attitude is "BFD." I'm reminded of the late Scottish psychiatrist Ronald Laing's comment that his seniors told him not to get "too close" to his patients.

 

You seriously up your cool cred with every damned post.

 

I am versatile; I think everyone should be. It's easier though for a refined person to seem to "step down" than for a not-so-refined person to pretend to be comfortable in discerning surroundings

 

Very good trend! Its nice to know that a lot of people here have faced this critic from people.

I liked how you described the issue at hand above.

I always have found it easy and interesting to connect with different kind of people as well as being open to different settings. When people used to think me fake I never really let it bother me, until a few months back.

Found myself questioning who I was? And being concerned about ppl not finding me to be genuine. I also found myself not wanting to do certain things cos I didn't want ppl to think I was just trying to be something im not.

Lesson learned; I am not fake at all, I just like getting involved with various ppl as well as activities. Life is just more exciting that way. And life can be a lot better not worrying about what others think. We only live once and should enjoy life in a way that makes us most happiest (if it aint hurting anyone of course, do onto others what ud like in return etc)...:sunny:


wow *has to stop....ranting....*:mickey:

 

I don't think it's a choice. Everybody would like to be versatile (you could always choose then not to act on it )

 

I do hope that you will one day find the strength to get over this. The most important thing is that you are finding it ok to be yourself with some people e.g. your girlfriend. If it is in your destiny to get over it, ill be very thrilled, being emancipated from such a tight hold is a very wonderful feeling. I know this cos I felt a very similar thing for years. :sunny:

Best wishes

 

Aww I do stuff like that all the time. Its really strange how it can be overlooked when typing.

I (and im sure this forum) doesn't mind either way, after all this place is like a family rather than something formally corporate.


*hugs, there, there.*

 

Happily getting into reading again, would you recommend any good espionage related book?

 

Not where I'm from.

 

The only thing I find truly contentious is gravity.