Accidental/unintended Pregnancy

Discussion in 'Birth Control' started by buzzgunner, Jun 9, 2017.

  1. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    This question is for those of you that swing, or swap, or participate in threesomes.

    Have any of you ever had to deal with an unintended pregnancy where the man involved wasn't the primary partner (husband, boyfriend, SO, etc.) of the pregnant woman? Even if you haven't actually had to deal with this sort of event, have you ever discussed it with your partner(s): how to best prevent it, what to do if it happens anyway, that sort of thing?

    I ask because, while we never had to cope with an unwanted pregnancy (thank God!), the topic came up several times between my wife and I back in 1985, when we were in a regular threesome with a close male friend. My wife and I were married six years at the time and had already decided before we got married that we didn't EVER want any children. (I even tried to get a vasectomy at the time but my doctor turned me down, saying that I was too young to make that final of a decision. Whatever...) We (my wife and I) also decided up front that if she ever did get unintentionally pregnant, an abortion would be our solution of choice. She was on oral contraception, which worked extremely well for her, so we weren't very concerned about it failing.

    Fast-forward six years. Now, the threesome is going strong and she has two guys fucking her bareback on a regular basis. The three of us never discussed birth control and/or its possible failure. However, it came up once between just my wife and I, for no particular reason. To my great surprise, she'd changed her mind and said that if she got pregnant, she was going to have the baby. I asked her if that was true even if tests showed that it was our friends and not mine. She said yes. I asked what she planned to do after the baby was born and she replied that she didn't know. The conversation petered out at that point and was never resumed.

    Still, we never had to put it to the test. The threesome eventually ended, we never tried anything like it again, and (now that I HAVE had a vasectomy) we don't have to worry about it anymore.

    So, back to my original question(s): have any of you ever had to deal with an issue like this, or have you (at least) talked with your partner(s) about how you might deal with it if it happens?
     
  2. SaltyDawg

    SaltyDawg Members

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    No, I never had to deal with this but common sense tells me that you really haven't thought about the ramifications of what you are involved with.
    It's obvious that you don't want to support another person's baby even though your wife secretly wants you to and it's also clear that you haven't stopped this risky behavior.

    You need to make it clear to your wife and your friend what your true thoughts and feelings are or the adventure full of pleasure that you're on will turn into an ordeal full of remorse and hate.
    Communication is the only thing that will clear this up and it's better to do it now when it's inexpensive rather than later when a lawyer gets involved.

    You are now in the Yang part of the Yin and Yang cycle of pleasure and pain.
    Good luck and hopefully your friend has more common sense than your wife does and supports you with your concerns.
    Maybe he can get a vasectomy ?
     
  3. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    I think that you're reading a lot into this that isn't (wasn't) there.

    First, this threesome took place over 30 years ago and only lasted about seven months. Any thoughts/questions I might put forward about it are strictly hindsight.

    While you're right that I don't/didn't want to support another man's baby, it's also just as true that I didn't want to support one of my own. (I simply don't like kids. Never have, never will.) As for my wife secretly wanting me too, I'm confident that's patently false. She never considered herself good parent material (any more than I did myself) and didn't want a baby any more than me. The question was more focused on what happens if the Pill fails and conception occurs. If we didn't have an abortion, then we'd almost certainly have given the child up for adoption. The alternative would be for it to grow up in a home where it didn't get the amount of love it deserved and very likely would have actually experienced resentment.

    My original post was simply to find out if other couples/trios/etc. had discussed the possibility occuring in their situation and what they might have done under circumstances. Nothing more.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. SaltyDawg

    SaltyDawg Members

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    I understand but my advise still stands 30 years later after the fact for anyone else thinking about getting involved with something like this.
    Like the old saying that it's all fun and games until it's not.
    The solution is to keep it under control so the good times will last until everyone agrees that it's time to move on.
    Even little kids get tired of going to Disneyland going on the same rides every day.
     
  5. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    Buzzgunner, I think that if she wanted to have the baby you should be thinking about adoption or raising the child; not abortion.
     
  6. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    Erm... you DID read my second post, didn't you? That's pretty much exactly what I said!
     
  7. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    I think you folks are missing my point. I didn't start this thread to solicit opinions as to what my wife and I should do in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. (That ship sailed over 30 years ago and it isn't coming back!) No, what I'm interested in hearing about is if the subject ever came up for other folks who enjoyed multi-partner sex and what they considered as acceptable/unacceptable options. I'd like to see how other peoples opinions/decisions compare to ours.
     
  8. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    Oh.. no I didn't. Sorry for the redundancy then. :)
     
  9. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    No problem. ;)
     
  10. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    You are going to hate me for saying this, but isnt this like the 100th thread you've made about a threesome you and your wife were in last century?
     
  11. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    83rd actually. ;)
     

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