She's dying now. Although I had a crush on her when I was in the eighth grade, she was five years older than I--so----. She was beautiful, shapely and had a very nice way of walking and a radiant smile. I was in the back of the classroom by myself in my own desk (distraction, so the teacher said) therefore, I had a straight shot into the hallway and was easily able to see her when she passed. She always came to help her folks who were the maintenance folks at the school. She had graduated from high school 5 years before I graduated, so not much was expected from her towards me. I was 6'2"and a handsome lad in those days and she did smile at me often. My hometown was small enough in those days that everyone knew everyone else pretty much from the little kids to the the grownups. I saw her around occasionally. Sometimes I saw her sitting in the swimming pool bleachers visiting with her friends. Sometimes at the skating rink that was set up in a vacant lot in the summertime. But I had MY friends and quite an active social life back then. She had her own friends and her own life to live. We never talked. No reason, really. Life rolled on in it's inexorable way and I moved away from my hometown, worked in many places in many jobs, made life changes (remember the 60s?) and of course, met many people along the way. When working at a plastics molding company, there was a beautiful red head working there and she caught my eye. We got to know one another well and became ---a couple. She had graduated from San Jose State and was waiting for her application to Stanford to hopefully be realized. Soon--it was. Full scholarship to study drama. When I moved to Washington State, she came to visit me when she could. When I moved to Hawaii, she came to live with me. (ended up selling purses at Sears with a masters degree!) She got offered a position at the Ashland, Oregon Shakespeare Festival and she probably would have refused it had I asked her, but I knew that her dream was to be in some part of show business. She left and that summer, I and some other long-hairs decided to travel across Canada. 1970. I was looking forward to seeing her upon passing through Ashland and I did so. We went to lunch and she informed me that a certain man who also was doing an acting gig at the festival had asked her to marry him. My response was--" you can't marry someone else--I tattooed your name on my arm!! Sure enough, in a drunken fit of stupidity---I had done so. Well, we had kind of a laugh over that and parted as friends and also -sure enough-she did marry the man. ( She ended up on Fridays--a program similar to Saturday Night Live.) So---------moved to Oregon from Hawaii--had some kids--(not to minimize) and of all things--eventually was talked into moving back to my hometown by some of my old friends and I started up in the roofing business. So, back in my hometown I began to build up my business, which at that point consisted of working on wood roofing to clean, repair and treat the roofing to gain homeowners some additional time before having to re-roof. Driving out of town one day, I spotted two women working in their yard and something looked very familiar about them. There was wood roofing on their house, so I pulled in to see about working on it and LO AND BEHOLD---there was the beautiful girl that I had a crush on 38 years before!! She was still as beautiful as ever!! Well, she and I and her mom visited for a while and when I explained what I could do for their shake roof---I got the job. Took me about a week to finish their roof and we soon found ourselves flirting with each other on a regular basis. --Neither of us were married and it became very apparent that we needed to take our budding relationship further. And we did. She is the best woman with whom I had ever been associated. Sweet, gentle and tough as an old boot at the same time. She asked me to dinner and sunday nights then became our regular dinner (supper?) nights. Here's where the interesting part came in-----the second sunday, I was sitting at their table and I suddenly remembered-----------OH MAN-----I THOUGHT BACK TO MY REDHEADED GIRL FRIEND AND THE TATTOO I had on my left arm. Her name was Sally---and that's what I had tattooed on my left arm-----YES --the girl I was eating dinner with and had the crush on 38 years before---- WAS SALLY!!! I just talked to her an hour ago---in the hospital. She couldn't answer back with more than a little tiny voice. She's so tired. A week and a half ago, they thought she had Valley Fever. Then it was pneumonia. No. She's eaten up with cancer. She's on the way out, as it is inoperable. She treated me better than any woman ever has ----my life is sort of upside down right now. I wasn't around when my "parents" died, so this is new for me and I feel really awful. I told her time and again that she'd be putting me in the ground. Some of her relatives have lived to 100 and beyond. Nothing is the same now. Nothing. I must go to California. Perhaps I can see her before she goes. Goodbye sweetheart----you were the best.
And Now I Have This Lump In My Throat, What A Beautiful Thread.... You Must Go And See Her, Have A Safe Trip. Cheers Glen.
That is an incredibly beautiful and sad story. My throat has a lump also. Yes, please go and see her Joel.
Beautifully written and my heart goes out to you and both Sally's....Is the one from your childhood the love of your life?....really then? If so, tell her...if you still have the opportunity.....I am so sorry she is so sick now....
("...they say never go back..." mentioned the goblin appreciating the read, adding "...but perhaps just this once one might make an exception to that rule, but the ghost of the past dies with the new one...")
Not belittling feelings ... There is a place in the heart where those we love do not part Watched my mother die of cancer for several years, I was blessed in that I was able to visit at least once a month. I was/am able to turn within and still be with her - and it's not static, I have seen her change 'over there' too. 2 years ago my brother died of cancer after fighting it several years. I was blessed to spend the last few months with him, though I left before he died when his children came to sit with him at the end - was their time. I still visit with him on the other side too. I have a long distance involvement that is face to face skin to skin for once or twice a year for about 3>6 weeks each. We have both learned to share a heart-space that goes beyond time and space, much as I found with my mother and brother. The only reason I share this is to let you Know it Is possible. The mind does not distinguish between experiences - we are the ones who say what is real and what is not. Blessings your Way brother Namaste
Thanks to you all. I've already caught myself thinking "I have to call Sally." I'm sorry for your losses Oldwolf and I appreciate your kindness. I haven't lost anyone close before now. I'm going down today and I am saddened that i didn't get to see her before her demise, but I did get to talk to her with her sons phone up to her ear. I'm going to talk about her and explain why she was such an amazing person, but another time. I will say that she used a Maytag wringer washer until a couple of years ago because it finally quit. She always hung her clothes on a clothesline. -------------------she would have been perfectly suited for the 1800s, which she mentioned a few times.
My feelings exactly. No matter we cannot escape the effects of our own thinking. It is not necessary to believe in the existence of the dead but it is necessary to not deny existence in order to apprehend what does exist.
