Advice for Stupid People

Do not swallow fishing lures even if they forgot to put the do not swallow warning on the packaging.

 

If you're taking a bath and the water gets cold don't try to warm the water by putting an electric room heater in the water at the other end of the tub.

 

Dont golf using Flamingos and Hampsters.

 

Now you tell Me!
I thought that only applied to croquet.

 

Don't correct mistakes in a word doc by using whiteout on the screen.

 

Don't Wait Any Longer.....Procrastinate Now..!!..




Cheers Glen.

 

You can eat Trix if you want to, even if you're an adult!

 

Please Don't Complain About The Coffee.....You'll Be Old And Weak One Day Too.....


Cheers Glen.

 

Don't test an electrical curcuit by licking your fingers and touching the wires.

 

dont eat peanut butter after you have used it to shave your groin area.... you can eat it if you used it to shave anywhere else though...

 

When a policeman behind you turns on his flashing red lights he's not challenging you to a race.

 

this thread reminds me of a chatroom i used to make called "terrible advice"

throw bricks!

eat that packet of stuff marked "do not eat" it's really tasty

 

Whatever you do, don't walk into a tornado hoping to find Dorothy and Toto.

Don't pour cat litter into a toilet to see if it dries up.

Don't drive head-on into the ocean, even if your best friend told you a mazda doing 95 mph would float.

 

Don't ever believe someone when they say; this won't hurt.

 

If At First You Don't Succeed........Then Redefine Success....



Cheers Glen.

 

If you're driving a car and the road is straight, it’s not okay to take a nap.

 

When they say, "Don't try this at home.", it doesn't mean it's okay to do it after you leave the house.

 

When you use the cruise control in your car you still have to steer.

 

*********ADVICE FOR REALLY..REALLY..REALLY.. STUPID MEN*********





We've All Heard About Men Having..."Guts Or Balls".....But Do You Really Know The Difference Between Them......?.....I Therefore Offer The Following As A Guide For All Stupid Men Out There............


A "Guts" Is Arriving Home Late After A Night Out With The Boys......Being Assulted By Your Wife With A Broom.......And Having The "Guts" To Say......Are You Still Cleaning......Or Planning To Fly Somewhere.......?


"Balls" Is Arriving Home Late After A Night Out With The Boys......Smelling Of Cheap Perfume.....Beer.....And With Lipstick On Your Collar........Then Slapping Your Wife On The Ass........And Having The "Balls" To Say.........YOUR NEXT........


Cheers Glen...

 

Goldfish aren't really made of gold.