Advice on talking about genitalia

Hello, this is my first time posting here and I hope I can get some feedback. I couldn't find another forum/board to post this so I hope I can get what I'm looking for.

The issue I want to find solutions for is that I was never comfortable about my penis, in terms of size, shape, function, sensations, etc., since it always felt like it was on the way, like it was an annoying hanging lump. Sometimes I feel like I would be better off without a sex (preferably), or be asexual, so I wouldn't have to deal with those issues.
Only recently I was able to fully understand that I belong to the above average category, and it took so long because to me that was not important to know, as it is not a defining trait of a person and thus I couldn't care less for others' genitalia. I never really paid attention or felt curious enough to ask around how other people's penises look like, but most of my friends seem to have that curiosity and are not afraid to talk about it or discuss it (usually when it's about partners and the penis being great for sex). They're usually ecstatic about that topic, and that makes me feel even more nervous when it's directed to me.
When they talk about it I prefer to keep to myself, as I don't want them to react like my penis is good, when in fact I feel bad about it and I can't see it the other way. I really don't feel it is necessary to talk about genitalia like it's trivia/small talk. It gets worse when people are inquisitive about penis sizes, specifically when they're influenced by the stereotypes that go as larger penises are better than smaller ones.

I really need your feedback and insight on this issue. My partner and I have spoken about this and he belongs to the carelessness end of the spectrum, so he finds it difficult to understand my way, the same way I see his on this topic.

Thank you so much for your time reading this, I'll be waiting patiently to see the responses that come up.

 

Do you need to see a therapist. Now. Please go, now.

 

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to engage in conversations about yours or other people's genitals. If you're a urologist or gynecologic oncologist MD, that would be career-ending, but you're obviously not a medical professional who has to have both interest and knowledge on the subject of human reproductive organs, whether male, female or intersex.

On any subject that doesn't interest you or makes you uncomfortable, you're free to walk away, hang up, or log off; however, do so at the risk of setting yourself apart from others. That's what sensible people do. Try to engage me in conversation about your irritable bowel, and I'm going to find something else to do.

That said, what's the point of having a "partner," other than a business partner, and you say that you're partnered, and not wanting to discuss the sexual equipment you have, nor his, in any way at any time? If you seek to be a long-term couple and a sexual relationship is important to either one of you, then my recommendation is that you seek a couples counselor or relationship therapist together. Your individual boundaries and limits are extreme, and you're an outlier. If this troubles him, then you should work it out together.

As far as anyone else's interest in discussing sexual equipment, it's superficial and shallow. It's also juvenile, puerile. That doesn't mean that there isn't a lot of interest in the topic, just that you should find a more mature circle of friends. At age 6 or 15, it's unavoidable. At age 35, you're hanging with the wrong crowd. Stop hanging with people who draw cartoon penises on their notebooks and write on the walls of public bathrooms. Hang out with people who have outgrown that, preferably decades ago.