Am I too easy going?

reality .....i think in america people have some dualistic fantasy about women and this hopeless ideal of monogomous love .......read yer history .....never been done .....girls should go out n have fun .....not enthrall themselves to some unapriciative slavemaster

 

Don't you think you deserve a good relationship? I read that there was a study that found that people who had higher expectations from a relationship had better relationships. Anyway, if in doubt, I like the test of "what would Dr Phil say?"

 

Why do you see this ideal as hopeless? "Never" is a strong word, I would say most of my friends are monogamous, its done all the time. And not all men are unappreciative slavemasters LOL
Maybe we have a different concept of respect.

 

The guy's a loser. Get rid of him.

 

I used to have a lil' cumbucket just like you!

Of course, I got bored and wandered off after a few months......

 

Ouch!

It's true though. You have to demand respect from this relationship or he's going to continue to think that he can dictate it and you. Right now, it sounds like you pretty much have a lot of stuff on your mind, but have you ever talked to him about it?

A friend of mine, we'll call her Susie, broke up with a guy that she had been seeing for a looooong time, to get with a fling with another dude. Unlike most of our friends, I didn't think Susie was wrong. I thought she was kind of an ass for cheating on her boyfriend, but we all make mistakes -- and it wasn't the end of the world.

Funny thing is, she continues to see the guy that she had a fling with -- it's going on about a year for them. Infact, she waits hand and foot on him. She doesn't decided when they'll have sex or hook up when he decides he wants to -- she just rolls over and lets him. A lot of my friends got mad at the dude and thought he was a total asshole for doing what he did to her -- but not me. Because he's only doing what she lets him. And to some strange extent, she seems to like "taking care of him".

You have to stand up for yourself, Retro You're an awesome girl and beee-flippin-autiful to boot! Like previous posters have said, relationships should be a 50/50 split and right now, it seems like you're putting out a lot more than he is -- and getting a lot less in return. Unless you're really into mental S&M, that's just not a very healthy place.

Best of luck to you

ps
From my personal experience with them (tweakers, meth heads), they're some of the most selfish, self absorbed people on the planet.

 

i do agree with her on the fact that staying with her ex would have been a bad idea since she was no longer in love with him. when you're not in love with a person anymore, i think it IS a bad idea to keep leading them on. it's unfair to that person to basically live a lie with them and pretent you love them when you don't. so by setting her ex bloke free, she was able to let him have an opportunity to find someone who could love him and BE IN love with him...

bet retro, it does sound like you are rationalizing staying with your current boyfriend in a small way. from what you say, he seems a selfish prick, and you are continuing to let him be so. you say you always end up in one-sided relationships...maybe if you took some time off to just be single and get to really know yourself, it might help you grow as a person inside and you'd be able to, the next time you DO fall for someone, have a better intuition as to whether or not this person is worth it...

just my $0.02...