Are Women More Superficial?

you know, i have to say that this thread is a little off-putting.

would you think it is appropriate to go to the gay forum and post, "are gays more prissy and wimpy than straight guys? i'm not saying you all are, but all that i've encountered have been!" or to go to an african-american forum and say, "all the blacks i've encountered have been dumb and agressive, are you all like that? i know you all can't be, but most of you are, i slap dumb agressive blacks with my cock" etc? while you say that you're not trying to level an assault at women, what you're saying is pretty damn derogatory and there are a lot of implied insults in what you said. if you had posted something like, "what are your opinions and experiences as a woman, in terms of materialism and superficiality?" you would have gotten much different responses, and i bet they would have been a lot more positive.

i mean, really, what is one supposed to say to that?

i could knock all other females (while putting myself above them all, of course ) like a few posters here did. "yes, most women are like that, but not me, i'm better than everyone!"

or i could try and show you that while there are a few shallow women in the world, there are just as many shallow men, too. (ie: you say girls only care about fashion and makeup, but what about guys who only care about their cars, ipod and simpsons dvds?) but someone tried that, and apparently that wasn't good enough.

it sounds like you just want women to admit that they are all heartless, shallow sluts.. which we're not. so just stop with the nasty stereotypes, okay? and while you're at it, get over yourself.

 

Good point, I have too, and it begs the question: Are women more superficial?

Are we just talking about women that are superficial regarding the men they date, or just superficial in general. About the woman who wouldn't consider the man that is a bit overweight, or the woman who will spend hours perfecting and supplementing thier appearance? I think there are far more of the latter, personally, but plenty of both. And I feel like I know far more superficial women then I do superficial men, but I don't know everyone so I don't know how accurate my assessment could be!

 

I agree the OP could probably have worded his question better, but to be fair he clarified himself a couple pages back. I think he got the point that he didn't do such a great job posing the question. I also think you have completely misunderstood the point of my posts, but there still there to read again, and I have made new ones to clarify even more.

To me, the OP is asking a question somewhat similar to if I asked "Are men really more aggressive?" I would be tactful in my wording, but I think it is a fair and inoffensive subject to explore.

There is evidence of women's superficiality. Women are generally the main consumers of a household. I know all the crap in my house is mine (and it's the same in every couple's house I know!), if my husband and I split he could move into a cardboard box with room to spare. And I don't consider myself superficial! I just somehow ended up with twice the wardrobe, twice the shoes, makeup, and nicknacks galore....well I'm done mentioning my inventory. But I think we can have a civil conversation exploring the subject because there is certianly some interesting discussion to be had.

 

well, and i've also noticed that the women who work the hardest to perfect their appearance are the ones in fear of losing their relationship, or worse, never developing one at all. i'd say that's more a function of how they're being treated by their so-called man than anything else. what's the number one thing men complain about when they get married? that their wife gets fat. who's the superficial one?

 

No shit, thats said well! Im lucky because for one, I haven't gotten fat since I got married but even if I did my husband would love me just the same. And second my husband has gained 65 lbs since we got married . I love him more now then I did then. Funny, because we will look at old pictures and I will say to him "Dayum, what did I ever see in your skinny ass?" LOL joking of course but I love his chub now, he is waaaay more sexy to me. Now if we could only get 10 min. alone without the kids so we could actually have sex!

 

I'm diggin the post, KC...great point! So is our seeming superficiality a response to the way men treat us? Perhaps!


And folks remember, this conversation isn't about any one individual, but more about the social dynamics of men and women in our culture.

 

well sure. see, i grew up with an incredibly superficial older brother. his treatment of women is absolutely disgusting. i grew up used to ignoring him, but i've watched him charm his way into the pants of countless women, who were then left abused and confused. only when the mother of his child lost her fucking mind due to the ravages of anorexia did he begin to understand his role in the destruction of several women. poetic justice has granted him a daughter whom he adores and needs to protect. an only now, after all these years, does he begin to wonder who was really being the asshole.

 

Oh for sure, the superficial ways of women are totally a result of men. I totally agree with this.

 

at the same time, i wanna say to these women "GET THE FUCK OVER IT." i mean, i grew up with the bastard. i'm kinda grateful, because i learned to look for a different sort of man. but he really did seem like the ideal: golden, handsome, athletic, smart, funny. but he's one fucked up significant other. if more fathers were more involved in their daughter's lives, there might not be such a terrible gap between what women think they want, and what they actually need. but for the most part, i've known very few dads who had any relationship at all with their daughters, and the girls fortunate enough to have a caring, involved dad at home had better relationships.

 

sera, i'm sorry, im a little confused...
i didn't reference any of your posts, or refer to anything you said (nor did i direct my post to you).
im sorry if this is rude or blunt, but what are you talking about?

 

I think I made a valid point. I think you made one as well.

But, then you ended it with the slam...just had to didn't ya? Couldn't resist...

Well, did it make you feel better?

 

lol. it probably did. for at LEAST 10 minutes. that's usually my threshold. then i start feeling silly.

