Hi guys. This isn't a weird comical story about anal sex. It's something that happened and now im really really stressed and need some advice or perhaps if someone has experienced this, they can share it with me. So several months ago, my girlfriend and I had anal sex. During sex she did experience some pain but it was something we expected and after a while things seemed okay. However, it's been months now and she's been experiencing alot of pain in her rectum and occasional bleeding. Today she visited her doctor and he found a sort of cyst which seems to have formed from an anal fissure/tearing. Basically he said that it's very serious and that he's surprised that it hadnt burst. Ofcourse if it does that could lead to horrible infection which could enter her blood stream. And he warned that this could even result in death. He explained that the only thing that can be done is surgery to remove the cyst and that it needs to be done very soon. So far, he put her on some medication and will see her in two weeks again...he didn't sound very assuring that there would be any improvement though. Obviously we're really stressed right now and are just trying to process it all. Has anybody experienced anything like this? I'm just looking for some kind of reassurance.
It may very well have been a pre-existing condition it was only discovered because of your anal explorations. Truth be told, you may have saved her life. If the cyst is removed and there is no bacterial infection, things should be back to normal. And you can continue doing what you were doing before. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.
I agree with Anythingonce. I’ve only had anal sex with 2 women and been pegged by my wife but none of us have had an issue. Also, no one that I’ve talked to about anal ever has. I hope she has a full recovery and that both of you enjoyed your experience. I’m sure you’re not enjoying the after.
They can do wonders with surgery these days and to be honest it does sound as though it has been caught in time, they usually cut out any infected tissue and close the wound afterwards with sutures, warm salt water baths will help easy any discomfort and speed up the healing process, Maintain good hygene and a good diet afterwards as being constipated could cause further damage to the injured tissue, and obviously don't go sticking anything up there, not for a good while anyway. all the best and tell her not to worry, a lot of doctors these days can be reluctant to commit to something in case they get sued later, it's a sad sign of the times we're living in.
Hey guys. Thanks for the replies. It's been a while since I've been on here. Just an update on the situation. So she's undergone surgery and she's recovering quite well. Basically, it was a cyst that needed to be drained. It was caused by anal sex that caused a tear that didnt heal well and over time developed into a cyst. I have another dilemma right now, unfortunately. I sort of lied a bit in the initial post. She isn't my girlfriend. We just sort of hooked up. It was the first time we had sex with each other. Both of us were virgins before this. She's trans, pre-op. So hence, the anal sex. The issue I've been having is, she and I have been talking for several months now, as friends. In this time, we've engaged in some oral sex etc. The issue is that shes been going through some stuff financially, and because of the bond we've developed, I have been helping her out with her rent and bills. Often to such a point that most of my salary in a month gets spent on her. Like this month, it's actually been more than 90%. I live with my parents. So my expenses are minimal. Which is how I can even afford that that. But basically, for this year so far, I've lent her the equivalent of three and half months salaries. This whole time, I've been lending her, I've been doing it because well, I've grown to care for her. And I've been doing it without any qualms. Today, I got desperate because it's become alot over the months, and we've never really discussed the amount. So I explained to her that things are getting difficult for me. And basically her replies from the discussion were that basically she holds me accountable for the injury she faced when we had sex even though it was consensual. If anything, I was more reluctant about engaging in anal sex than she was. She also said that even though I did all this for her she also made sacrifices in the form of sex. As in, every time we engaged in sex a (oral) was because of her owing me money. She's basically now saying she prostituted herself to me. I never demanded sex of her though. It was mutual. Or so it felt. I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. This whole situation just makes me so depressed. I just wish none of this happened. I wish I'd never met her. I know she's been through alot but this has been taking such a toll on me. I've honestly never lent or borrowed money to anyone in my life. And to lend on this scale. And it being tied to all this stuff. I know I'm partially responsible for the sex injury. But surely I'm not responsible for her quitting her job and not being able to pay her bills. Even the sex we engaged in which felt innocent now just feels dirty and fills me with guilt and disgust. I don't know why I posted this. I guess it's mostly to write down my feelings on the matter because I'm just at a point where I don't know what to do. I feel like a complete idiot and I just want to be swallowed up by the earth.
Do yourself a favor and break this off right now. Sex is a consensual act if it’s not rape. It doesn’t sound like anyone was raped. You are being taken. She is stealing your money. It’s not a loan, you will never see it again. Break this off now. Make it clean, with witnesses. This sounds like somebody who has it in their mind to go after you because all they care about is money and support.
You didn't mention your or her age group but sounds to me like she is using you. Your parents are the ones who are losers in this event if you are out of school and working. They could be spending this money on a cruise or something they enjoy instead of your sex life.
That's exactly the thing. I'm 26, she's 24. I graduated just a year ago and I've started working for a shit salary because theres hardly any work going around. My responsibility right now is towards my parents. I've been taking on some of the household responsibilities and bills. And my goal in the short term is to be able to shoulder most of their finances as they both are retired. Its the least I can do for all the sacrifices they've made for me over the years. Ofcourse, this situation has made it difficult for me to fulfil my responsibility towards them. I'm going to see her in the next few days and discuss it face to face with her. We haven't seen each other for a while due to covid. I'm going to tell her the exact amount that she owes me. She did have to borrow some money from her aunt for the surgery. It would only be right of me to have paid half of that. As we both are responsible for what happened. So I will waive that amount off the total that she owes. She still doesn't have a job so I don't expect her to pay me back anytime soon. But it would help if she knows that I can no longer lend her any more. Thank you guys for the advice. I've realised that despite how much I've been there for her over these last few months, shes often made me feel like I owe it to her. And besides money, I've spent my evenings filling out job applications for her, carting boxes of her stuff around when she had to move. I've tried to be there for her emotionally through all her issues. I can't help feel guilty about saying all this even.
I got a feeling she's got the cyst in her ass already before u fucked her, and then u are the scapegoat used by her for financial income
Agree. Besides, IF you contributed to the formation of the cyst, you’re doing the right thing paying 1/2 the expense. BUT you’re under NO obligation. H/She is using you.
Thanks again for the advice guys. Im pretty sure the cyst was a result of us having sex. Basically, it's like if you get cut and it goes several months without healing properly. Thats what happened and it resulted in a small cyst. Things have sort of advanced since. She's managed to get her dad to help her financially for a few months with rent and stuff........however, on Friday she applied to study a short course. Which she obviously doesn't have the money for. I don't know if she half hoped that id pay for it....but shes turned to escorting to help pay for it. I stopped her from resorting to this a few months ago by helping her out. I feel really horrible that shes had to turn to this but I honestly don't have the means to be able to help her. I absolutely hate that she's doing this. Regardless of everything, I still care for her. But I think it's come to a point where I just have to leave her to do what she has to to get her life in order. This thread has completely veered off from the initial post. I'm sorry for that. But somehow writing about this whole situation just helps me process it. Thanks guys for the advice.
Much like the cyst you mention, your friend needs to be cut out and discarded. You keep mentioning that “you” were 1/2 the cause of the cyst. Who is telling you this? If it isn’t a medical professional, then you are NOT responsible. She’s doing tricks now? Wonderful lifestyle choice. Get out. Now. Don’t stop. Don’t watch the train crash. No calls, no contact - move on. You came to this forum for advice. You got it from several people. Get on with the rest of your life. This person is NOT part of it. Do not be self destructive.
