Are You A Loner Or Gregarious?

I have been thinking about this with some of the comments around here.......

People are basically social creatures, but some are more than others.

Would you consider yourself to be a loner or a people person?

I am at the core kind of a loner....always have been, but I am outgoing and can get along with crowds of people in real life....
My role in my family was always to be the bouncy, happy one to try to make everyone around me happy and hopeful....so it is something I am used to doing.....too...being lively, happy and bubbly......most of the time.....

Stan, my room mate and I live separate lives....but we come together to get what needs to be done here for the animals and house....and other things, It is a symbiotic relationship that works well...He has his freedom to do as he wishes, as I do.....He lives upstairs most of the time in his room when he is home....and I am basically downstairs most of the time....

We have respect for each other's privacy and freedom......and we are good friends at the core.....

If something were to happen to him.....I would have to get used to driving a car to get to places I need to go.....as I don't like to drive......but other than that, I am pretty self reliant.....

I like to be around people, but I also like to be alone doing my painting and writing, etc, as well....That is when I find my inner strength.....to be able to go face the world again and again......

How about you?

 

Oh dear Lord, again one of these threads.
I swear, the same topic appears at least once a month.

 

I am very much a loner. I have tried to like the company of others, but I just can't under most circumstances unless it's something spontaneous. If I am going to be around people, I want it to be people with whom I can relate. Otherwise I much prefer my own company. I am the type of person who mostly lives inside their own head. Being alone gives me time to think, and I just cannot do that when other people are around.

I have also wondered if humans really are social creatures to the extent that they would have us believe. I have wondered if perhaps that is just something we have been told since it would appear that society seems to value collectivism more than individuality. The power structure does not like people who ask too many questions, and it would appear those who are always engaged in social activity have little time to think about things of real importance. It seems to me that stupidity predominates in groups as opposed to lone individuals.

 

PR, I like what you wrote. I have to agree with you on the points that you have made......and when i am visiting with people.....outside, I am fine for awhile, but then want to leave to go back to my own world again....and I can only take people in small doses......at a time......people in Cape Cod are like family to me now, so I love that group every year for 4 days or however long it is....and one can always go to their room to get away for awhile....
People need to feel like a comfortable shoe for me to want to be around them for long periods of time.......and the freedom to be yourself always has to be a given.

Piaf, I am sorry....I have not seen any threads asking this question directly....sorry to displease you....lol

 

I guess I'm a bit of both. My job requires me to interact with people throughout my whole shift and while I enjoy it, it's exhausting. I have only a couple of good friends in my personal life and most of the time that suits me fine. Being in a large group can be overwhelming and even boring at times if I feel like I don't fit in.

 

i am not too much a people person. most people only wish to discuss the most mundane (to me) things, the usual bullshit that people talk about, rather than deep intellectual discussions that takes understanding, and a little bit of thinking, which many people seem to not like to hado too much of, unless they absolutely are forced to.

its not that i hate people, just that the average person seems to be interested in only the most superficial things, and between me and that type of person, there really isn't much to talk about.

 

I do go through periods in which I feel somewhat lonely and isolated, where I briefly emerge from my shell so to speak to socialize (it could be going to a party, on a date, or simply out for a few drinks), realize how much I dislike it, then I am good for about another six months of mostly isolation.

 

I'm a hermit....

 

i'm whatever the situation needs.......i have no problem with people and social situations.....where i live is remote compared to most but i enjoy even the social aspect of our general store and taking road trips to visit family etc


i love people and the awesome possibilities of each new friendship.....i love hearing about other peoples lives and enjoying telling about my own life

 

Of course humans are social creatures. It's the reason you post on this site.

I think that your characterization of people who are openly social as thoughtless or stupid is a product of your own insecurity.

 

I am a gregarious loner.

 

I've increasingly become more and more of a loner over the years. It kinda sucks in some ways, but ok in others.

 

I used to be very concerned about my loner identity. Now people's opinions matter less and less and that's the only way I care whether or not I'm gregarious. I'd say I have an active social life with the 6 or so people that I actually give two shits about, and a strong loner streak for the bullshitters. Far too busy to worry about it, however.

 

Yeah, perfectly put......lol

 

i'm very much a loner and very much by my own choice. i NEED to think my own thoughts, the way other people 'need' company.
i may not have always been this way when i was younger. i mean i always needed to think my own thoughts then too.
just that i was more willing to sacrafice that for the sake of affection, and yes, sex, when i was really young.
but over the years i kind of got used to not having a lot of affection, nor often, in my life.
while at the same time, my need to be alone, to think my own thoughts and see things my own way,
has been my over riding priority concern all along.
more then worth, everything it has cost me to have to live without.

 

Never really thought much about this ! we have a close family (which I feel is important ) I have people I hang with who have the same interests as I do , I have people that I work with and we get on ok for the most part .
I worked away for about ten years though and sometimes I used to dread the thought of someone wanting to come over and make small talk , to the extent that I used to try to make myself invisible ! this has its drawbacks when you want serving in a bar though .
but on the other hand I have been in places when I have searched out someone to relate and have a laugh with
So I am sat here and I still have no idea which one is me ?

I would ask a friend but I don't have any

 

I'm definitely a loner. I'm hella introverted and don't really see the need in having lots of friends. I actually prefer to spend MOST of my time alone. As long as I have a few friends IRL(five or fewer), then I'm perfectly happy with my social life. The fact that I make it a point to have so few friends(four, to be exact) makes me very loyal to the friends I DO have; they're more like family and I consider them all to be my brothers and sisters and would do anything for them.

 

I'm somewhere in between those extremes. I definetely need social contacts, superficial or meaningful, but I also need to spend time by myself in order to think, write, create and basically just keep my sanity.

 

I'm clearly somewhere in between as well. I love the company of people but I really like my own company just as much. Sometimes it depends on the mood of course and I can even have my anti-social moments where I prefer my own company.

Personally I often can relate to PR's ramblings in some way but what he says here about really social people I find just the biggest nonsense. People clearly are social people and if you are not one (which is perfectly normal imo) that doesn't imply other people are getting tricked into being social (wtf )

 

I'm more of a loner who would probably rather be at home than just about anywhere else. But I also have to put on different "hats" for different reasons so I've learned to be good at presently myself in whatever way the situation calls for. That doesn't mean I always like it though. One thing I am lucky for is that my wife is very outgoing and likable. So in some social situations it's easy to just let her take the lead and I can kind of sit back and listen.