I was hoping I could get a little guidance. I feel trapped in my situation. I've become unbearably isolated. My friends and I have increasingly different interests. The things I care about when I speak with them cause the conversation to stutter and I’m seen as a drag. I've always seen myself as a nurturer, and as such in the social group I've always tried to maintain social cohesion, or at least that is what I think I am doing. Little things, that I probably exaggerate the significance of in my own mind, like remembering everyone’s likes and dislikes and putting music, or a TV program or whatever, most agreeable to everyone present, little things like that I think about all the time. Whenever anyone needs any help, I’m happy do whatever I can. I have to feign interest in sports though in order to have a pleasant conversation. In my apartment, and at other social gatherings its always, and I mean always, centered around sports. Endless conversations about hockey or baseball or fantasy football. I used to have a ternary interest in some of those things, sort of, but that was just to shoot the breeze and be able to talk about the local sporting club to be friendly. Now I’m trying to do my own thing myself, but they are offended that I’m not watching a game with them, even though they get I don’t really care about those types of things as much as they do. I think, and I don’t know, but I have a more feminine thought process, I’ve always been more at ease with female friends than male ones. I’m very sensitive, though I rarely feel like it is safe to externally express my emotions. And while I’ve never denied that to anyone, I think my core friends who are male saw me to be more similar to themselves except with some eccentricities and radical leftist views that I would get over after I graduated from college. They in turn, from my perspective, have grown out of the activities that we use to mutually enjoy together. My roommates also have the attitude if you are depressed, why don’t you just get over it? I can’t talk to them, and I’ve tried a few times but they just don’t get it. The answer to my problem is simple, you probably are thinking, find new friends. But I’m an introverted mess. I don’t dislike anyone new I meet, but I’m guarded and aloof at first. I think I developed a dependency on the social group itself, the only way I could get any sort of intimacy with anyone would have to come about from a friend of a friend who would start coming to social events, and over time I would be able to open up to that individual. Though I can’t now even show my actual self within the social group, or if I do I am ostracized, so even that seems impossible. Tim Leary said to find the others. And I know they exist and I really want to find them. But if I knew where they were, I’m still reserved and the impression of me is off the mark. And I know, just be yourself, don’t worry about how others think, and I’m doing better at that a little, but its just in certain social situations, the stimuli is so overwhelming, and as hard as I try I can’t get past that completely. I’m just living alone in my own world in my head, not able to share that with anyone. If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks for reading.