Are Women Just as Freaky as Men Are?

I have been operating under the belief that men and women have different brains, that men have more testosterone which gives them higher sex drives, that women are wired to want monogamy and to only have sex with their boyfriends.

I felt alienated from women. I feared being judged and harassed. I was having fake fights with people in my head about it. So I decided to only interact with a Circle of Trust which included some family, friends, sexual partners, etc., about 20 people. With everyone else I kept it at hi/bye. I also felt proud to be different from the norm.

I was talking to a friend of mine today and he said women are just as promiscuous as men are and that they just keep it a secret. He said he thinks even my sister is a freak and just doesn't let me know.

So I got to thinking: if all these women are just secretive, and they can socialize with whoever, and just keep their business to themselves, and get careers where they have to socialize and they're thriving, maybe I should too.

Thoughts?

 

i aint read that cause women are worst

 

Some women can be pretty wild, if they know nobody will find out. My wife loved to flaunt when we went out of town. She done lots of things, she would never do in our circle of friends at home. And she was kind of a public figure in her work place, so kept a low profile. Being an older couple not everybody had cell phones, and could snap your picture, at anytime.

I traveled for my job, when I was younger. I met several women willing to have affairs. For the simple fact, they knew I wouldn't be telling anyone.

 

Your male friend is right.

Also the science you mention believing in, about men's and women's brains being different is true literally, but in terms of observable behavior it is not applicable.

What's different is that the mechanisms in the brain responsible for HOW one gender or the other is/gets turned on follows a slightly different process. But that's not what you're looking or discussing in this thread.

What you are discussing is whether the line of promiscuity, or being open with your sex life with various people, occurs equally in both genders generally speaking. The answer to this is YES!

So your male friend, is right, and I also agree with him. But remember we are generally speaking, just like not all guys are "promiscuous" and not all women are "promiscuous", they're are differences in the underlying reasons why each person is or isn't gonna do sexual things with so-and-so.



Also, I would provide HUGE swaths of caution to anybody (but especially women) who decided to use sexual favors to get higher positions in the workplace because there's a HUGE potential for backlash and opens the door for higher up males in a company for example to just abuse you and spread gossip about you.

It might get you promoted but it just as easily could get you and everyone else fired if Human Resources of that company find out about it. To add to that, it might even get you blacklisted from competing companies because it's on-record of what you got fired for.

There's also a huge setup for a 3rd party, to gain sexual favors and use/abuse you by threatening to out you if you don't do those favors for them as well.

Just some things to think about, I look forward to hearing your reply Samantha.

 

Thanks for responding. If what you say is true, I'm very annoyed with women for being so secretive. They're even secretive on an anonymous message board: recall my asking how many men they've had and getting reticent answers of 4 and 5. Why are women so secretive?

Growing up, my girlfriends apparently didn't even masturbate, even up to college. That was something I thought everyone did, something that was as natural as eating, but by all accounts they didn't. In middle school I was bullied for having oral sex. Later I learned that that was common. So what gives?

I took pride in being different and rare. I was even looking into joining LaVeyan Satanism which is all about the individual. I was distanced from society and from other women because I felt different. But I was happy with the situation.

Now that I'm no different from anyone else, there's no reason why I should limit my contact with people. The silver lining in the cloud is that I can pursue any career, not just loner type ones.

I'm confused though: I thought the hormone testosterone controlled sex drive and that men have 15 times more testosterone than women do...

 

Sexually, the average female is more conservative than the average male, but the full spectrum of behavior ranges all the way from one extreme to the other, for both sexes. Some people you encounter may be far from average. People can also change, depending on the social situations they encounter.

My closest female friends in college were just as wild as any of the guys we knew, but we were aware that we were far from average. The guys told us that constantly. In frustrated voices, they would ask us, "Why can't all the girls be like you?"

I think your idea of a trusted inner circle is a good one. It takes time to figure out if a new friend is really cool, or if they are going to judge you and stab you in the back. Trust has to be earned, not handed out like Halloween candy. The older you get, the harder it becomes to figure out who is who.

We get tired of being judged and mistreated by prudes.

 

Thanks for responding. That was very insightful. I wonder, what is true for men and women generally speaking? In terms of the majority.

If you don't mind my asking, do you tend to keep to an inner circle or are you social with the general public? Do you feel different or rare? What do you do for a living? It's up to you if you want to answer.

 

From the theories of probability and statistics, do you know what the standard bell-shaped curve looks like on a graph? It has a big bulge near the statistical average, and drops down to small numbers near both extreme ends, like the edges of a big bell. If you get honest answers from a large group of men and women on their sexual views as per conservative versus liberal values, I'm convinced that you're always going to get two bell curves, with the women's average being more conservative than the men's average. Everything I've ever seen or read points to this being the case.

Of course, surveys don't separate out genetics versus societal input. My answers on various sexual opinion questions would have been very different before and after college, because of getting to know so many people with different points of view. My DNA didn't change, but my social situation did.

