Accepting Our Bisexuality

Ok, but it just doesnt happen in real life.

Thats the dare to the OP and guys like him, get a boyfriend, bring him to meet the parents, bring him to the BBQs with all the brothers, sisters, cousins etc and their kids....watch what happens...then six months later bring a girlfriend to the same occasions...then six months after that a boyfriend, watch what happens

But he probably doesnt even want a boyfriend, he like many of them is just talking about having sex with guys, a "boyfriend" would be too gay

Its got nothing to do with me, or "society", It will be about those closest too him, parents, family and their friends, work colleagues, and even them themselves because they know full well how everyone is going to think....

Know full well if they get a public boyfriend, everyone will just think they are gay and if they ever try date a chic again; every chic they have ever known will whisper in her ear...until the end of time

The real reason why pretty much every bi guy is on the down low, so it all gets hidden, they all end up looking sneaky and people mistrust them, then just think they've been sneaking around the whole time doing other peoples husbands, or wives on occassions.

The OP and guys like him know all this, my view of the world is irrelevant, Dont shoot the messenger, Sorry for spoiling some peoples online fairytale fantasy

 

But being bisexual doesn't mean you have to scream it from the roof tops. It is perfectly fine for someone to be bisexual and not punch everyone in the face with some form of "coming out". There just does not have to be this black and white gay/not gay definition. If the OP wants to keep it to casual conversation that has to be fine. At the end of the day the only people it concerns are him and whoever he might want to have some bi-relationship with. To the rest it has, well, fuck all to do with them. Sometimes I feel overtly gay people want to push other 'not out' people to be out. I have even known of a couple of gay people who purposely outed others. What complete tossers. Stinks of insecurity.

 

I'm not talking about punching people in the face with it.

Just talking about bringing a boyfriend to the family BBQ

Most of the time they wont even do that

Whether I or others are militant or not, my online opinion has nothing to do with it, I'm never going to know the guy, never going to mix with guys like that anyway

They dont do it, becuase they know full well how their friends, family, siblings, cousins etc will react and think: that they will pretty much just be gay or destined to be gay from then on in in their eyes.

And those guys will do the exact same thing themselves with any other guy that all of a sudden shows up with a boyfriend.

Its about their family and friends, them themselves, nothing to do with me or some BS about society norms

 

Fuck that shit. It's so 30 years ago.

Is that what people do in Australia? I can't remember the last time I went to a family picnic. Lame.

 

Family you can't choose, but friends... Some friend that labels you as "not quite right", "bent as a nine bob note" or some other fucking pigeon hole they want to push you in to. Better off with no friends than people like that.

As for family, well, not much of a family that labels you either. I was unhappy for a long time trying to avoid being labelled and conform to societal norms to "fit in" until one day I just shoved all of that bullshit down a big hole and buried it. Today I'm happy and do not EVER worry what people think or say about me, and guess what, I still "fit in". If the (collective) you need to push me to some place to satisfy your sense of world order, go ahead, but do not expect me to play that game, ever. Don't like who I am? Bye, I have no time for people like that. Much more interesting stuff to be had and people to meet.

 

Meh, some things are never going to change

I agree, whats that line from the Movie Heat? Normal whats that? BBQs and soccer games, yeah yawn......But I have my own little network dont I. They dont, there isnt really any Bi community, for guys especially...well outside glory holes in truck stop restrooms or swingers clubs, swingers circles, where the girls still have all the power anyway.

Its just a numbers game, never going to be enough females that are ok with it, or even have any interest in it to match the number of guys that are that way

I was talking mostly about guys. I assume from your username you are at least 40. Get to that age and a lot will assume you require a certain amount of ahem stamina to be taken care of properly, with a guy anyway. Or you are with girls just becuase you are fed up with guys that are either too greedy or cant live up to the challenge. I didnt say necessarily true, just thats what a lot will think. Just being female, many guys will still think you can get it whenever you want it.

Plus irrespective of orientation, the amount of douchebag guys out there, angry at everything, around our age, that still havent worked out that their behaviour, being controlling, bitter or angry all the time is what scares most people away. Try and weasel their way out of parental responsibilities. Make excuses to get out of the marriage, balme the woman, when it is really only cos they only ever cared about sex and lost interest as she got older and /or they less capable or fit

Thus the amount of single mums out there or divorcees that with a certain amount of discretion can do what they want

No one is going to believe you are better off being completely alone, thats just defensive talk.

Too preoccuppied with only sex, and with the guys it all just comes back to bite them in the bum

Anyones opinion doesnt matter, doesnt change reality.

The reality is most bi guys only want other guys for sex, dont want to form relationships or friendships, dont socialise as well as girls, or the gay guys do. And finding guys the same age that want a bit of rompy pompy gets a whole lot harder as they get older becuase guys just naturally wont be as horny as they get older

Or put it another way, no matter how angry anyone gets at what I'm saying, come back to the OP in ten years time, he still wont be out, either married and she doesnt know, or recently or near to divorced becuase she did find out, and having spent another ten years finding a whole lot harder to find guys to hookup with becuase he never ever told anyone

Its just all the way it is

 

How do you all deal with the pressure of having to choose genders? Have you lost friends that mocked you for being bi? Do you guys agree that just bc you fall in love with one gender means that you're gay or straight?

