Ain't it weird it's guys who get rejected

#2 might even be better formulated as reflect on yourself. Not only appearance since it might not even be the problem sometimes. As appearance doesn't have to be the problem, well perhaps it lies in the posture/attitude etc., shopping also might not be the solution
#3 would be something like draw your conclusions and act upon them. Yeah that sounds a little vague but it probably change a lot with each person, right? Nobody's perfect of course, and even being needy or indecisiveness doesn't have to be a problem at all (unless of course, someone is TOO needy or indecisive). But how you come across the first time seems to be a big deal so it is merely the wise thing to acknowledge you should not come across needy or indescive because they just are considered unattractive traits (in general).

 

I'm not sure what exactly you mean by genuine attention and care. In a normal, everyday life I don't want too much attention and care from some random guy, whom I've never met before and who doesn't know me either.
It can be nice and genuine in certain situations, but in others, when the attention is too intense or not particularly wanted it can quickly become creepy.
It doesn't matter whether you really are a creep or not, all that matters to the girl is her perception of you in that moment.

 

you could actually listen to some of the advice offered every time you make this identical thread, or you could be close minded and die alone.

sad to see which one you're going with.

 

sounds like a personal problem. or dude is a creep. maybe a bit of both..

 

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

 

If you honestly think all woman are the same and nice guys always finish last I think you are going to have a long up hill battle finding what you want!

 

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and getting different results...

 

Insanity-doing the ---oh wait.

 

To Kokujin's defense though, you can't always tell which women is a "stuck-up princess" type based on appearance alone.

If you're assuming that the "princess types, selective judgement passing women" can be spotted by the clothes they wear or looks" that's another false assumption that women make about other women and men.

I have met girls in my high school days, AND women at college as an adult that aren't the hottest, classy looking chick, but they BEHAVE extremely badly despite being average in the looks department.

On the other hand, I have met total 10's, who are super sweet people, and they struggle with prejudgements made about them and how they dress and inferences that their personality would be good or bad.


Part of me thinks that young people behave this way because of the influences they're getting from Disney channel and MTV (Jersey Shore anybody?) in addition to our individualist culture.


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@Kokujin, I should tell you that sometimes when you flirt with a girl, and she appears nervous, that isn't always a bad thing. It might be good nerves because you've captured her interest and you have a shot to ask her out.

Don't assume anything, but be forthcoming, pay attention to the environment (is flirting here too much pressure on her in this public environment or is this the perfect private area to be a little fun and suggestive).

Keep trying Kokujin, but get rid of these sterotypes about "jerks and players being more successful over nice guys".

Being nice has nothing to do with failure or success. It's persistence and confidence, much like success in business.

I want to point out that, you seem to be conflicted in your own mind. Here's what I'm talking about:

1. You said basically in effect, that you want to meet people (mainly women) yet you want to remain introverted.

Being introverted can be an obstacle in all areas of life not just women, it's just one of the trade offs of having that personality type. Like applying for jobs, can be more difficult for introverts.

It has nothing to do with girls directly, it's just a natural trade off so stop blaming them. Blaming people gets nobody anywhere, especially not yourself.


The good news is a part of you must want to break free from your introverted self, you're either just afraid too (maybe of failure?), or something else is holding you back. So go for this man, gotta change your mindset on life.

 

just do it like this guy and fuck the bullshit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JloGJhhF2ss"]How To Get A Girls Number : Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood - YouTube

 

maybe the op would like some cheeseburgers...

 

it is what it is. I don't think most of you truly know me or what's going on.

I DO think women owe all their relationships & dating success to men, sadly.

I DON'T like that I have to go 0-80 on a GIRL just 'cuz she can't drive down the parking lot if you know what I mean. Who the F asks a girl out after a couple conversations?

"It doesn't matter if you're creepy or not. All that matters is the girls perception."



awesome.


I've never met a girl who's had the balls to ask her own questions and get to know a strange person btw. It's 8/10 sit back, play with hair, answer questions, etc. Sometimes the conversation will branch out a good one,

but there's always that one random bf who asked her out at a bar and she said yes 'cuz clearly she can't take a more pro-active role in her own lovelife.


I shouldn't say never. They are few and desperate in between, and usually not so hot. Bless their hearts. The rest of the female world needs some character and self-identity.



monkr, I think the point was it's kinda hard to remain open friendly or whatever because it will appear to seem needy and weak before it appears to seem confident and cool, and unf. with women this is all they judge a man's relationship/fuck potential by, and not by the real measure of his heart. I can be extroverted but then it's usually that caring/attentive stuff. (which I ironically thought I was doing a good thing growing up -- little did I know society doesn't appreciate shit).


Maybe that's not true but 99% WAIT TO BE TALKED TO before ever stepping up so how the F would I ever know. Talk to every girl that gawks at me for a couple seconds? :| Really. Fix your shit. I'm clearly going crazy trying to mend mine.

This is me though. It's hard to change who I am. Only thing I can do is try and understand the world around me and remind myself not to pin myself so hard and STILL go out and be open to meeting new ppl.


But... some things are truer than you want them to be. (or are they..) :daisy:

 

I have to add you WESTERNERS/AMERICANS are fucked in the head.

My style isn't creepy or needy or anything back home (ethiopia). honesty and vulnerability is mad appreciated -- it's a sign of strenght and one with respect for others. I've never felt like I was doing something wrong around Ethiopians, even here in the US. Ethiopian girls fit this too btw. *GASP* They actually engage the opp. sex in honest conversation and IT'S OKAY!


American game is really just posturing & who's in who's league. Who can be the dominant alpha male. :eyeroll: And it's hilarious to see you all damage control that same system.



western culture has become just too hostile, better-aloof-than-sorry, obsessed with being confident and cool. women have added 10 coals to this fire by giving no assistance towards basically fucking back the right men. Nice guys don't def. finish last in [some] other cultures, who actually care about their relationships with ppl.

Japan doesn't stick their tongue out and puke at a nice person either.

Me not pleased.

 

So what's wrong with ethiopian girls in U.S.? Don't they wear nice booty shorts perhaps? Just guessing! Or japanese chicks for that matter. Aren't you just looking in the wrong places?
And even though your style is not creepy or needy you just may come across unpleasant or unattractive just by displaying what you see as strong and virtuous behaviour. I'm not saying you should be unloyal to yourself and yes, we do not know exactly where you are going wrong irl when approaching girls but let me say it lies often in subtile details. I see sincere and open guys ruining their own game sometimes because they aren't aware of subtile things in their attitude/manner of speaking and thus how they come across.
Also some are too much going by their or other peoples expectations and it has said before in threads like these: expectations ruin a lot.
Perhaps you think it is mean and unfair a lot of guys are rejected so easily because of little subtile things in their approach/convo style etc. etc. but you seem to be just as judgemental (as most guys by the way) so please be aware how subtile your own consciousness can work in this department.

 

Unless one says women mature faster than men, communicate better, can multitask better, pay greater attention to detail, are more caring, cook better, dress better, etc.

N.A.W.A.L.T.

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Edit: As for the OP, tldr.

 

Generalizing is perfectly fine as long as you are aware if you don't explicitly state that you are generalizing you are up for some nuancations in that department

 

This post sort of proves the OP's point. And you know you don't want to be seen agreeing with a loser such as him.

 

Wtf I agree with Cherea

 

Do you ever actually go on dates or do you only talk to women when you hit on them in bars? I'm really starting to think that the women you talk to just aren't interested in you. If a woman likes a man she's going to engage him a little bit and do everything she can to make sure he keeps talking to her.

and stop referring to all women as the same. Its really annoying.