Most of the people who know me have no idea how I feel about anything that is the slightest bit controversial. I have no interest in fighting pointless battles, and losing. People in the business world know that I'm good at what I do for a living, and that's all they need to know. The few people who know me extremely well are friends who have known me for a long time, and accept me as I am. There is only one exception to that; a younger woman who showed me that she thinks pretty much like me, and proved that she can be trusted not to run her mouth to the wrong people.

I know that I'm unusual. I've always known it. As an adult, I only feel like I have a real peer group when I go to places where the wild crowd gathers, like New Orleans, Atlanta, and San Francisco. Sometimes I can relate to strippers, if they are the kind who are not just in it for the money. Even online, a lot of people (male and female) are quick to criticize, when I speak my mind about anything sexual. I try not to worry about it, since there's nothing I can do about it. I am what I am.

I've had several jobs, but I currently run a small business that operates in an office setting. It's a very liberal place. My only major rule is, get your work done, and try to get along with everybody. Anything else goes. So far, so good! It's working out okay.

 

i have seen no evidence that promiscuous women exist outside of the internet.

or, it could get you hired at sleazier competing companies.

 

But if there are so many promiscuous women, then you're not unusual.

Also, don't you feel bad that so many people you associate with don't know the real you?

 

From what I've seen, women are far more open about the intimacy of sexuality than men are. When talking amongst themselves, a man's description of an encounter will often be limited to something like "first she gave me a blowjob, then I fucked her", whereas women then to be far more descriptive about the more intricate details, from beginning to end.

Women are also far more open about masturbation & sex toys than men are - so much as to regularly having Sex Toy Parties, such as Anne Summers, in the UK (I believe the equivalent in US is Victoria's Secrets), where they will discuss & compare vibrators & dildos, etc. Men, on the other hand, more often than not, will not only blatantly deny that they have ever used a sex toy of any kind, but will also try to make out that they hardly ever masturbate anyway - if at all.

 

It depends on the location. See below:

You very much need to spend some quality time in New Orleans, Atlanta, Las Vegas, Montreal, or a major winter ski resort. Indiana is never going to deliver for you, unless you make enough money to hire a high-end escort in Indianapolis.

Not at all. I think most of them would treat me like dirt, if they knew my past. My whole career could go down the drain, and I'm not old enough to retire. They are so wrapped up in their kids and church projects and money. They don't even notice that I rarely talk about myself.

If I could get away with it, it wouldn't bother me at all to walk naked down the middle of Main Street at noon, and get fucked by a hot stranger in the town square. Most business people here would think that makes me no better than somebody who murders people at random. I don't get that. I say no victim, no crime.

Yeah, if we're among like-minded friends, we're going to tell it all. My oldest friends keep no secrets from each other.

 

I've read on several occasions that metabolism in men needs testosterone for non-sexual functions too.

 

You don't feel bad that you're hanging out with people who don't accept you fully? They don't even know you and if they knew you they would mistreat you. Yet you hang out with them.

 

OP: You asked if women are just as freaky as men, but then you used the word "promiscuous" in the details - so I need to clarify, for my own sake....

I actually think I'm MORE freaky than a lot of men, I just love sex - hot, dirty, passionate sex. HOWEVER, I am not promiscuous. I prefer to be in love and in a relationship to have sex with someone. Ok, so to go a bit further, when I'm at work, I am quiet for the most part and very mannerly -- I don't tell people my business or my preferences -- but under that soft outter attire lies the silky black thigh highs with a matching bustier.....because I like to be sexy and am sexy and keep it on the low. No one would ever guess that I sometimes write the kind of posts I do here.
I'm just a good girl with a dirty mind and a sexual appetite.
I can't speak for all women, some are hoes.

 

I meant promiscuous, like seeking variety.

Why are you calling promiscuous women hos?

 

You are using an incorrect word to describe what you mean. Promiscuous means:
pro·mis·cu·ous (pr-msky-s)
adj.
1. Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
2. Lacking standards of selection; indiscriminate.
3. Casual; random.

...that's being a hoe.

 

Since college, I haven't done a lot of hanging out with the girls. I've been spending my free time mostly with men who appreciate and enjoy my wild side. I've also stayed in touch with a small number of old college friends who live close enough that we can get together a few times a year. Their social situations are similar to mine.

If I could change the world and make people more tolerant of other viewpoints and lifestyles, I would do it. But what can I do? Nothing.

 

I don't really see the value in comparing us to men. We are just as we are. We ought to be that way free of comparison, judgement, or silly rules.

I hope I'm not sitting on my deathbed thinking: "Fuck, I'm really glad I made everyone else happy."

 

Especially true with medical stuff. Extra testosterone gives women more of an androgynous or butch look. I've never met a slutty party girl who looked like that. There has to be something else going on there.

I guess the only value in comparing is whatever it can do to help me understand men better.