I've got a question that is just aimed at those of you who have already been in one or more threesomes (or are currently in one.) In threesomes like mine from long ago (which consisted of my wife and I and a close male friend), did your spouse/SO ever go out and have sex alone with the other guy/gal, without you? If so, how did you feel about it? If not, why not? When we were in our threesome, there were a few times when I was working and couldn't get away, so my wife and friend would go out to "work on their tans" at rural stream-side location we always favored. They always fucked on those occasions and never attempted to hide it from me. It only happened two or three times. I always felt a little left out, but never enough to complain to my wife about it. So, what about it?
Not enough to complain to the wife but enough to post about it. Heh. OoOo looks like something has gotten to you, maybe the grass isn't all that green on the other side. My partner has never gone off with anybody without me. 95% of the time, we do this together as our experience. She's also a watcher, so she'll instigate something just to watch me have fun. I've gone solo before but I've always felt alone and isolated and much prefer the company of my lady. it's much more interactive doing things with your partner. When separated I believe the doubts sink in.
I think I may have given the wrong impression. This was years ago and my wife knows all about my feelings back then. BTW, I shouldn't have said, "I always felt left out", but rather, "I initially felt left out." That was all after I had time to think about it and adjust to the situation. In response to your other comment, I was briefly concerned that the grass WAS greener (for her) on the other side (or is that what you meant?)
I encouraged my wife to see our friend on the side, or anyone else she felt like. All she had to do was tell me about it before hand and fill in the details afterwards. She never took me up on the offer (that I know of).
Even though this is a somewhat older post, I'd still like to put my two cents in here. I have a circle of friends who are into swinging. Well, scratch that. They were into swinging. Then things got real ugly. Divorces started happening, married people starting falling in love with other people. It got really fucked up, and people are now dealing with the consequences of being intimate with other people without their partner being present. If you want to bring a third, or even a forth person into the bedroom, I say, have at it. Personally I don't see the problem in this, as long as all respective parties are on the same page. I've seen things turn into ugly when people start fooling around outside of their marriage, without their partner present. Even though the partner knows about the outside relationship, it seems to me that, when both partners aren't present during intimate moments with third parties, things change. Feelings start to develop (because how could they not, if you are spending intimate time alone with someone?) and marriages start to break down. I can't speak from personal experience, because my husband and I aren't into swinging (we are pro threesome though), however I can speak based on what I have seen several of my "pro-swinging" friends go through.
You'd think that swinging couples could have an advantage and not succumb to those problems seeing as both couples should be at least accountable and genuinely... What's the word for letting someone do something? Permission? Both couples give permission to fool around with the other couple. It kind of bothers me a little because I think swinging should be a positive step in the relationship and it hurts to read that others start seeing people elsewhere etc. Maybe I've a warped perception on swinging in general, but for me, for us even, it's TOGETHER.
We need to get back into threesomes! Everyone has their thing! I love taking pictures of my wife with others. If she is going alone, I need pictures! It's how I can justify anything! I dropped her off the next morning at her friends house. We all played together, but I enjoyed sending her over to be naughty while I got things done around the house. She was there for hours fucking him. He typically lasted 3 hours and would cum 3 times and it was a LOT of cum. She always took the cameras (3 on timers and tripods and one for him or her to hold for better shots if it was convenient). This particular night, he was too drunk and didn't cum, or so she says. She has been caught lying about it before, coming home empty handed and saying he didn't cum. So, a few times, I'd text him and say "hey, she isn't home yet. Where did you cum on/in her?" he'd respond inside both holes, all three holes, stomach, tits, back, covered the muff or even soaked her panties and shes wearing them home like that. So, she comes home, says he didn't cum, I didn't question it. I dropped her off at his apartment and took the kids to Target. She texts me, and one of our rules is he can't cum in her unless I am there, says he can't cum even this morning. She's been there fucking him for over an hour. Texts and says, "He thinks he can cum if he cums in my mouth". I immediately say "No way", but then the next text is, OK, but here are the rules. You can't swallow it, you have to leave it in your cheeks, maybe if you have to, you can let it run into a cup, not adding spit, but then back in your mouth when I pick you up. You will kiss me with your cum filled mouth in front of him. She says he still never got to cum. But I don't know. Your rules will always change and add new ones or adjust them. It's all about honesty and trust.
The thing with threesomes or swapping is when you're horny they seem very hot. When you come down from serious horniness, some things seem like less of a good idea. Normal to feel that way I'd say. Just have to be cool with that feeling sometimes.
I havent had particularly long threesum relationships, but consistently its been a ground rule that until an at least three month period of established connectivity betweel all of us on an equal basis has been forged neither of us more than chastely kisses the third party without each others presence
Damn, OP, sounds like a serious issue. Something like that can eat away at you. It sounds like this was a while ago, which leads me to believe it still bothers you...? If you never confessed how you really felt about it, I think you still should bring it up. I try to be honest with my bf, and he tries to be open with me, as well. People make mistakes. The fact that she was honest and open about it, though, leads me to believe there aren't any real feelings attached to what she did. If she had a reason to feel guilty or like she was cheating, she would have done her best to hide it from you. As for the actual purpose of this topic, I'm useless. lol I don't think I'll ever have a threesome. My boyfriend and I are both jealous types. lol I doubt either of us would enjoy it. haha
This all happened 30+ years ago. I remember every detail of our 6-month long threesome because it was wonderful. As for these particular events, they were just little "bumps" in the overall "ride" and I'm no longer bothered by them. However, I do remember them, as I remember all the other great moments when the three of us were together. My wife and I have a close, loving marriage and nothing from either of our pasts would ever threaten it. I do know that I tend towards jealousy and have my entire adult life. It's not much, but (when I was younger) certain things did cause it to flare up. The events I described were one such type. I wrote my original post to see if others who had been in (or are currently in) threesomes experienced such emotions under that specific situation and, if so, how they dealt with them.
I understand. I'm glad everything is good now between you guys! I've heard some people around the forums just recently who have had the same type of issues. I thought that those issues were relatively uncommon between swinging couples or couples who enjoyed threesomes, but it seems they're more common than I expected. I hope that you get some more experienced feedback now that some replies have bumped you up a little. haha!
As a rule, no. But it does happen occasionally with other women when she is away and she tells me if she is going to. I never pick up randoms but sometimes I stay with one of our friends. Again, I let her know. It is about trust. And being totally open. We did not have to tell each other. We just do.
