All that glitters is not gold. The build up.

This thread may not be real popular but I have to put it out there about how self esteem is one thing, but taking a compliment or two from one or two random lovers at some point in life isn't confirmation of your true state. Both men especially, and women alike are guilty of this it seems. Give credit where credit is due and gracefully accept a compliment but just because someone happens to think you're the best thing since sliced bread, just consider it a compliment and consider where they've been before you. Anyone have input on this subject? I will clarify if need be.

 

I certainly can't speak for anyone else, but my self-esteem has been just fine, ever since high school. I know what I'm worth and, as such, have always been able to take a compliment and know whether or not it was deserved. That's true for criticism as well. I'll know if I deserved it. How I respond to it is almost always based on the situation.

 

I have had mixed experiences.
Some were so-so, but more positive experiences. And some extremely positive.

The bigger issue is finding a fwb, not interested in love at this time and I am being very honest about it. That could be a big issue, and likely combined with my age although I never was one who had it easy winning a woman. Those I could have been with were preferable not to get involved with or lack of interest in my part

 

Self esteem is self observed. A compliment is worth only the source from which it comes. Criticism is also worth the source it comes from but can be destructive or constructive depending on how we process it.

 

We tend to use the positive and flattering input from the people we are in contact with to build ourselves up in the aspect of the compliment. Not taking into consideration the source of the input and their objectiveness in respect to their experiences. Example?: A virgin is going to perceive her first cock as being large having nothing in her past to compare it with, whereas a middle age woman who's been married and divorced with a number of past sex partners is going to have a much better more objective idea of what a large cock is..If a man tells a woman who gives him a good blowjob she's the best at it having had only a couple of others in his past, that compliment is only worth what his experience is based on. Follow me now?

 

Or men with an average size dick…Have you been told that it’s big by a few women so you automatically think it big? Watch some porn guys!

 

Exactly. Not that the select ones they have for filming that are auditioned and chosen as the biggest are an accurate guide to gauge size from, but it will definitely give a man another perspective on his own manhood size. Even the amateur homemade videos have some of the nicest biggest cocks from the guy next door you will see. Wake up guys. We aren't that blessed.

 

All compliments get taken with a grain or two of salt and letting them go to your head can set you up for a painful emotional crash and burn. I can only do what I can do; you really can't please everyone and it's a mistake to even try to; if you think I'm all that and a bag of chips, well, thanks - I try hard to please. If you think I suck, welp, sorry you feel that way, I did the best I knew how to do and... I still got to have sex with you and maybe one day you'll give me a chance to redeem myself in your eyes? Just don't believe the hype or let someone convince you that you're the greatest of all time because someone will come along and kick you in the balls with some harsh reality.

 

When a man is confident in the size of his dick after being told by a couple of women he's been with he's big then he meets the woman who's had bigger and he doesn't get the response he's used to .

 

Yeah, and that can be devastating to a lot of men - and I've seen guys get that kind of wakeup call. A woman tells me that I'm big or the biggest she's had and... grain of salt time. Maybe she's being honest, maybe she's trying to fuck with my ego but either way, I know how big my dick is and I know there are guys who are way bigger and I have better things to be concerned about and more sense in my head to buy into that false sense of confidence too many of us fall victim to - and wind up getting our feelings hurt and acting all shitty toward women. Instead of being about how big my dick is, be all about whether or not I know how to use what I have; judge me on the whole "performance" and not by the size of my dick.

 

I think any man has to take what women comment on as far as his sexual size, abilities ect with a grain of salt. Every guy is different and a new guy is always an exciting event for a woman and that thrill and newness of the guy can muddle her mind to the past guys. And no woman is going to tell a man she's fucking how lousy and average size he is in bed.

 

I beg to differ; I've had women tell me that and I've heard women tell a lot of guys that they weren't good in bed and their dick was too small. Now, you can either be hurt by this - and stay hurt - or you shrug it off and keep it moving. My response to being told I wasn't good enough was - and still is - "But I got the pussy... and that's all that matters." Some women won't tell a guy that since some guys tend to react badly to being told that their dick is small and they don't know how to fuck - and even if he knows she telling him the truth about himself. Our egos are so fragile and easily crushed unless you take it upon yourself to be confident about yourself and compliments - and complaints - are taken in stride because, again, you can't please everyone and women are clinically insane and often with unrealistic expectations and they know how to crush a guy's soul; tell him he's the shit... then tell him that he ain't shit and never was and watch him crash and burn.

Yeah, I ain't got time for that kiddie shit. Whether you liked it or not, I got the pussy and filled it up with my cum so...

 

Well I guess I'm misinformed and my experiences have been different than others apparently. I've been informed that women sometimes do, when appropriate tell a man he's no good in bed and his cock isn't the biggest she's had. But here again one has to take into consideration when the statements are made. Is it after being together for awhile, in the heat of argument or simply disgruntlement? As far as women being clinically insane, let's look at the male population a moment, and the repetitive mistakes they make. Einstein's definition of insanity is "Doing the exact thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 

Are you putting all women in that category? Clinically insane? I could say all men are pigs but I know that isn’t so. Proofread dude. You’re out of line.

 

No, I am not putting all women in that category - but they know who they are; I've met them. Out of line? I don't think so; I said what I had to say about it. I'm never going to apologize for speaking my mind.

 

Yup - that's how it's defined. The "trick" is to not be the definition.

 

Well then I won't have to apologize when I speak my mind, so keeping with the theme of the day,I would have to say that I've met some people of both genders that could be deemed clinically insane, and yes I've been married to two women who could fit this catagory. Then there's the male side of the equation. It would seem there are quite a few who seem to have a death wish as they go around playing up on married women, stalking them and even sending them dick pics over social media to show off their attributes as if they had something so special it could trump anything her husband has and expect nude pics in return. In conclusion, I would hate to be in your shoes as of now , reason being you trash talked an entire gender and lumped them together as if they were sheep in a pen. Hell hath no fury ,like a woman's scorn.

 

Yeah, sure, like I don't know that. Bring it on.

 

Famous last words...