I don't know what it is, but like i've said on numerous occasions, I get this angry feeling whenever I see pretty/good-looking girls, and if one looks at me, i'll just feel anxious and exhale heavily out of my nose, almost as if i'm deflating. I'm not angry with the girls or anything, and i'd never hurt them, but i'm angry with myself . Today when sat in the LRC this afternoon, suddenly out of nowhere I ended up punching the table with the side of my right hand because of my anger, and like I always do in lessons, I exhaled heavily out of my nose. I get fed up of sitting by myself and wish that I had a pretty girl to talk with. I snapped when I was in the bistro at break, and two pretty girls were sat at a table behind me, and I looked at them for a split second and they didn't look at me at first, but the second/third time, they sort of looked at me as if they disapproved of me. I just got up, put my back on my shoulder, and walked out, and any chairs that were in my way as I walked past I just pushed under the table furiously - I did the exact same thing last Tuesday and walked out feeling rather pleased with myself, but the anger was really running through me almost like lightning running through my veins. I'm sure that most people have already made their minds up on what they think of me at college, and I hope that I can start again September, but i'm worried that 2008 will be a bad year with bad luck and bad weather and people looking at me funny. I sometimes wonder if I fit in at college or not, and I wasn't this angry when I was at school, but since i've been at college I have. I was hoping that i'd meet the love of my life at college, but thst won't happen, and I wouldn't mind getting drunk during my break and dinner times and that'd change my mood without a doubt. I'm fine once you start talking to me, and I can walk around normally without this anger running through me. I don't want friends, and i'd rather have a really pretty girl to talk to, than have a load of dorky dickhead mates that mess around.