should i post here, or somewhere else? well i'm here, so i guess that's where i should be, right? ok, enough with the questions... i'll start my story now. my name is... well that doesn't matter much, let's just call me funk. i stopped here because i got lost tonight. not that i knew where i was going beforehand. i decided to rest here for a minute or two because, well... you can't always be on the move, sometimes you've got to rest. when i left it was about 5pm. that's central time. i'm in the midwest. you know one of those states that see's a low of 42 followed by a high of 97 the next day. luckily there were no storms tonight. storms are a very common thing this time of year. the temp was about 94 when i headed out tonight. strapped my cooler to the back of my bike. stopped at the nearest gas station and picked up a sixer. it wasn't a known brand, i like to change things up. keep my tastebuds on their toes, so to speak. the next hour was a sweaty mess uphill towards... um... let's call him 'jimmy'... towards jimmy's house. an hour or two of... what was it, tasty 21 ale, and the coolest 12 year old video game ever. oh yeah, there were uhhmm other... shall we call them enhancements. a breif walk to the gas station. brief, 2 blocks is all. i'm picking up another six pack. this one just your run of the mill light beer. after all i've downed, what was it five beers amongst the other chemical/entheogenic substances. i guess there's no point in beating around the bush. it was five beers, a couple bowls of ganja, and a couple nostrils full of oxy. where was i... oh yeah, i pick up this sixer of (brand name) light and head back to jimmy's. well, i keep drinking, stop paying attention to pretty much everything else. he and his girl are starting to pass out, so it's time for me to bail. three very easy miles coasting downhill later i arrive. i'm not quite sure where this is, but i'm definitely here. still one beer in that cooler. sit back on the curb, and start to sip my final beer. i believe home is less than a mile away. but if that's true. why would i stop. there are no major streets around. i'll down this beer then finish the trip. i wonder if it's early enough to pick up some more alcohol. twelve o'clock already! shit! is it really that late? it's not like i have anywhere to be tonight, or in the morning(there are some benefits of unemployment). i've got seven bucks left in my pocket. that's a pint of name brand rum from the convenient store. lucky for me i'm stopped less than 100 feet away from one. time to set sail. wooh, i may love this rum, but it always brings a tear to my eye drinking it straight up. center street! no, no, this isn't right! i'm nowhere near my house. this doesn't add up. even if i left jimmy's and rode in the complete opposite direction of my house i should be about four miles closer. *shudder* yep still burns going down. ok, atleast there are no hills on the way home from here. i'll be back shortly. gonna ride and get a little closer to home. ok, i'm not this fucked up. i can't be. there's no way i drank enough to lose my way around this town. sure, it's town of half million or so people. but still, that's not a very big town. i seriously have no idea where i'm at right now. i'm going to rest here a bit and finish off this bottle. "hey you! yeah, you. sorry for startling you, do you no where i am?" from across the street i can barely hear, "you're exactly where you need to be." thanks buddy. that's the deepest thing i've heard all year. just in case you couldn't tell, there was a hint of sarcasm in that statement. since i have no clue where i'm at or how to get 'home'. i'm just going to rest here a while. could you wake me in the morning?
This thread would be funnier if it was posted in the dreadlock or lesbian forum or something. It'd be so damn literal.
