Anal Sex Advice Needed For A Guy

Hi all -

I recently got engaged and have little to no sexual experience prior to this. I had fantasized about doing a tiny girl in the butt and low and behold... my fiancé is that girl. She told me right after engagement she wanted me to do her up the butt (before engagement we only kissed a few times and thats it). Also, vagina is off limits till wedding. I want the pussy like 100x more.

Anyways, anal sex is not what I envisioned. I still like it from a power point of view but really once I stuck it in (and it took 5-6 failed attempts where I couldn't get it in with lube) I felt nothing in the sensitive areas. I can do her for 10 mins or so and its fun but I honestly feel zilch in the sensitive areas. I can pull it out almost and shove it in and feel something, but not fast enough to get me off. And while doing that I have to be careful not to pull it way out because sometimes when I do pull it out by the time I get it back in I've gone soft from ramming my dick into what feels like a brick wall.

I want to finish in her butt and she wants that too, but I don't see how its possible. Any advice from anyone? We've tried to get her on top while doing this (as she gets me off with her hands while shes on top very easily) but so far it hasn't worked.

It is funny how fantasy doesn't match reality... in my fantasies I can bend her over and shove it in fast and hard, but in reality its a comedy of errors and somewhat difficult.

 

I have a lot of smart ass comments but in all seriousness...you're just going to have to keep trying to see what works for you. Most fantasies probably don't work out exactly how we envision them...mine included. But that doesn't mean you can't have a lot of fun trying.

 

I'm going to say you have masturbated too much.

I mean, I'm sure that there's causes beyond porn overuse that can cause guys to have a hard time getting off, but I'd expect it's the most common, and I'd expect it's what causes it for me.

Keep your hands to (or away from) yourself for a few days, and remember to use your brain, eyes, etc. (when fucking, though I hope that was obvious) also, go slooooooow to cum, speed kills sensitivity in a minute or so - the amount of time it takes super sensitive guys to come.

If you can't come with anal, maaaaan are you going to be disappointed with vaginal sex.

And probably have this talk with her..... And, why the fuck are you in that sort of situation, where you don't have sex until you're fucking engaged and don't have vaginal sex until you are married? How can you possibly work on any sexual issues in that sort of situation? I mean if you're totally into it and she's totally into it and nobody's already over it, that's great, but it sounds a bit difficult to work with.

 

You are doing it wrong lol

 

You sound like me not too long ago. Except I'm a girl.

Here's the thing, sex isn't smooth and awesome at first. And it's no surprise really that Anal isn't perfect at first either.

The first 3 times I had vaginal sex were terrible. I was way too tight and nervouse, and it hurt so bad I'd start crying and then my boyfriend would go limp because seeing me crying and in pain apparently didn't turn him on.

I don't think he even succesffully got it in the first couple of times. We laugh about it now, but at the time we were both pretty distressed. He'd had sex quite a bit before but never with a virgin (which I essentially was at the time) and so had never had this much difficulty.

Anal sex was similar in terms of being a learning experience both in terms of how it worked best for us and in terms of my body getting used to having something in there.

As for sesation being less than what you want he said it's similar for him. It's only closer to the opening that it's tight which is why he enjoys pulling out and plunging back in, but that's something you work towards.

Just learn to enjoy the process and know that since you both love eachother it's not like having a few terrible attempts at first are going to destroy your image of each other. It all works itself out with time.

 

Thanks! I appreciate the time and the insight. Other replies were as expected, smart ass guys being judgmental assholes.

I am actually meh on anal, even in fantasies. If she had never brought it up, I wouldn't have. I had vaginal sex a few times before when I was 19 and it was much easier.

Love how a "hip" forum can have people trolling around assuming I masturbate too much or that you have to have sex with someone before you get engaged. I don't watch porn at all or masturbate too much. We are both religious and I know a lot on here will be harsh by me saying that. I was completely willing to wait until marriage but she more or less jumped me after I proposed. I met her 8 years ago and she was with someone else and I waited until that ended after 5 years. I held out hope and knew that someday Id have a chance and looks like I was right!

Anyways, thanks again. I "know" all that mentally but I panic too easily. Theres a part of me that thinks, "Oh no I can't do this, this means I'm a failure at everything and will soon lose my job and be homeless soon." Yeah, weird stuff eh. But she loves me and I feel secure in that.

After wedding I am likely to ignore anal anyways.

 

What you should know about anal sex vs. vaginal sex is (and this is from my experience only and not reading on the internet):

A. The two feel very different (at least from a guy's point of view, have no clue far as the woman's point of view obviously)
B. Anal sex is very tight to get in the door, very tight depending on the position, relaxation and a host of other factors, however once your in, there is little tightness once your in on the head of your dick, which is where most of your sensitivity is. Understand?
C. Vagina is about the same thickness & texture throughout. So when you are inside the vagina the head of your dick gets more sensation when thrusting in and out vs. the anus where it's pretty much the sphincter muscle which has tightness, but beyond that unless the head of your dick has a lot of girth there's not much sensitivity or inner walls for you to hit making you feel anything.


This all said I love anal sex and is by far one of the biggest turn-ons for me. however it's not an easy thing to do especially spur of the moment and it takes time and finess, so the fact that you have a fiance who's wanting it IMHO is a huge plus one right there as there are tons of other guys who aren't so lucky.

My advice is don't concern yourself with if you cum or not, just enjoy the here and now and certainly act like you enjoy it even if you don't

 

Well obviously if you don't have an attraction to anal that may play a role, I imagine both of you were pretty damn nervous too which doesn't help much, if your girl really wants anal and you don't you could try using toys or maybe even fisting, idk though I'm not nearly experienced enough when it comes to anal to really give you proper advice but hopefully this will help a little.