Am I A Rapist?

I think it's humorous that your wife thinks you're a rapist, yet she stays with you and still sleeps next to you. I mean, how can she really think you're a rapist? And yet I believe you that she does.

 

yes you're a rapist; my mind has been forcibly violated by this post. my biggest question is, if you knew she was like this to begin with, why marry her in the first place?

2nd most basic need at best. as a man, the most basic need is food. then sex comes quickly behind that.

of course, if you're just referring to basic human needs, air and water trump both of those.

 

YOU MEAN I'VE HAD IT WRONG ALL THIS TIME? My poor vagina.......*heads to the kitchen to cook husband a plate of food*

 

XD

 

that a girl

 

your vagina will be ok, i'm sure he'll give it all the attention it needs once he fills his belly.

 

I honestly don't know what your wife's problem is. There is nothing at all wrong with watching porn. Especially is she is not meeting your sexual needs. At least you have gone else where to get those need's met. You were obviously meeting your own needs and I don't see the problem at all. By the sounds if it. You ain't compatible at all.

 

If a human isnt interested in sex with there partner there is a problem, 2 -3 x per month? maybe she has a illness with her labido and she can get it checked out by a doctor and see if there is something wrong. I watched that english show the doctors and saw a woman with that problem and she got some injection to help her, otherwise she has a problem with you. Talk and see if she is resenting you about something. Porn is a gateway and a bandaid solution.

 

So she's clearly feeling insecure about not meeting your needs, hence the anger at you getting off to porn, which in her mind is you fantasizing about other women that you would rather be with. I would personally not have a problem with my guy supplementing our sex life with it if he felt the need, but I certainly do not want to watch him do it, because I have a tendency to get a little jealous as well. It's just not my bag. But for her to basically try and put a cap on your libido like this is controlling and concerning behavior. You need to have an honest discussion about why it bothers her. She needs to know your intentions.

Is this grounds to leave her? For me, it would be, because sex is important to me, and I've already done the sexless (almost)marriage thing (8 years- never again). If that's the case, I'd tell her you're feeling unfulfilled and there needs to be some compromise.

If it's not that important to you, and you just want to clear the air of all of this tension, I would make it clear you have no intention of leaving her just because she has different needs than you. She probably feels like shit deep down that she can't fulfill your needs as much as you want and is overcompensating with attitude and controlling behavior. I speak from experience on both sides, though I don't know either of you, so I might be wrong. That's just what it sounds like to me.

Were your counseling sessions together or separate? Was she belligerent during the sessions or did she seem willing to communicate? If she refuses to discuss it and prefers to just hurl insults at you, that would be another red flag that things aren't working out for me...

I know it's not as simple as just leaving her. I know it's not that easy, but I think if she's going to continue this way, it's something you should at least consider.