Are These Yanks For Real Or What

gorgeous, beautiful, vast and varied. i love travelling here. camping is pure joy.

 

I would like to visit one day...especially the countryside.
I can understand why many Americans tend to travel around the US instead of going abroad. You have everything you need!

 

try to avoid southern california and florida. (i was born in one and raised in the other, don't like either). except for the florida keys, now that's a fun and quirky place. but i'm a sucker for the southwest. deserts, mountains, there's ouray which is such a gorgeous little gem of a town. you can go naked hot springing in ridgeway, just outside of ouray. but IN ouray, you can rent a sweet little room with it's own spring. the camping is unbelievable. but you have to watch out for bears and mountain lions. some people aren't very good about camping and packing out their trash. i really like chicago basin, outside durango. and then, when you're all wore out, you can pop in to beautiful ft. collins, hit all the micro brew tours and get free beer (of good quality, amazingly enough). it's a sweet town, the fort. college town deluxe. i love it here.

 

Sounds perfect! I don't think I'll ever really head to Florida... that's where Disney etc is right?

I suppose if I ever visited the states I'd want to avoid most of the uber-popular places, apart from visiting the odd city here and there because I'd love to see the skyscrapers and organised blocks/neighbourhoods etc! I've heard up north on the Canadian border is supposed to be good. I was told about some massive lakes etc, can't remember the names of them now though!

 

the great lakes. i haven't been there yet. montana is profoundly glorious, but i'm still too afraid to camp there, due to the grizzlies. they'd as soon kill you as look at you, so far as they're concern, we're trespassing. i'm not going to argue with them.

 

Holy shit that was hilarious, I bet he didn't even have to spend that long getting that nine minutes. I know tons of people who would have answered the same way.

 

If you ever visit Lake Ontario (one of the Great Lakes) don't go swimming and don't go near it on a hot summer's day ... damn does it pen and ink.

i lived about a 20 minute drive to part of the coast of Lake Ontario. The best thing I'd say about Lake Ontario is that there are bridges built over it to allow young NY'ers to get to Canada without having to take a boat.

 

Ooooo sounds interesting. I totally forgot about the amazing wildlife you get over there. Bears and mountain lions aren't things that I have to consider here. Infact, I thought a mountain lion was something created in south park. Duh!

 

lol. and there's wolves, too. coyotes (watch your kids), bobcats (they're pretty cute), elk, deer, antelope. if you are inclined to pray with our wilder brethren, you'll not find a better place, perhaps places just as good, though.

 

what about moose? I've always wanted to look at one of those!

 

we had some reintroduced around here, but they're not as prevelant here as elsewhere. you have to look out for them, tough, they're mean, nasty beasts.

 

The grand canyon and all the other canyons and dips. Regarding countryside, I can only think of prairies.

America's version of a small event is probably Madison cubed gardens.

 

yeah, you really don't know much. we have flea circuses, too.

 

True. I admit i don't have a 612 IQ. America is a big country. everything associated with America is BIG. Marlboro country, THe highway, route 33, the Big Apple.

 

y'know.. I kinda laughed at first but then... I started to go pale with just how frightening it is...
i feel sick now
Am i being anti-democratic in saying uneducated fuckwits should not be allowed to vote when there's nuclear weapons and uranium tipped bullets involved? :1eye: Hmmm... I suppose so, I'll get my coat.

 

I hate America about 115-120%. I hate all Americans, in fact I hate Americans so much that I hate more Americans than there even are.

Holy vanity signature picture, Carlfan!

 

i wallow in your hate like the capitalist pig i am.

 

here we go, thought this would be an appropriate spot, i don't care if it's not really john cleese, i hear it in his voice anyway. i particularly like the bit about football players being nancies.

A Message from John Cleese to the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus
to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over
all states, Commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which She
does
not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be
disbanded (a questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether
any of you noticed).

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following Rules
are introduced with immediate effect: (You should look up "revocation" in
the Oxford English Dictionary)

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping
half the letters and the suffix - ize will be replaced by the suffix - ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your
behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the
reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
or
therapists.
The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not
adult enough to be independent.

6. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to
sort
things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not
grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no
longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable
peeler.
A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in
public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your
own good.
When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left with immediate effect.
At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without he
benefit of conversion Tables.
(Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British
sense
of humour).

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) -- roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips.
Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you
insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps.
Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup
but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer
at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as Beer,
and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be
referred to as Lager.
American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that
all
can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys.
Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English
characters.
Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in 'Four Weddings and a
Funeral' was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese
grater.

13. You will cease playing American football.
There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer.
Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which
has
some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a
rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch
of
nancies).

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an
event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America.
Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,
your error is understandable.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. Tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs,
with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

Regards
John Cleese

 

The problem with the USA is that its full of Americans - I mean honestl;y New Yorke would be great if a few million thick-as-pig-shit yanks didnt lkive there and anyone who thinks I am generalising only has top watch Rambo to realise how thick america is

 

I KNOW, but i just can't let go of my bowie knife and automatic weapons. i mean, what would match my shoes?