Am I crazy to not want a long lasting sexual relationship?

I will be 29 this summer and never had a boyfriend since age 14 I think. I have no interest in any such long term commitment, which for me is beyond just a night or two. I don’t give my real name or contact information and don’t ask for it either. I avoid one on one encounters so no one feels there is long term potential. I don’t have any emotional longing for that stable life, but most people around me, including this forum, do have significant partners in their life. Am I really stupid crazy, or are there others out there like me who are perfectly happy?

 

Nope your not crazy just loving life and enjoying sex so just keep having fun

 

There may be something more. Saying you have no interests in long term commitments is a fairly general statement. I wonder, have you had trouble holding down a job? If someone asks what you want or dinner, is your goto answer, "I don't know, you choose." An assumption that everyone around you has something you don't, can also indicate a problem. I am not in a long term relationship, that doesn't mean I never want one.

You say you are perfectly happy, but are you? Truly? Is there nothing in life you want more than to be alone?

 

Basically I meant life partners: like a husband, samboer (a Norwegian word/institution) or just long term boyfriend. I’ve just never had the desire and my mother said I never expressed any interest in the idea of husband and children. And it seemed to be something that happened occasionally in the family tree. I have an older female cousin the same way although she probably doesn’t have the same sex drive I do! Other than that, I am very goal oriented and have had no problems with my job, have bachelor degree in the US (started a year early) and post graduate degree back home. Also had much time for competitive sports before I hurt my knee.

 

Crazy, Stupid, Happy? Only you/we can decide that for ourselves! We only live once right!? Not that that means to always be self serving, but also share our life with others (whatever that might be). Some volunteer everyday and then go home alone. Others “have” to be in a relationship and make everyone around them miserable. It’s different for everyone. It’s being real and honest with yourself and others! There’s no harm there… it’s when we’re not. That’s when it not fair to ourselves and others. Jenna, enjoy yourself… be honest and real and be the best at who you are! Don’t worry about pleasing the masses! Look what that’s done for us!

 

I don't think you're crazy at all. It's a matter of taste and values. I'm married with four kids and this is definitely the life for me--a lot of responsibility and compromises, but well worth it as far as I'm concerned. Another thing to consider is what it will be like when you're 87. I like the idea of having kids and grandchildren around to visit me in the nursing home. But it's your life and your values. If long-term relationships don't appeal to you, it's probably not a good idea to get into them. Every other marriage these days ends in divorce, and those can be nasty, especially where kids are involved.

 

I could be the wise old aunt…or the crazy one that the family whispers about!

 

Look out all you ladies on hipforums there is a new lady sheriff in town

 

I have a friend who went unmarried to age 55. He had no desire to be in a relationship with someone. Until he met a woman who clicked with him. Within 6 months they were married, her third, and have been for the last 15 years. Was he crazy for not being in a relationship all those years? Did he miss out on anything? I think not as he enjoyed his life as best he could not knowing what might have been. Plus you never know what's in store as you navigate along this life highway. So why ask the question? Unless you feel you are truly missing out.

 

Haha a Lady Sheriff needs lots of deputies!

 

Sign me up

 

Well said and agree!!

 

Best reply that I have seen in ages, the truth can sometimes hurt. That is when you find sex about as exciting as drinking a cup of tea.

 

She might just have had an early grasp in life that we men are nothing but trouble....

 

I am very good with English, but not fully understanding what is meant? Why does truth hurt and to whom in this situation? I do like herbal tea, but find it more relaxing the day after a strenuous sporting event

 

I don’t really think I would say men are trouble (although they can get me in trouble ), because I have friends who are in relationships, straight and LGBTQ. And it can be one or both that cause the relationship problem! I have never had a “bad” relationship that pushed this lifestyle, but I do see it from the outside.

 

You like what you like you want what you want there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all you only live once so have fun

 

I have two close friends who I have sex with fairly often. All kinds of sex. They both have other partners. One is also married. The word "casual" sex would apply but it's far from casual once the clothing comes off. In any event, we're friends first and sex friends second. One of them I see more for just catching up on her boyfriend, kids, family, etc., than it is for sex. But none of us are afraid to ask for what we need and sometimes those needs are pretty "out there". I've known both for going on 15 years so while it's not really a long lasting SEXUAL friendship, it's definitely a friendship involving sex. And my first FWB is someone I've known for over 20 years. She's moved away but when she visits her son who lives nearby, we both benefit if you know what I mean.

 

it’s most important that you’re physically and emotionally safe. I’m single, a divorced person. I am 42 a week today and I don’t want a relationship either

 

50 years ago in San Francisco, I had a lover who would cook an exquisite dinner, make wild passionate love with me, then hand me my coat and hat and show me the door; we never slept together. I found the arrangement a little disappointing at the time, but in retrospect I understand her brilliance; I'd love to have the same today.
Years later, we ran into each other at a music festival, and embracing, were both delighted to see each other. Certainly can't say the same about the majority of my former long-term lovers.