Anger

I don't know what it is, but like i've said on numerous occasions, I get this angry feeling whenever I see pretty/good-looking girls, and if one looks at me, i'll just feel anxious and exhale heavily out of my nose, almost as if i'm deflating. I'm not angry with the girls or anything, and i'd never hurt them, but i'm angry with myself .

Today when sat in the LRC this afternoon, suddenly out of nowhere I ended up punching the table with the side of my right hand because of my anger, and like I always do in lessons, I exhaled heavily out of my nose.

I get fed up of sitting by myself and wish that I had a pretty girl to talk with.

I snapped when I was in the bistro at break, and two pretty girls were sat at a table behind me, and I looked at them for a split second and they didn't look at me at first, but the second/third time, they sort of looked at me as if they disapproved of me. I just got up, put my back on my shoulder, and walked out, and any chairs that were in my way as I walked past I just pushed under the table furiously - I did the exact same thing last Tuesday and walked out feeling rather pleased with myself, but the anger was really running through me almost like lightning running through my veins.

I'm sure that most people have already made their minds up on what they think of me at college, and I hope that I can start again September, but i'm worried that 2008 will be a bad year with bad luck and bad weather and people looking at me funny.

I sometimes wonder if I fit in at college or not, and I wasn't this angry when I was at school, but since i've been at college I have.

I was hoping that i'd meet the love of my life at college, but thst won't happen, and I wouldn't mind getting drunk during my break and dinner times and that'd change my mood without a doubt.

I'm fine once you start talking to me, and I can walk around normally without this anger running through me.

I don't want friends, and i'd rather have a really pretty girl to talk to, than have a load of dorky dickhead mates that mess around.

 

Per your request, Allonym

 

Chris, there is no hope for you. You will never get what you want in life. You might as well get used to bachelor-hood.

Best of luck complaining about people and living life being angry with yourself. Have a good one.

 

download some stuff on how to pick up women. then read it all.

 

Ahh, my friend. So angry. Rage is a monster that will destroy you from within. A true warrior finds balance in all things.

Aww c'mon - we all think of ourselves as warriors!

 

Whatever the cause of your anger and whatever the intensity, you have to learn to control it and not make raging displays like that. Not only is it dangerous to others but also to you. As previously stated, you will also not get what you want out of life, especially women, if you continue to act this way. The world runs by relationships and anger always destroys relationships in the long run. Anger is a bad habit and addictive. You have to learn to control it. Get some books on anger management and study them carefully. STAY AWAY from alcohol and other drugs. These are just making things harder for you. Don't play violent video games where your anger is positively reinforced. Ideally you should get into therapy of some kind, admit that you have a problem and let someone help you. It is no disgrace to admit you have a problem, and to deal with it is an honorable and admirable thing. You can lick this problem if you apply yourself seriously to it and stop thinking it's OK to be expressing anger in this way. Many people have anger management problems. You are not alone in this. I often have to really try to manage my anger. You can do it too. I wish you good luck.

 

you might want to get a hobby, like writing or reading or something, whenever you get angry write down your feelings and thoughts, sometimes just expressing them on paper is enough to make you feel a little better.

staring at girls is not really a way to meet them, if you want to meet them you have to show them your not a sketch-ball that just stares at people who has real thoughts and feelings, and a sense of humor, If i've learned one thing that if you want something in life you have to go out and do something about it, and dont be afraid of rejection, it happens to everyone, its not just you

 

There are times when I feel like being expressive and get the anger out of my system so everyone else can see for themselves what i'm feeling and hopefully make them think twice about why I am like I am.

Well I know it's not exactly ideal, and no-one else will get hurt by it and I would never hurt them, unless a lad said something to me to wind me up.

Well I was hoping that they'll see genuine anger from me and wonder why I behave like I do.

I know that anger is a bad habit, but I wouldn't say it's addictive.

Most of the time I can, but I feel inclined to just let it out and maybe one day do a lot worse, such as push the table over on the floor or drink alcohol and see what response i'd get - That should make people stand up and take notice.

Well today when sat by myself, I wondered where the nearest off licence was near college, so I could buy myself about 3 bottles of beer, but nothing too strong like vodka.

I don't play violent video games.