I try not to discuss bisexuality offline, because all of the ignorant comments can be stressful. Even if I try to explain where I'm coming from or point out facts, the other person still doesn't have the capacity to get it.


I got turned off by a therapist that said "maybe you're gay, if you fall in love with a woman." I told her that I like men. My favorite sexual partners were certain men. She then said, "just bc you get intimate with men doesn't mean that you like them. My lesbian client hooked up with men."

 

I don't discuss it with anybody except close friends who are extremely open-minded.

I'm very tired of labels right now. I just don't care anymore. Those conversations never go anywhere.

 

For me, when i accepted my sexuality, i started to enjoy sex with men. I was also able to have interesting conversations with my bisexusl girl frend.

 

I am not sure what the quotes are hilighting

 

From my perspective, us bisexuals have it really rough. Rougher than straights and pure gays combined, I think. Not only do we have twice the lust for boys and girls alike, but finding an open-minded or bi partner is extremely difficult. And it seems like bis don't quite "fit in" with either straight or gay culture. We're like outcasts, with double the struggle that everybody else has to put up with.

 

I can't speak for bisexual men, who might be stereotyped as oversexed and diseased or something unfortunately. But I think bi women have it easier than either straights or gays. The straight life seems so mundane. It's great to be part of the LGBT community, which is so unique, positive, festive, artistic, and nonviolent, not to mention sexually liberal. But we don't have the difficulties that a lot of gay people face like with workplace discrimination or coming out to family. Our families don't have to know, unless we happen to settle down with a same sex partner, which might be rare.

 

For me, it's really simple. I knew from a young age that I wasn't exactly "normal"...but it wasn't until I hit middle age that I actually made the decision to actually go thru with my deepest fantasy. Sure enough, after fucking a few men and TS along the way, what other way is there to describe it. I'm bi...and I like it.

I have no desire to "come out" so to speak. My sex life is MY business and no one other than who I look at as a potential sex partner...need know anything.

I have sex with women, men and TS because I want too. It turns me on...it scratches my itch. Why would anyone...friend, family member or co-worker need to know about what I do in private? It's none of their business.

I live my life as a "straight" male....but only in MY mind, is the truth known.

 

Im bi and have been all my life consumating it first with a guy when i was 19. Went with plenty of women and some guys the next 20 years before marrying (a woman) - told her I was bi b4 and was then apart from one girl monogamous the next 15 years. Got back with meeting guys surrepticiously and was outed by her; but as we had a lot of love neither of us wanted to split so we re-formed our relationship after some experimentation and we are technically open tho really it is only me who makes use of the licence. She likes to know who i see but rejects joining in a three after previous experiences. Her deal is that she is my only woman. I find it suits me well - I think guys can enjoy sex with much less emotion than women - and solves the problem that my libido has remained quite strong as I have got older whereas my wife's has declined post menopause.I was very happy to be given this freedom, which i really appreciate, in that i dont have to lie or be deceitful - this I think is often what is the cause of breakup of so many relationships. After all when i look at the male contact websites most of the guys there, and it's a huge percentage, are cheating on their wives and living a life of lies.
Simon

 

Op is not active

 

I've always been straight until becoming bi-curious earlier this year. I have had several boyfriends but I want to explore being with another girl. I have an attractive female roommate but we're not 'involved' and I doubt it'll ever get that way. The best thing I can think to do is to approach my interests with women peripherally; letting it be known I'm open minded about anyone I like, and seeing if anyone picks up on it. My radar is out for the girls I know and I'm waiting to gauge their reactions.

 

Hi,
I'm just so confused right now ^^
I m a girl and I've discovered only last year that I was attracted to girls (I had a crush - I mean I fell in love). When I started questionning what I had thought I was, I understood I had been that way for so long but just wouldn't give a voice to my feelings
I told my mum. I thought she'd be cool about that. She is the kind of "I'll always love you no matter what" mom so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal for her.... She took it so furiously. She suggested I undergo therapy "if I loathe men so much" (yeah 'cause according to her when you're bi it's a betrayal to men) xD I feel very confused right now. I'm never gonna share that with friends from school (I only have small talk with them) and I yet I want to say my feelings out loud. Even the girl I love - her name is Edel- I'll never dare to talk to her. I feel like everything is so complicated xD plus I'm French (not for long, hopefully I'll leave) and France is not a cool country, people just put labels on everyone here x")

 

I do it all the time. I brought a girl home for the Fourth of July, And a boy home for Thanksgiving. I have told all my friends, and now I am dating my best friend who happens to be a guy. And we are planning to get married. We enjoy bringing women home and running tag team on them. I have not lost one friend, or business contact. My family is happy that I'm happy. And my friends respect my life style choices. I have not lost one friend, or business contact. My family is happy that I'm happy. And my friends respect

So, I'm sorry if you feel the worlds sucks as a whole. But that is not what I have come to find. People for the most part are goodhearted. The few that are closed minded (yourself included), I truly feel sorry for. As I have no need for those kind of people in my life.

 

So you are going to marry a guy then both of you are going to tag team "women"

Get ready to be inundated with PM's from girls begging to be a part of that