Are there any women who get turned on by shyness?

Hi there--if anyone reads this.

To keep a long story short I recently began dating women, and well, I am terrified of them. I went out with this great girl Saturday and was literally shaking when we were about to kiss. I feel confident about my looks and intelligence, but I feel like my nervous demeanor isn't really setting the mood to 'fuck'. I feel like my body and my face are sexually attractive, but not necessarily my personality so its hard to get the confidence to have sex.

So is shyness(assuming the person is physically attractive) a turn on for anyone? Like does having sex with someone really nervous and inexperienced seem erotic at all? I know this all sounds like a I am basically grovelling for reassurance, but I honestly do not know if I believe any women would be turned on by my antics. I know for me personally I get off to thinking about someone really sexually aggressive, but that is because I am on the other side of the spectrum

If anyone has any experiences they'd like to share I would love to hear about them

Thanks for reading!

 

probably...
you need more experience. I get shaky excited sometimes when meeting new women. Like today.. I was talking with this a tattooed up chick and I got the shakes a few times... but just ignore it... its just anxiety... ignore it and it will go away.

 

It's kind of cute to know that guys get nervous around girls. Is it a turn on? Do I find it erotic? Meh. I wouldn't call it erotic. It's cute. I say try to be more confident. Chances are she won't know you are inexperienced unless you REALLY mess something up which would be pretty hard to do. I mean, sex is pretty basic. You just have to read her reactions to see if it feels good or not to her.

 

Endearing.

 

I am about to say what Ruby said. Cute, well kinda but get yer shit together and go for it and I dont mean plunge at her. Measure your steps but know its what you want and you have to do it.
My BF has admitted he was nervous at first and afraid it was crashing a few times because he wasnt sure what he was reading from my reactions to some things but he has more confidence now in our relationship. Its cute that he was but I didnt know it at the time.
He holds himself well and was able to cover his fears and go forward. Best of all he didnt back down and let it slide away when he thought maybe he should.
He is a cool find and does and says lots to make me get butterflies in my belly telling me I like all that he is. If you feel that (and he says he gets it too) then there is definately something there. I hope it never goes away for either of us.
Those butterflies are likely a good thing, means you like what you see, I just hope it works out for you or you get them again over someone else later. Makes ya feel like a teen again looking back at your first time with "The Hots" for someone. Remember that feeling?

 

yeah, it can be a turn on for guys. you're screwed though; women don't care about any of that other shit, they just want a guy that's arrogant. which is basically the opposite of shy.

unless he has money. that can trump shyness.

 

I think females think it's cute from the omniscient perspective, like when it is presented in narrative form and it is explained why the said guy has the shakes and stuff.

However, in the moment, if a girl or women were to pickup on it, I think that it would make them nervous because they would attribute the guy's nervousness, as a reflection of something they did wrong or perhaps they pissed off their date or something.

Girls/women, especially if they are new to dating themselves, are very introspective and so yeah sure shyness is cute and all, but over time it can be a real drag , and it can be a hinderance if the lady assumes your shaking or shy from something she's doing which becomes a turnoff which leads to uncomfortable feelings on a date which KILLS attraction.


The exception to this is that the girl knows and attributes the honest reason why the guy is nervous or shy, and knows how to supplement the date and take the lead without feeling awkward doing so. Ladies with more experience or those with confident personalities have no trouble doing this in my view. As long as the guy can shake off the nerves after she takes the lead the outing should be a good time for all.


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Any ladies want to critique this advice and feedback I've given here?

 

Okay...I am primarily attracted to shy and/or quiet men...but oftentimes shy. Like painfully so. I wouldn't say it's a turn on at all though. It doesn't make me want to sleep with him anymore than, let's say a man who can't stop talking about himself. I just find it interesting when people are introspective, subtle, anxious and quietly excited.

It can and definitely does get very, very annoying when it goes on too long and it is obvious the guy is very fearful of doing anything wrong. In that case, it looks like he is too full of himself to really experience and appreciate what's happening in each moment. If a woman feels like she's doing all the work to keep things going, I think that is typically a turn off. So while she may be attracted to a shy man, she expects him to be less shy with her as time goes on and if he's not, he becomes a lot less interesting.

Also, I think you're right as well monkjr. That's just another take on the situation.

 

I could not disagree with you more, women dont want arrogant men. They want men with some back bone, balls of their own. A yes man is a total turn off. A nervous man is a turn off. If he is nervous and can admit it but can stand up to the task we are not turned off.
A man who can admit he has a soft spot or a bit of a weekness is awesome, just not where they stand back instead of making a move of their own to make something happen rather then wait for her ques to do anything.
I like when my guy says "get ready, we are going out" and I have no idea where. One night he did that and we landed at a nice restaurant, not that I like eating out much and he knows it but it was a nice surprise. He doesnt do that often but he does other things that switch it up.
I had to go put in a prescription one day. I told him on the phone I was going to do that and he texted me a while later and said "if you are still home, get your prescription ready" then he texted me again a few minutes later and said "open your front door". And there he was waiting for me. We did that and did a little grocery shopping while we were out. Two things I didnt have to do alone that day even tho I have my own car and could have and did plan too.
He has asked me to come with him to go do something he wanted to do like stop in at a friends for a visit or to drop something off then says "Where now?" "Huh?" I ask,,, "Where do you wanna go?
He has balls but they are not made of steel and he doesnt try to act like they are. Thats the kind of man most of us like I think.
I would not go ten feet with an arrogent guy. Fuck them,,,,

 

Nice add on to my post it definitely complements it to see my advice examined from both gender's perspectives. There are some details of how you would interpret the situation that I as a man missed.


I also have to laugh though because your post also proves I'minmyunderwear's point that:

Shyness = Arrogance, boring, drag

Arrogance = Confidence, exciting, fun

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And the pickup artist community is right, most women won't event grant a male a 2nd date if the first one was dull and boring.

And women expect the shyness to go away fast, whereas fast means within a few hours or by the 2nd date.

Women should know this but, guys don't change that fast.

 

I don't know about all women but I think women who are into shy men are either shy themselves or already know how to deal with and appreciate shyness. I think its really important to be honest and admit you're shy otherwise it can be interpreted wrongly. Shyness can definitely look like arrogance sometimes. As for me I've been entertaining a shy man or two or three for years. I'm not impatient but you have to get out if your comfort zone and show initiative sometimes and transparency as much as possible.

 

So basically I disagree monk Jr. With your equivalents. I don't think of arrogant people as fun at all but it is not impossible to be arrogant and shy at the same time.

 

don't exasperate it. be honest with your shyness, like explain it. it can get you out of a few situations. other than that I dunno. Hope your girl isn't like the grim outook jimmny explained. go for normal people. not really hot hos that only date really confident guys?

 

I'm not attracted to shy guys but i am very shy. I need someone outgoing enough to bring me out of my shell. However, i have a couple of female friends who are very outgoing and assertive and they do tend to chase after shy guys. They are good at drawing shy men out of their shells.

 

I am sometimes attracted to shy guys. It is nice if I can make a shy man comfortable enough to come out of his shell. And I very much like if and when I can be his first partner.

 

Sometimes shy men are super cute. As long as they're not really self conscious. That's a major turn off for me.