Are Relationshps Even desired Anymore

'a relationship' that's fully functional does entail 'the whole ball of wax' imo. Or are you hinting at polygamy or something?

 

It's crazy ... I was never much of a career guy, but I've always set my standards high ... At least when it came to relationships. From friendship to romance to even potential casuals. Drinking has proved an issue once or twice but over the span of say 20 years I've been a very picky man.

Friends are few and far between. Relationships of the romantic kind nonexistent, and I don't do casuals .... I require certain qualities and characteristics and that's just the way it is.

20 years and I've gained great success, yet have lost everything. I'm now homeless, having trouble getting any real medical or dental help, I've lost 20 to 30 lbs and I look like hell on a really bad day. So, after 20 years waiting for quality I feel those 20 years have been wasted. So, solo I go ... I have no desire to watch porn or buy robot sex whatever, nor am I interested in casual. I don't even want to go to strip clubs anymore.


I've gotten such a bad taste left in my mouth and only after the last three four years, I could care less if I ever touch another woman again. Friends? Are there any worth their salt? Family? They have their own lives and I'm outta sight so I would assume outta mind too. My best bet at this point is to survive until I die, and even though I find using Jesus as a scapegoat and refused to do so myself, hope there's a life after this one that'll be kinder than this one was.

Love is a foreign language anymore, even the friendship kind that Jesus displayed, which is the kind I have towards him ... I refuse to allow it. My life my shortcomings, my fuck ups, my mistakes ... I'll be accountable myself. I don't throw people under buses.

It's a shame ... I'm a pretty ok friend to have.

 

If you refuse to allow any kind of friendship how ok of a friend can you be? I agree it's a shame you refuse such a thing when you're craving it.

 

I speak to people, I'm not very talkative aside from online though. I think I may be about done with that too. Have you ever explained what an orange is like to the point of showing someone to peeling it to allowing them to see and taste one? It's a lot like that but minus the understanding of what an orange is and how an orange tastes and smells and feels even after the fact.

 

You saying you want to shape and form and put on the makeup? Some use clay, others use stone, but I guess wax would work until things got a little heated.

But yeah, at one time I thought there was nothing better than to become friends develop unyeilding trust and from that on to a more intimate type of relationship. Anymore, I believe that's even possible.

 

yeah, that's pretty much what i was going to say before i saw that it was already said. it's not guys choosing this over the less convenient real thing, it's guys settling for this because the real thing won't take them.

 

Some of these comments are amusing. Just the thought of a man fleeing to anther country because his wife is asking for a divorce. lol

 

Wait, we can do that?

 

Yes, I feel a relationship is important.

 

They are important, but who can be trusted anymore? Ok, so I think friendship is the most secure type of .... No jealousy, less worry, etc. Friendship is the most important aspect of any relationship too. I wouldn't call someone a friend if they weren't trust worthy, but then move on to a more intimate/romantic type and given you can even find someone you like enough to develop one with, and the stakes get so high you wonder if it's even worth it to take the risk.

Friends are difficult enough to come by, but romance and intimacy and finding someone compatible enough for that and the odds lessen to next to nothing, which makes it even more urgent ... You strive to keep one like that but then the lines can get crossed, jealousy can creep in, worry sets in, and then the stability of weakens.

Are they worth it? It seems easier, a lot less desired, but easier to not let the heart get too involved and keep things casual, given they can be trusted not to bring back unwanted things in the relationship. With all the diseases and dangers present in today's world, I almost feel as if it's better to be alone. So much risk and heart hurt hurts and betrayal hurts and ... Love isn't nearly as easy as it once was. Sex either it seems. I'm so drawn to both it drives me insane how I won't go there until I have someone solid enough to go there with, and given how the world is today, finding that kind of someone is a lot like finding a specific grain of sand on the entire west coast beachfront.

 

I really like what you wrote and agree with much of it. However, I have a more optimistic view of relationships.

 

Which is? I guess I haven't been able to experience one yet. You know, the type of that lends that kind of comfort and optimism. Honestly, even a good friend is hard to come by. At least that is how it seems. Much less a relationship complete with the intimacy and sensually and romance I myself require. I've gotten so jaded over the years it's almost like I shut down, and fear even putting myself in a situation where I'm the most vulnerable one. Trust is so damn important and it can take years to build enough to even begin to take next steps, ya know?

Maybe I'm too cautious or too demanding. I don't know.

 

No, don't change a thing about yourself..You're a very interesting and cool guy.. Somewhere out there someone waits for you. .

 

It seems that life itself a waiting game. Back in my younger years, when on a road some would have deemed less travelled, waiting was common place. We'd wait until what was needed was ready, even when (sometimes) another of what we were waiting for was ready. I guess that had much to do with knowing and less to do with loyalty back then. Quality is of utmost importance.

Love the sketch, btw.

 

Have you ever been alone for so long that you're unsure if you could even live with someone as a couple again? Or ... If you did fall in love again, after being alone for so long, have you thought about the end game? I mean, when one of you dies and you're left alone again? The though alone makes wary of getting so involved, given my past and understanding how badly heart hurt hurts. I want, I need, I'm scared, I'm alone, I don't want, I need, I'm scared, I'm alone, I can't but I need I need to want and need, but still I can't. Why? In the end, I can't stand the thought of loving so deeply then losing her or for another to feel that kind of loss after all is said and done.

 

That's why I let go so easily yet never quit loving.

 

sure, but i'd still give it a try.

 

I don't do relationships any more, when I feel the need for satisfaction I just have casual sex, which as I've got older I feel the urge mire often

 

Casual sex just seems empty and relationships too damn complicated it seems. I love the way falling in Love feels but hate how complicated it can be. I'm not even sure what I need anymore. On one hand, I want to, on the other, I somehow know a relationship won't satisfy me. Maybe in the beginning when it's still fresh, but after the fresh wears off may be a different story.

But then who falls in love knowing it won't last.

 

I find casual sex very exciting, you may think I'm a slut as most women do.
I love casual sex, one night stands are so exciting. .meeting a man in a bar and then having sex with him outside, skirt pulled up round my waist, panties down round one ankle, top and bra pushed up over my breasts and him just using me for sex.