Advice help please about old gf and new gf

Hello I am brand new to the site and I could really use some advice. I broke up with my gf of 5 years a little less than 2 months ago. She had a very bad gambling and drinking problem. When she was not drinking and spending all our money gambling she was great. We had a very very healthy sex life. She was very kinky and open to just about anything sexual I wanted and loved to be very vocal in the bedroom. If she was
not drinking or gambling we got along very well. I tried many times over the years to get her to stop and I even left her for a few months only to end up getting back together. This last time she spent all our bill money and drank I forced her to leave and she has not been back in almost 2 months. She has called me a number of times begging me to come back and crying and promising to change but I kept saying no even though I miss her very much..

A few weeks after we broke up I was asked out by a girl and we have hit it off very well. I would say at this point she has become my new gf she is pretty and sexy and has a great body and personality. She is complete opposite of who I was with before and much much more caring and affectionate. She does not drink or gamble or smoke and she also loves sex and is very open sexually. My problem is my old gf keeps calling and begging to come over to "visit" I have told her no every time but I cant get her out of my head even though I know my new gf is much better for me .

I have also found that I have a problem keeping an erection with my new gf sometimes no matter what she does I cant seem to keep it going for long. When I was with my ex I NEVER had this problem at all. Why am I having this problem now and also does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do about all this? Ohhh almost forgot to mention my kids and family hated my ex and they love my new gf.

 

Stress is the problem with your pecker. One of your gfs has to go. By what you have told us that one should be gf 1.

 

kind of your own fault brother....never heard of a rebound relationship?....the rebound is the new chick....they never last....there is no easy answer here...dump both and stay single for awhile and get your own shit together

 

Give it time. You sound like a long-term kinda guy, having tried so hard with your ex. Continue to refuse contact with her, now that you have made that decision, and go slow with the new one. Don't worry. Feelings from a five year relationship will not vanish in a matter of months, but over time they will change.

 

People ALWAYS do this. They come here and ask for advice in their first post. Is it the same person posting as different people?

I'm happy to give advice, though I suspect something is up when the OP never returns...

I think monogamy should be instrumental in solving your problem.

 

I am a long term relationship person. I hate the thought of dating people just to hook up. I have continued to refuse my ex but this last week my ex came to the house drunk while I had my new gf inside. It was a huge mess. She beat the crap out of me in the front yard while my new gf locked herself in a room in the house. I had to get a restraining order against my ex. I have not heard from her since that happened but It did create a lot more stress for me. I know I made the right decision by leaving her and my new gf handled it really well. She wants to stick with me and work through this stuff together. I know this is messed up but I feel bad for my ex still even though she did that to me. I wish I could get her out of my head for good. I know I just need to give it more time.

 

It sounds like your new girlfriend is possibly more of a rebound than a long term partner to me... it’s normal to still be thinking about an ex so soon after the break up but it sounds like you did the right thing by breaking up...

Based only on what you’ve shared I’d say maybe either end it or take it very very slow with the new girl... it doesn’t seem like you’re 100% ready for a new relationship... you don’t want to hurt the girl you’re seeing now... and I would suggest staying away from the ex girlfriend temptations

 

You didn't break her. You don't need to fix her. You did the right thing getting a RO. If she violates it, you have her arrested.

Don't return her calls. At all!

As long as you engage her, you're just allowing her to keep you stressed.

My ex tracked me down after 10 years. I have a standing Do Not Trespass order on her as here an RO is only issued after more than one incident of physical violence. Mine wasn't a drunk. She simply is mentally crazy. The authorities can only help you if you use the resources they offer you before she shows up to screw with you.

You're stressed dude. It's gonna do you in if you don't get rid of it.

 

Oh, this one is an easy one, there are a bunch of guys here pretty hard up, send both the new and the ex gf to live with HF members, then you wont have to choose

Problem solved, I'm always here to help....oh, no, no, you dont have to thank me