Anxiety and seeing doctors?

I can't really define my anxiety, nothing specific really causes it, I just... have it. All the time. Although I do have social anxiety and don't like being around large groups of people, especially people I don't know, like in schools, stores, the mall, etc... But I find my anxiety to be the worst when I'm alone, if that makes sense... that's when I get my panic attacks, and fear, and everything... it just enhances all the negative effects when I have nobody to talk to, to distract me.

This sounds pretty bad, but I think the majority of my anxiety is caused from my family and being at home... We are very dysfunctional to say the least... my brother has some serious issues and is constsntly depressed and stays in his room for months at a time and doesn't even go to school anymore.. he hasnt gone to school in almost half a year now and he's only 13... but my mom can't do anything about it, I wake up to screaming and yelling most mornings, and my mom has a bunch of medical issues that I don't want to get into, life threatening ones, and she's basically told me that it was my fault... because it happened when I was in her womb, apparently there were a ton of complications while i was being born and she was in labour for an extraordinary amount of time and ended up getting a c-section that was done really sloppy and now... 18 years later... she finally figures out that it was me who caused all these issues, the doctor legitmately told her that..

I know she didn't mean it like that, she was drinking at the time she told me... but i could feel that resentment... Like I should have been a miscarriage like the first baby she had, then there would have been no issues. And there's really no escaping this dysfunction because when I go to visit my dads its not much better, he means well but he is definatly an alcoholic.. he's not a violent one, but i never see him not wasted, and its depressing because I think its going to kill him..

theres a bunch of other stuff but this is long enough now, all i'm saying is I hate being at home... but i also hate going out and being around people

 

i take Prozac and abilify for my anxiety it helps alot

 

i've felt anxiety before but never felt the need to beat it or manage it.. it's just an emotion, even if it's irrational it's probably happening for a base reason... i used to get slightly anxious in basically any social situation with anyone i wasn't familiar with.. friends of friends, cashiers, even people i walked by on the street. then i just started chatting with these strangers. wasn't awkward or anything, like i thought it would be. you've just got to learn how to crush that runnaway train of a thought pattern that puts you in that anxious state of mind

 

those are very complex issues... i would say without a doubt that you would benefit from therapy to help you come to terms with the feelings that come from your situation... it doesn't sound like you need to be medicated, you need to consistently (probably weekly) address all of that with someone good- good therapists are out there, and can really be a lot of help. until all of this stuff is addressed, you're going to continue to feel anxiety- it's not your fault, but it's the reality of the situation you're in

are you moving out soon? i see you're 18- do you have plans to go to college or move away in the fall?

you probably hate being around people for the same source reasons as you hate being at home

 

For sure, you need proper talk sessions, no drugs.

It is possible that your situation didn't play well with your previous use of psychedelic (or any) drugs, and that use partly triggered your current state.

But if it's in your head, it can always be fixed. Be positive, and find a counselor

 

I think I've always had a bit of anxiety... But I think its safe to say that a bad trip or two that i've had with phycadelics really pushed it over the edge..

Therapy probably would be for the best... But I dunno about it. To be honest I grew up in a very anti-therapy house, my dad always used to rant on about how they know nothing and try and convince you that you have issues, because they make more money that way... Which kind of makes sense. Its the same way doctors get people hooked on meds...

So thats been kind of engraved in my mind, that its all just a big scam... But I dunno.

I would like to move out, but i'm not really financially able to... working part time at minimum wage... I would also like to go to school in september, but also dunno if i can afford it... And I don't want student loans.

 

if your option is working at mcdonalds forever or going into debt with student loans, i'd take the student loans.

finding a good therapist helped me a lot (CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy), but i'm lucky because my parents offered to pay for a bunch of sessions for me, otherwise i wouldn't have been able to afford it. if you do go to school, make sure you register with student services because most schools will offer free counselling sessions and will make arrangements to make things easier for you. i know someone with terrible social anxiety who would avoid class out of fear of having the professor single her out, so the school made all of her profs aware of the issue and they didn't call on her unless she volunteered.

and i say this in every thread about mental health, but you really should make sure that you're exercising regularly, eating well (get that omega 3 - fish, fish oil, etc), taking vitamins if needed (vitamin B12, and vitamin D in the winter), and try laying off the weed for a little while. it helps some people, but it makes it worse for others. go a month or two without it, and see how things go. i found that it didn't really make a difference with my anxiety level (unless i smoke when i'm having a panic attack, then it tends to make it way worse).

in canada you will probably be able to get a prescription for ativan (lorazepam) pretty quickly, usually they start with a pretty small dose (0.5 or 1mg). i don't take them very often, but sometimes just the knowledge that you have that safety net in your pocket is enough to help you calm down.

it's good to be open and honest about it with your girlfriend and your friends. i found that hiding it just made me feel like it was something that i was doing wrong and should be ashamed of. when i finally started talking to my friends about it, i'd say about half of them told me that they have also struggled with anxiety or depression.

i ended up dropping out of university because of my anxiety, and i regret it constantly now. you'll always be able to justify not taking a risk and not doing something if you try hard enough... make sure that you really examine your reasoning for thinking about not going to school - is it a rational decision to keep working at a minimum wage job that you hate instead of going to school, or are you thinking that way because you're anxious about it? my advice, for what it's worth, is to go to school, live in residence, expand your worldview, and have a ton of fun.

 

Weed has definitely helped with my anxiety.

 

I find it crazy how so many people use weed to help their anxiety. For me it's the complete opposite. I only realized it was having such a negative effect after I stopped smoking for a while. I know everyone reacts differently but in my experience weed doesn't do anything good if you're having mental issues (depression, anxiety, etc.) I'll probably get a lot of hate for this, but smoking weed all the time isn't good for you mentally or physically. People like to act like it's this miracle plant with no down sides, but using a psychedelic on a regular basis is never going to be good for your mental health. It's well known that prolonged use can trigger underlying mental illnesses. I'd suggest you take a break from all drugs for a few months and see how you feel. Don't rely on anxiety medications either, it's not going to solve the underlying issue.