Therapy isn't going to work, and the anger wouldn't be there if I had a nice, pretty girlfriend to talk to and hang around with that had a beautiful smile, and looked really friendly.

 

Well how's this for a link then?

http://www.becomeaplayer.com/

 

I think you'd be best to read this first


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anger

Get your anger under control and you will seem more attractive towards woman.
Then you can start working on all the other issues you have.

 

I've just read it now, and having read what triggers anger off, certainly in my case, the things than can often trigger my anger off are fear, insecurity, low self-esteem, people making fun of me, sometimes when i'm being looked at and not having a pretty girl to go out with.

I fear that my voice will sound funny, I fear that I look gay, I fear that girls will look at me disapprovingly, I fear that I may say the wrong things and not think before I speak. I fear anything that I might do wrong, and the fear makes me more aware and makes it easier for me to right the wrongs and eradicate any signs of wrongness.

Well I now know what triggers my anger off, but i'll never overcome it and i'll just do as well as I have been doing for the other 18 years of my life and continue as I am.

 

And how does that make you feel?

 

It makes me feel strong to manage it, despite not being enjoyable.

 

Then why not just stop feeling so victimized by other people? If you stop being angry, people will like you, and then you won't have any reason to be angry anyway.

 

I can't because i'll get judged and looked at funny, and believe you me, I have tried being the real me and been looked at funny by my parents and other people that i've come across in my life and i've had to suffer - I know what's around the corner, so the best thing is to prepare myself and know what to expect.

I want to be perfect, and whenever I relax, I get judged.

On one occasion last year I tried being nice, and I overheard a girl saying "He looks well gay that lad" and she meant me, and i've heard all sorts of comments about me like that.

People will make fun of me even more, and I like said earlier, I can't survive and feel strong within myself without this anger.

 

they probably did wonder why you were so angry, then wrote you off as a freak or at the least, someone they wouldnt want to associate. this may come a sa shock, but women (particularly the attrative ones who know theyre hot) dont much like men who get randomly angry, and espeically not the guys who get randomly angry so much that they show, and so often as you seem to

this anger is gonna eat you up and tear you down. it will destroy you from within. you need to get a handle on it, you need to see a therapist or counsellor for your anger issues and more effective ways of managing it

 

Well I could make notes and give them to them and then they'd know.

Well every day I go through at college is like a battle.

Well I can't do much, and if had enough money, i'd consider plastic surgery to make myself look good on the outside and a hit with the ladies, and it would shoot my confidence right up.

Well it wouldn't be such a bad thing anyway.

I've had enough of bottling it up, and i'd rather snap, get questioned and then explain myself, so then they'll finally know.

 

ummm notes will do fuckall, thats not the point. the point is, this anger you feel is turning peopel away from wanting to know you. regardless of aesthetics. you could be the handsomest man on the planet but if you were so angry it scared peopel to simply be around you, you arent gonna get yourself a good girlfriend. youre missing the point. your anger is the problem, not your looks. changing your looks or dress will not change your anger, anger is from an internal source, its from within you

 

I've had enough of bottling it up, and i'd rather snap, get questioned and then explain myself, so then they'll finally know.


Thats maybe not such a bad idea. Take your anger out on an inanimate object in public. That way you will be forced to tell somebody how you feel, if that does happen I hope you tell them everything you have writen down here on the forums.

 

Chris, please you go to your school counselor. It is not shameful to ask for help, there is hope to work through your problems. You have proven that you can be open about yor problems and feelings. I know about the insecurities you are feeling, and I want to tell you that being angry and reclusive will never get you anywhere with the ladies. I am still working through some of those issues too.

Now, I am not an ugly guy, but Im not what most girls are looking for, and that is reflected in the rejection I have been forced to feel over time with high school being the worst. However, as a generality, the girls whom are most desirable physically are often not as intellectually attractive or openminded. What Im trying to say is that not only are "undesirable girls" a great lay sometimes, they are often very caring and sincere lovers. After all its supposedly whats on the inside that counts anyway.

I think that a counselor will help you take charge of your emotions and get you on the road to recovery of your self esteem. Though your appearance may not be what is deemed desirable by society, I think you should still count your blessings....we all should myself included. Be glad you don't live in a warzone, wondering where your next meal will come from, I'm glad for that each and every day.

Peace,

Remember, outward appearances aside, people do care.