Am I Good Enough?

Thanks everyone. Yeah I guess now that I think about it I've never been much of the journal "Dear Diary" type..I always wrote through my poems..

"Confused"
I don't know what to think.
To feel.
I don't know how to express the way I feel.
I'm afraid to date again.
I'm not ready to even take that leap.
I like having you as a friend.
But maybe I shouldn't be too afraid.
What could it hurt?
And what could be worse than not trying?
If I gave up without even giving it a chance.
I don't know.
I'm just confused..

 

Justagrrl, please keep going.
There is a voice beyond the confusion and the wonder-ifs and the not-so-sures.
There's an essential you that no other can be and no other can do.
Breath and let the essence of love bring sparkle to dark places.
Breath and let the excitement of chance bring you closer than you care to allow.
Open the night window.
Warm and fragrant.
Let love seep in.
Remember, your life is always about to begin.

 

Wake UP.
Shaking violently,
the threshold to my dreams.
Get OUT.
Stop staring at me and just leave.
You're not wanted here anymore.
Shut UP
You can't say anything else.
I won't listen to another sound.
Fuck OFF
I have better things to do.
There's someone better out there than you.

 

I'm a star.
Bright and iridescent.
I sparkle and I gleam.
You can try and shoot me down.
But you won't get very far.
Because I'm a star,
opalescent and pure.
I'll shoot across the sky,
make a wish.
Blow me a kiss.
This is childish,
but I still don't care.
I'm irreplaceable,
you'll see.

 

I feel like the Mad Hatter,
running around this school.
Trying to get through this day,
without passing out.
Run, run,
as fast as you can with a coffee cup,
or energy drink in hand.
Almost done with school.
I must make it through.
4 more semesters,
I can do this.
I better!
School is coming to an end.
I never thought I'd get this far.
I feel like crying tears of joy.
One more day seems better and better.

 

Sounds like your going through some big stuff right now. I always found poetry helped me figure things out or at least get them out too.

I square off but there is no one to fight
I cannot see I've stepped out of the light

Confusion is the friend I know best
As if the game of life were a test

Waiting for my vison to come clear
Clouded always by my nemesis fear

Fear and anger are clouding my sight
I square off but there is no one to fight

 

When will this life end
I wish it were over tommorrow
Approaching the mid-life bend
A life so full of sorrow

To end it oneself is wrong
I know this in my heart
Why does it have to be so long
I feel like I'm falling apart

 

Don't fuck with me.
I won't have it.
You can do anything you want.
But I'll always get you back.
Might not be today,
might not be tomorrow.
But it's coming.
Yeah you'll know when it's time.
To pay for fucking with a bitch that fucks back.

 

fjd sss::

 

"Noone can save her,
noone can help her."

And yet she wants it...

There's a vampire in all of us... some feel the sun before others. Seems like you're gettin' a bit of a california tan right now. I could use one of those... and I live in california... hyerm.

You know where you can talk to me whenever you want.

 

me..tan?? How preposterous! I don't bake my skin..me and the sun don't quite get along..very sensitive to it .

 

"Communication Breakdown"

I'm beginning to wonder,
If you're able to hear me.
Or do you hear a bunch of static on my end?
Is it the fact that you're misinterpreting what I said,
or did you really think I said that?
I can't help that you're faulty ears heard one thing.
I'm screaming another, brother.
There's nothing I see more clearly than the fact,
that there must be a breakdown of what I'm saying,
and what you're hearing.
This could get messy,
what if I'm speaking wardsback?
Oh no,
mercury must be in retrograde..

 

I think that's the first time I've ever seen "retrograde" in a poem... awesome.

 

hahahaha..well I'll make it a goal to have a poem that deals with retrograde..muhahahha

but for now:

"Torn In Two"
I'm torn in two,
between these choices I must make.
It's hard to decide on one's future; one's fate.
But I must figure out if I want to be a fighter for justice; or the giver of life.
It's a hard choice to make; they're both wonderful choices in their own way.
I can't believe these choices I must make.
I can't even begin to understand the responsibilities that they thrust upon us at such an age. I'm here to make something of myself, but how can I do that when I don't even know myself?
I'm so confused, so lost...

 

Is this about career prospects? Something in law vs. something in medicine?

 

yes it is..and yeah I am thinking of either..and right now I don't know what to do..8.5 years for medical school vs. 4 or so years for law school..but I REALLY want to do med..but i also REALLY want to do law..it's not easy to choose..

 

Have you already taken a couple years or so of secondary education? Some people feel they have to make a decision right out of high school, and I think that's a mistake. They recommend you take at least a couple years or so to explore a variety of disciplines at the college/university level, so that you have a better idea of what you're getting into.

 

I'm almost a senior in college...I graduate not '07 but '08..I'm a psychology major with a premed minor...but you can get into Law School with any type of bachelor's degree as long as you have a good standing GPA and high LSAT scores. After I take Organic Chem, I can take the MCATS...so it's one of those things that which ever one I do best on is the way I'll go..but what if I do good on both? LOL

Law was something I wanted to do way way way back in Middle School..and then somehow it faded, due to dropping out and not feeling like I could ever go to Law School because of that..and I want to be a Psychiatrist because I love psychology..it's really hard to figure out which one I want. I know I would want to be a Child's Advocate if I was to go into Law, and I want to work with young kids if I become a psychiatrist. Or maybe I'll just stick with being a psychologist and work with kids, because of the fact that not all kids that see a psychiatrist need to be put on drugs..but maybe I can help change the number of kids being put on medicine by actually doing my job and not trying to fulfill a quota of medicated patients..

 

"Chrysanthemum Dreams"

I've sat in the garden of wisdom,
the garden of love they say.
I sit and watch as night turns to day.
And how each sunset is different,
and no one cloud is the same.
I sit and I watch as the plants and trees grow and surround me.
When I first started watching them they where all but little dreams.
Dreams in my minds eye,
dreams in which I hope to continue.
Where my love will always grow,
and you can pluck it like a flower.
It's ripe and supple and beautiful.
Just like you..

 

I've got a degree in psychology too. I almost went to grad school, but then abandoned that ship and went into computer science instead. How's that for a 180?


Oh, and Chrysanthemum Dreams is a really nice one.