Am I doing the right thing?

I show my boobs alot. It works for me too.

 

i used to. but people thought i was a whore. so i stopped.

 

ZINGGGG
:leaving:

 

well, it's true. it got annoying.

 

Belinda - I lived in a similar, very abusive, controlling marriage like the one you discussed. I'm not going to go into all of that, but I can relate to everything you said, and then some.

In order to get away from him, I had to go through HELL. I lost EVERYTHING. He didn't want a divorce. He used all of his tricks to try to keep me.

He got me fired from my job by stalking me. He called my office 20 times a day. The rest of the staff at the place I worked at became deathly afraid of him, and I was fired because my divorce was "interfereing with my work". I got fired, lost my income, had nothing of value because he took everything, and then...

He even took my kids for a while, by filing an "emergency custody hearing" by lying to the judge. I didn't know anything about it until the sheriff came to my house to help him get the kids. It was devistation to me and the children. That was the most horrifying experience I've ever had to go through because he was abusive to them too, and I couldn't be there to protect them. He took the kids because he thought that I would come back - it was another attempt to control me.

In the divorce, we ended up getting joint custody of the kids.

So, long story short, in order to get away from him, you may have to make some huge sacrifices. I stayed with him for almost 20 years, and the longer the relationship went on, the worse it got. I was afraid that if I didn't get out of it, one of us was going to kill the other.

Try to step back and look at the big picture. I agree that you should fight for your family's land. The rest of that stuff...it's just stuff. Let him have the mounts and whatever else he wants. It will be the last time you let him control you, and the sacrifice will be worth it in the end. I promise.

Good luck.

 

i always thought people were thinking *i need to stop staring at her boobs*.

women might call you a whore (behind your back), men might wish you were one.

boobs or burka?

 

It really is just people who dont like seeing you get positive attention for something they cant offer.
fuck em. I know the truth and so do you.

 

spend some time alone and untangle your web. work, see your boys, focus on your finances you things that interest you than aren't related to men. get into counseling so you can fix your *man-picker* ... you CAN find someone who is trustworthy if you pick correctly.

 

Wow, I could never be with someone I don't trust completely, have complete faith in and wasn't my best friend foremost.

 

Thank you Shana and everyone.

It has taken me a while to realize that I am not the one who failed. All though he has done a pretty good job at making me second guess myself. He has ran me down to a point I almost believed I was the person he was saying I was. I don't understand why some men think they have to be so dominating.

But anyway. I am taking bits and pieces of advice I have gotten on this forum. I am away from him and have pretty much cut off all communication with him. He texts me quite a bit and most of the time I ignore his text, I refuse to see him, he begs me to see him almost every day. I don't talk to him on the phone. The divorce is filed. I have an appointment with a lawyer next week to see where I stand on the land. If my lawyer tells me she don't think I can take the land or if he pushes a sale on the land. I will sign off on it and let him have it rather than force a sale. Either way I lose the land so I don't see much reason in spending a big lawyer fee for something I will lose in the end anyway. He wants a stipulation of agreement, that I sign the land to him, and if he ever sells it I get half of the assessed value of the land at closing. As for other things I will just ask the court to make him hand over my personal belongings, including my mounts. They are registered in my name. So they would be classified as personal belongings.

I spend as much time as I can with 2 of my 3 boys, my oldest lives in Chicago, and that is a 4 hour drive. I miss him but they grow up. *sigh* I also spend as much time as I can with my 2 grandbabies that are right here close by, and I am in the process of trying to get a hold of the other ones mother so he will also be able to spend some time with me.

I have a great job that I love... I just started that 2 weeks ago after having door after door slammed in my face. I am moving on the right track. I have my mind set to focus. I won't rule out love in my future, but I'm not looking for it. I suppose if there is someone out there for me the best thing to do is to let it find me. And when I do find it, make sure it is for the right reasons, with trust and honesty in the very beginning. I allowed this relationship to continue even after I found out about the lies in the very beginning and I won't make that mistake again. Some days I feel like a total fool... but you know... Live and let live... and learn from your own mistakes... This has made me a stronger person.

Thanks everyone.

 

it wasn't the women. it was the men. women just rolled their eyes.

 

At least have a consultation, a lawyer usually does not charge for that...Good luck. Relationships are not always easy...

 

Right suggestion.

 

A Great up date. I took advice and talked to a lawyer....She has wonderful news and is very confident we can get a judge to move in our favor. With everything I am offering to walk away from and what he wants to keep she believes I can get the land with minimual if any money buy out!!

 

good for you!

 

That is great news. Good luck. I am glad to see you found a lawyer.

 

I cant believe this shit happens....

 

so you're saying that if you left me, you'd go after one of my friends?
I'da stuck a big ol smiley in there if they worked.

 

i just wanted to use the word "homo." lol. it's such a funny and utterly offensive word.