 

I'm sorry but in the world I live in males and females are absolutely equal in their superficiality, whoreness, fakeness, lying, posing, etc. It has nothing to do with gender, it has everything to do with culture. You've just noticed women because you've paid more attention to that of women, because that is what you are looking for. Men do that into old age as well.

The reason it catches people's attention when women do it is because it's a new thing. With the feminist movement, came a confusion, many women felt that to be liberated they had to be like men and do all the things that men did, well they had it partly right, they should have the right to do anything a man can do, but like anyone who comes out of severe restriction they took it overboard, and instead found it necessary to make themselves more man-like, thereby actually restricting themselves even more by living the idea that men are better than women, thereby to be 'better' they'd have to act like men. And just like anything else there are women who never acted this way and always saw that was not the way to go. But in all honesty society is breeding a race of these people that you complain about because this culture and many, many others, in it's essence is superficial, whoring, fake, lying, and posing as well.

 

Luckily both me and my mate have no money and wish there was a way (and we're looking) we could live comfortably without any at all. We do live pretty cheaply and pretty comfortably until the end of the month, lol.

 

you make nooses?

 

I agree 100%

I see girls walking around with makeup so thick you could scrape it off with a shovel, a whole can of a hairspray on their head, and drowned so deeply in their perfume that it makes me sick to my stomach... It makes me SAD for them, I suppose, that they actually find it necessary to spend 4 hours in front of the mirror everyday...what a waste of life.

Some of my friends are even like this, and I just *can't* understand it. What's even worse is the complete superficial/judgemental attitude that they have... for example, one of my friends, we'll call her Lily...
Lily has this thing with always having to look perfect. Even if it's just lounging around the house, she insists that her hair and makeup must be done to a T... She will only shop at certain stores, for certain brands... If you took her into a thrift store though, and found that same brand...she wouldn't buy it just because it's second hand. And, she's the same person who I can't stand going out in public with because she's embarrassing. She's embarrassing because she watches EVERYONE around her, and for EVERYONE she has some snide, negative remark, solely based on their appearance.

A while back, my boyfriend's friend liked Lily. And well she thought he was good looking, she wouldn't go for him ONLY because he didn't wear a certain style of clothes.

I find it hard to talk with her lately, and be around her for this reason.

Girls, Libertine isn't just pointing out the materialism, but the snotty attitude that comes along with it. And, to me, if anybody thinks it's okay to feel so high on themselves that they somehow think it's fine and dandy to make everyone else feel like less of a person... Then, well, I don't have much respect for people like that.

 

Or more of a function of what kinda man they choose. Peopel are focused on the wrong things which makes them unhappy because they look for happiness in the wrong things...or the wrong people. Superficial peopel find superficial people to live with/ for and they both add to each others ways. But if peopel were more organic ( to say the least) they may not do this as they wouldn't be getting superficial for superficial people. There is a saying I like... Don't try to impress people your not impressed with. Not that I don't know where you are coming from because as a person in a long term relationship myself Iknow too it's just special when you don't have to feel that way. When you can be happy with who/ what you are without objects to please you. Women are emotional and get emotionally attached to things ( yes men too but women more probably because of the emotional cognative sp? thinking) Anyways...Living simpler can make a lot of the stress of this go away. Just not having so many things in the first place and refusing to buy things you don't need is a good start. And not impulse buying. I think women like to fel renewed sometimes so we get something and it feels god to have it but then we get bored with it because there are way more options to choose from and we want something else and it starts all over. Some people do this more then others. But I feel like if the focus of peoples lives was not so much on happiness through objects we could all be a bit happier and start finding happiness through relationships with ourself our families and with each other instead.

 

right, which is why i wanna say to a lot of these women, get the fuck over it. i think a lot of my buying, when i do it, it situated around making my home comfie and inviting. a nesting impulse that i've always been prone to. i don't worry so much over my physical appearance, at least not to the point of obsessing, because i've seen where that leads. but my home has to say to someone "come in and sit! i've got cookies." when i was living at home, the first thing i did when i got a job was to start feathering my nest, which was my bedroom. i'd always managed to scrounge up the big stuff, maneuvered the lighting just so, and then got a few little things to make it appealing. little wonder my entire family would just come in and sit down whenever. however, these are superficial trappings of comfort and warmth. the exterior is often a flag for the interior, so superficiality DOES have it's place.

 

IronGoth, I honestly think you are really the only one here who has read, and still quotes the S.C.U.M. Manifesto. You keep using it, it is NOT a represetitive of feminism, it was the ranting of a psychotic killer weirdo (or killer wannabe, as the case may be, Andy Warhol lived) Ain't nobody subscribing to the S.C.U.M. Manifesto, honey.

What does this have to do with womyn? It has to do with a society of people who want conspicuous consumption, buying a Hummer or a Monster Truck (Usually dude purchases) isn't any different, or less "superficial" than lipstick and makeup. And a Hell of a lot more expensive.