Are Intentional Communities Realistic?

we have visited many in the 24 years of marriage and have been deeply disappointed in how they are developed (or not), the attitudes of the groups, the exclusivity of most of them and general lack of work ethic and ability to honor agreements.

What is your experience? Are we as a species even capable of living in an IC?:daisy:

 

We originally lived in groups such as those out of necessity. Now there are so many groups you get the opportunity and obligation to be very very picky.

 

People tend to create niches over a period of time. The problems tend to arise when new people attempt to burrow into an already established niche. The original ones then tend to behave rather negatively toward those attempting to make an honest, genuine place into the niche.

It is absurd, but it is human nature. It is one of the reasons I abhor being around other people.

 

I've been living in intentional communities for over a dozen years, the Cabro Community, The Oakland Morehouse, and the Lafayette Morehouse. I've also lived in 5 or 6 group houses or group apartments.

I think that Group living is harder than living alone. Its also more rewarding, and a heck of a lot more fun. I've found that the groups that had a shared worldview tended to be the best - then you have a shared set of agreements and viewpoints within which to discuss things.

All three of the groups I mentioned above are big on personal responsibility - the idea that you are responsible for the way your life is. This is not a very popular point of view in the world today.

The two Morehouses have been around since 1968 and I know people who have lived there over 30 years as well as people who have lived there for only a couple of years.

Its very different than living alone, and if you think its bad when you live with someone who washes fewer dishes than you do, wait until you live with someone who washes way more dishes than you do - its all relative. IMHO people are hard to get along with sometimes. And unless you have some basic skills most groups break up when the going gets tough.

 

FWIW the monthly open house at the Oakland Morehouse is Friday, October 11, 2013, 8:00pm until 10:00pm - its a wine and cheese party. The Oakland Morehouse has been an intentional community continuously since 1968. Its a three story 110+ year old Victorian near Lake Merritt, in Oakland, CA.

 

Frankly I think it is realistic, but usually more so for communities that are extremely exclusive. It makes it hard to find a good one for many of us, but that exclusivity gives those communities a more solid foundation to actually survive and thrive.

The other thing that works well are the co-housing communities with very little structure to them. Just that everyone pay their rent and as long as there is plenty of space for everyone, those seem to usually work out really well.

I think it is also possible for the in-betweens, but it's much more difficult, and requires luck in my opinion.