Am I Being Over Dramatic Or Is My Boyfriend A Pussy

Hi there,
Im new here to this site, so hi Ive been needing to ask for the opinion of others that are not family.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. He asked me to marry him last year but I cannot even take the title 'fiance' because all the shit we have gone through. I dont feel serious about it. Anyways, We get along great and love eachother. But our relationship is on the rocks due to his brother causing major drama in our life. I have always kept my distance from my boyfriends brother. He is a year older than him and the type of person that makes you cringe when they open there mouth. Very nasty, derrogatory, selfish and hot tempered. We have been in several arguments... every time he was drunk and didnt remember. So of course, everyone felt he should get a free pass. The last time my boyfriends brother disrespected me was about 6 months ago. We were all civil.. but I was still keeping my guard up. His new gf at the time asked me what kind of person he was and if she should know anything about him. I told her to be smart and always keep her guard up until she knows any better. She ended up telling him that and he approached me yelling in my face, getting all puff chested like he was going to hit me. My boyfriend was not there at the time but we ended up yelling at my bf brother and spoke every word in my mind.... and I realized I needed to be done with my boyfriends brother. He is a toxic loser.
Also, He will never be accepted in any wedding I am in. I have told my boyfriend this and he says he knows but it ends up in an argument. My boyfriend gets mad anytime my brother doesnt respond to a text but his brother is allowed to call me a whore? What the hell.

It has been over 6 months and i have not said one word to him. My boyfriend didnt talk to him for awhile but recently they have been hanging out and they are even on a bowling league together. That pisses me off because his brother has not even apologized to me or said anything. Matter of fact, he gives me nasty looks everytime i see him.
He answers the phone with, hey 'bro' and 'dude' and they laugh like everything is normal. My question to everyone is, Do you think my boyfriend should stand up for me more and have my back more in this situatuion? Or am I overreacting? I feel he does not take me serious considering he bowls with the same person who call his "finance" a slut, whore, bitch, dyke, fucking ****, and said he was going to knock her the fuck out.
Am I missing something?
Thank you

 

Sounds like he doesn't take you seriously. I can understand him still being close to his brother but if he cared he would at least tell him "don't let me hear that shit"

 

your boyfriend is an a asshole for life....you should immediately leave him and have a nice fun drama free life with someone who gives a shit about what you feel

 

I don't think you're overreacting. It sounds like your boyfriend is taking you for granted.

 

i'm gonna hafta go with the bro code on this one.

 

I think the "bro code" is completely stupid, arbitrary, and is the cause of much unnecessary pain in peoples lives. The only reason to automatically side with a "bro" is outright sexism. You have a penis, and HE has a penis, therefore you should side with him in this particular argument? zero respect for that nonsense.

 

how can you hate penises so much when you have a picture of a huge mushroom right in your signature.

that makes no sense dude.

 

You might want to go into couple counseling to resolve this. It doesn't sound like he is bothered by this but is doing nothing, but rather that it doesn't bother him, so he does nothing. I'm not sure which is worse.

You might want to get a restraining order taken out on him, which you have grounds to do if he has made violent threats.

I think it is reasonable for you to be free from having any contact with him.

 

Thank you for your response.
I have actually mentioned counseling to my boyfriend, we both agreed that it would be good for us. At first, he was upset that I had brought it up but after I discussed the topics that would be covered he agreed.
As far as the restraining order, it is in the works. The next time his brother crosses the line I will call him in. That night I made a report to the police but they need more for a restraining order. I am happy I have not had to get one but if the day comes, I will not hesitate.

 

uhh more like bros before bros buddy. lol. Thanks for the input.

 

The same night his brother disrespected me, I guess they ended up physically fighting. Apparently, my bfs brother came up to my bf like nothing had happened trying to small talk. My bf confronted him and he got defensive... My bf hit him a couple times.. and it went back and forth. Thats the story I heard. Who really knows
Thank you for taking the time to answer.

 

You know what?I'd ditch the pair of them tbh.Sounds to me like hot headedness runs in their family,and do you really want that for the rest of your life?It'll be drama after (yawn)drama.The fact you mentioned your bf gets angry just because his brother doesnt reply to his texts rings alarm bells for me.Think longer term......you marry this guy,maybe have kids?Is he going to make a good father?What about your kids having this bro in law of yours as an uncle?Good role model?????
Do yourself a big favour and get rid of the toxic people in your life.Focus more on creating a peaceful loving life for yourself.

 

Leave him. If his brother is that screwed up then I'd bet his whole family is dysfunctional.

 

You are not alone, for; Male, rank-pulling and loutish behaviour.

An if all is tight with you & your man, you will have to drink this cup of bitterness.

An yes, He is coming to the wedding, mybee th Best Man, so weigh what is in your gut, cause blood is blood.

An Yes! If you play your cards right, you can survive in a relationship with flawed components.

You can triumph, with your man and the bro, will be a mere afterthought. Concentrate on your relationship with HIM & if, he is class, HE will find a way to smoooth this over.

 

I think I'd rather "survive"alone than be stuck with these two toxic people!Life's too short,be more choosy!

 

When you get into a serious relationship with someone, part of their 'baggage' is their family. If you cannot handle his brother, and he isn't willing to intervene to make his brother play nice, you should ask yourself if this is something you want to put up with for the long term. You should never put your partner in the position to choose between you, or their family, as it rarely plays out in your favor. So, either learn to live with his brother by having as little to do with his as possible, or find someone with a family that doesn't push all of your buttons and cause friction between you and your partner. Good luck.
'

 

Before reading that, I would have answered, statistically the answer to the question posed in the thread title is likely to be: Both


After reading that, even though its likely you have dissappeared forever; 4 posts two weeks ago, your boyfriends brother: sounds like someone needs to give him a good smack around the head and then sum, a bit of negative re-inforcement could do wonders, everytime he opens his mouth and something dumb comes out he gets a bruised lip or puffed up nose

I hate guys like that. And bullshit he cant remember anything from just being drunk

 

it is possible, back in my heavy drinking days i had several nights with no recollection whatsoever after a certain point. it could kind of explain the situation to an extent too, if the brother is an alcoholic and is really only an asshole when he's wasted, the bf could be using that to justify not slapping him around.

 

Just wondering why you feel the urge to hang out with his brother?
You don't like the brother and he apparently doesn't like you.
So just avoid each other.

I don't like any of my wife's family and just avoid them totally. it's easy.